First and 10: Perfection

1. So there you have it: 16-0. History. Perfection. The impossible as reality. The 2007 New England Patriots are the single greatest team in NFL history . . . during the regular season. You, me, and a certain gridiron genius in a gray hoodie realize that this team's true legacy will be determined in the next three games. The Patriots will either go down as the best team ever in professional football . . . or the best team in professional football that didn't win the Super Bowl. The difference there is bigger than Vince Wilfork's backside. But there are two weeks before that next football game, two weeks before the first chapter in Three Games To Glory, Vol. 4 is recorded, and right now is the time to savor what this impossibly brilliant team has accomplished up to this point. We'll begin with all the glittering numbers - Tom Brady's 50 touchdown passes, Randy Moss's 23 touchdown catches, the league records for points (589 . . . 589!) and touchdowns (75) - but you know what makes these Patriots truly special, and perhaps unique in the annals of professional football? An uncanny knack for always - always, always, always - making the play they need to make at the moment they need to make it; just ask the Colts, or the Ravens, or the Eagles, or the oh-so-close Giants tonight. I do not need to tell you that so much of that magic in the clutch is because of the unflappable quarterback, and while I feel obligated to attempt to say something profound about Brady right now, I'm struggling mightily to find the words to do justice to what he has accomplished so far this season. Brady finished 32 for 42 for 356 yards and two touchdowns tonight against a Giants team that made him earn every single yard (so much for resting their players). And yet, even as the Patriots fell behind by their largest deficit of the season, 12 points, there was little doubt that No. 12 would make sure his team would emerge with the victory. The best I can offer is that Brady - whom I considered on par with Joe Montana as the finest quarterback of all time even before this year's statistical explosion - has become one of those elite athletes, like Montana, Michael Jordan, Bill Russell and so very few others - who can be properly described as transcendent. With three more victories, the same term will apply to his team.

2. The Giants have a well-deserved reputation as one of the most maddening teams in the NFL - one week they can look like a legitimate contender in the NFC, and the next week they'll look as hapless as the '76 Buccaneers. That said, my respect for them grew considerably tonight. Their defense came to play, outhitting the Patriots in the first half and landing good, clean shots on Prince Charles all night, and I was also impressed with running back Brandon Jacobs, whose relentless style caused the Patriots to miss countless tackles, especially in the brutally physical first half. (He left tire tracks on Rodney Harrison on more than one occasion.) And while I'm reluctant to praise the Lesser of the Mannings given that the Patriots have had their problems with the inept likes of Kyle Boller and A.J. Feeley lately, I must admit that Eli showed me something tonight. I'm not saying he'll ever escape his brother's shadow, and he may never justify being the No. 1 overall pick, but he played well enough to put up 28 offensive points on a 15-0 team tonight, and for that he deserves credit. Besides, he's not nearly as sorry as Philip Rivers, the all-talk, no-action QB he was, in effect, traded for. Of course, now that we praise them, they'll go and lose to Tampa Bay by two touchdowns next weekend. There's a reason Tom Coughlin looks so tense.

3. I was surprised to see on the stat sheet that Laurence Maroney finished with just 46 yards on 19 carries. Maybe his performance was exaggerated in my mind by the two rushing touchdowns, including the clincher in the final minutes, but I was very impressed with him tonight, and during the last couple of games, really. He's been running violently, and with perhaps as much determination as he has since the beginning of his rookie season, and while I think some of the criticism he has absorbed this season comes from people who always need something to complain about, I am convinced that someone - a coach, a teammate, one of the dudes with a musket - got to him recently and convinced him that he needs to toughen up and bring his game to the next level if this team is going to win a Super Bowl.

4. Brady's double-record-breaking touchdown pass to Moss, a 65-yard bomb with a little more than 11 minutes remaining, was just as aesthetically pleasing as we dared imagine it would be, and that it was the go-ahead score seemed appropriate. There are, of course, certain other on-field matters to be settled before we even begin to consider who will be back with this team next season and who won't be, but I have to say right now that it's absolutely imperative that the Patriots bring Moss back next year even with the higher sticker price. After watching him, I've been completely spoiled, and no other receiver can possibly compare. The circus can't leave town just yet, you know?

5. He might not be the single toughest Patriots pound-for-pound - at the moment, I think that title must go to one Wesley Welker, who finishes the regular season with 112 catches, or one for every pound he weighs - but is there any Patriots fan who isn't thoroughly impressed by Kevin Faulk right now? In his younger days he used to make you nervous because of his penchant for putting the ball on the ground at the worst times, but at this point in his career, he's become the running back version of Troy Brown, the undersized, underestimated guy who never fails to deliver a huge play when the moment demands it. Tonight he had eight catches for 64 yards, and as usual, a couple of his catch-and-run receptions gained crucial first downs. Faulk's one of those guys, like Brown or Steve Nelson or Steve Grogan or Willie McGinest, who we'll remember with increasing fondness as the years pass.

6. I'm sure we'll hear the usual vaguely insulting words associated with Bill Belichick over the next few days and weeks - humorless, bland, dour, frumpy, stoic, emotionless, unsentimental, cold, and so on - but the man sure looked pretty damn happy to me as he embraced his players as the clock wound down on history. I've said it before and I'll say it again: That Belichick is reluctant to share his human side with the media does not detract from the reality, which is this: He's might be the most compelling person in the entire league, he has more players and coaches who are immensely loyal to him than any coach I can think of with the possible exception of Bill Parcells, and to pigeonhole him as some sort of android just because he is uncooperative or wary is the act of someone who would rather settle for a cliche than put the effort in to find the complicated truth.

7. Know who led the Patriots in tackles tonight? Harrison? Always a good guess, but No. 37 (who was particularly, um, "animated" tonight) was second with six stops. Mike Vrabel? Again a good guess, but he had just two (and one huge onsides kick recovery). Ellis Hobbs? A good sleeper pick, for he always seems to be hauling down a receiver after a reception, but he also had six tackles, five solo. Ready for the answer? Brandon Meriweather, with seven, six solo. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what that means - does Belichick trust him more in the base defense now than he did a few weeks ago, or were his stats enhanced by playing special teams? - but it's certainly encouraging that this year's first-round pick suddenly is showing signs that he will live up to his advance billing, and it couldn't happen at a better time. The more playmakers the Patriots have, the better, especially against the looming Colts.

8. I'm not saying I'm shocked that Giants punter Jeff Feagles is still employed in the NFL, but it fairly amazing that this is the same guy who impressed few while averaging a measly 38.3 yards per kick for the 1988 Patriots. Being a punter is a nice and lucrative life if you can get it. (Somewhere, Sean Landeta nods in agreement.)

9. I'm just going to assume that the new and alarming holes in the usually stellar kick coverage team were due to the absence of special teams aces Willie Andrews and Kyle Eckel, and that it's something Brad Seely will have properly repaired by the time the Patriots take the field again. (And that concludes tonight's B**** About Something Minor Minute. Thank you for joining us, and please visit us again in two weeks when we attempt to urinate on another parade.)

10. As for today's Completely Random Football Card:



You know, I was all set revel in the fact that it's finally time for the ubiquitous Mr. Morris to shut up and go home, but after hearing his hilariously oblivious humiliation of Fred Smerlas and Steve DeOssie on WEEI this week ("Did you guys ever play football? Didya?"), the crazy old Dolphin is all right in my book. Don Shula, however . . . now there's someone who can just shut up and go home.

First and 10: Patriots 24, Polian SoundMachine 20

1. So let me get this straight: The Patriots played far and away their sloppiest game of the season, with equally poor tackling and blocking . . . against their biggest rival, which happens to be the undefeated defending Super Bowl champion . . . in a hostile, raucous dome that may or may not have had its sound system enhanced by every microphone Bill Polian's minions could snap up at Tweeter . . . while being forced to overcome a ridiculously inept junior-varsity referee (Hochuli must have been putting on the gun show at the Senior Mr. Universe competition this week) . . . and yet, despite all of that, they scored two touchdowns in the final nine minutes, made two enormous defensive plays down the stretch, and escaped with a 24-20 victory. And yet the recurring theme I heard on the national football shows Sunday night and Monday morning had little to do with the Patriots' remarkable, improbable, affirming comeback or the fact that Peyton Manning reverted to his old habit of swallowing his tongue in the clutch. Nope, all the Youngs and Schlereths could talk about was how Saint Dungy and the Colts deserve a pat on the back for hanging so tough against football's Evil Empire. To which a Pats fan can say only this: Keep it up, fellas. It's this sort of disrespectful nonsense is exactly what's helping to fuel this vengeful, angry football team right now. I'm not saying they will go undefeated - hell, they're not even halfway there yet - but this victory, and the way it came about, should at least make the '72 Dolphins nervous. The mission continues.

2. Just heard John Clayton say the Colts were "thrilled" when Joseph Addai fell to them with the 30th pick in the 2006 NFL draft. Funny, but I seem to recall some lamenting on their part that Laurence Maroney (taken 21st by the New England Cheaterasterisktaints) was the player they really wanted. Either way, things turned out pretty well for Indy. Addai is a remarkably fluid runner, a perfect fit for the Colts' offense. While I'm not ready to say he'll be a better player than Maroney - I still think with good health and a little more decisiveness No. 39 will live up to his tantalizing talent - he's definitely the superior back at the moment.

3. I still haven't heard a plausible story as to why Adalius Thomas played such a limited role Sunday. (I think Mike Reiss said he saw the field on just three of 10 defensive series.) Rodney Harrison did an outstanding job covering Dallas Clark, but you have to figure there still should have been some role for the versatile former Raven, particularly after Tedy Bruschi was so ineffective in the first half; hell, I thought half the purpose of signing Thomas in the offseason was to unleash him on the Colts. I don't buy the theory that the Patriots' scheme was so complex that they felt they had to use the linebackers who are more experienced in the system. My primary suspicion is that the ankle injury he sufffered against Cleveland is bothering him more than he lets on, and in a sense I hope that's all it is.

4. Manning and the Colts' fans should know better than to blame injuries for this loss. If I recall correctly, the Patriots were without eight starters in last year's AFC Championship Game, including the essential Junior Seau (we'd never have heard of Eric Alexander or Bryan Fletcher had he been healthy), Harrison, and Richard Seymour, who got hurt early in the game. By the end of the fourth quarter, I think the Patriots defensive backfield consisted of Troy Brown, Rashard Baker, Prentice McCray, and Fred Marion. Further, the team was ravaged with the flu. Yet I'm pretty sure I didn't hear Manning mention in the aftermath that he picked apart a decimated Patriots defense, and he shouldn't have. It's football; you're always going to be playing without a hobbled teammate or two. This time it was Indy's turn. Here's hoping it is next time, too.

5. The next time these teams meet, the network televising the game would be wise to set aside one camera to aim at Indianapolis general manager/resident lunatic Bill Polian. Mike Felger was talking about this with two of the guys from Patriots Football Weekly (their names escape me at the moment, but the insufferably snide Paul Perillo wasn't one of them) on his show the other day - apparently Polian is an out-of-control madman during the game, swearing, yelling, pounding his fists, and threatening not to pay off the referees if they don't start calling more phantom pass interference calls on the Patriots. (Okay, maybe not the last one.) Everyone I've heard mention this seems to agree that it really enhances the game experience. I don't know about you, but I would pay good money to see his reaction when Kevin Faulk dove over the goal line for the go-ahead touchdown. I bet his sucker-punched his personal Smithers and stormed out of his box to go find an intern to pistol-whip.

6. Regarding Faulk, I probably should confess that I thought J.R. Redmond was a much better third-down option back in the day, and once even went so far as to suggest in my Concord Monitor column that the Patriots should make an example of Faulk and cut him after a particularly boneheaded fumble in a galling loss to Green Bay. Of course, he's overcome those fumbling problems, and despite that it takes him roughly 10 stutter-steps to gain three yards, he's made himself into a remarkably effective, versatile, smart, and trustworthy player. You bet I'm glad he's still here. And by the way, whatever happened to Redmond, anyway?

7. An asterisk? Seriously? I'll just chalk that up as further proof that anything Don Shula says about the Patriots should be immediately disregarded. The former Dolphins coach has had it in for the Patriots franchise the infamous snow plow game. It's worth noting that in a way he was the Polian of his time - a successful and powerful figure in the league who had a knack for using his clout on the competition committee to his own team's benefit. I'm not saying he's a hypocrite. What I will say I suspect he did things to gain a competitive advantage for the Dolphins that would make Spygate look even more trivial than it is. Okay, I am saying he's a hypocrite.

8. Baseball stuff: Love the C. Montague Schilling signing, obviously. The price is right, the expectations aren't high, and yet this is guy who was the No. 2 postseason starter for a championship team. It's the definition of win-win. I really got a kick out of Shaughnessy's column on Schilling's return, too. I'm not saying the compliments were insincere, but I'm pretty sure he typed the thing backhanded . . . Happy to see Orlando Cabrera win his second career Gold Glove; he's steady and spectacular, a much more worthy choice than the usual rangeless alternative . . . Youk was a deserving winner as well, but I'm a bit chapped (copyright: Dale Arnold) that Coco Crisp was overlooked. He's better than Torii Hunter at this point, and he's much more fearless than Grady Sizemore . . . Here's what I know about John Russell, the new Pittsburgh Pirates manager: He caught one of Nolan Ryan's seven no-hitters; he was a no-field, no-hit catcher for my Maine Guides in the late-'80s; and his wife at the time (I think they're divorced now) was absolutely the hottest woman I had seen in my life until that point. She was a blonde who looked and dressed like she strolled right off Malibu Beach, and having grown up in Bath, Maine, where the girls' idea of skimpy clothing was taking the sleeves off their L.L. Bean vest jacket, let's just say I'm pretty sure she caused my teenage jaw to unhinge, among other parts. I have no idea if John Russell can manage a baseball game, but he's got my respect . . . ARod's going to the Mets, isn't he?

9. He might kill me for saying this, but is there a bigger fraud in professional sports than Ray Lewis? The pile-jumping, Bible-thumping, spasming-like-Elaine Benes fool had the nerve to blame the Ravens' offense after Lewis and the Baltimore defense gave up five first-half touchdown passes in a blowout loss to the Steelers Monday night. Granted, the Baltimore offense does stink, and their blunders repeatedly gave the Steelers excellent field position. (Remember when Brian Billick was an offensive genius? Funny how he coached Randy Moss then, isn't it?) But anyone playing for a defense that gives up 35 first-half points has no right to point fingers. Lewis was once worthy of his reputation, but he talks a much better game than he plays.

10. As for today's Completely Random Football Cards:

I stumbled across this unsolved mystery while searching for the Lydell Mitchell card that concluded a recent post. Notice anything unusual about this progression from '73 to '79? (Excluding '77, which I couldn't find.):













So . . . either ol' Lydell was a charter member of Hair Club for Men, he figured out some secret formula to reverse aging, or that follicly challenged cat on the '73 card is not him (and it does look like him). Any theories regarding what is going on here would be much appreciated.

(And yes, I did just spend 15 minutes analyzing the hairstyle of a '70s football player. Someday I will get the help I need.)

First and 10: Sunset on a season

1. It was natural, in the mournful aftermath of the Patriots' loss to the Colts, to be tempted to put the franchise's days as an NFL power in the past tense. We longed for the not-so-long-ago days when Tom Brady was infallible and Peyton Manning could be counted on to swallow his chin strap in the clutch. We lamented a lost opportunity, and wondered, with a supersized dose of self-pity, if it would ever be so good again. Hey, it was devastating loss. We were appropriately devastated. But now that the defeat has had a week to fade farther away in the rear-view mirror, our perspective is again one of logic more than emotion. And while we still ache from a game that was two minutes too long, we can't help but feel optimistic about the Patriots and the direction in which they are headed. Oh, sure, some are eager to declare the dynasty dead, and while two years without a Super Bowl is absolutely a step back given what they accomplished in previous seasons, I believe with some minor tinkering this team will rise again before they fall. Think about it: Belichick is still here and still hungry. Brady is in his prime. Laurence Maroney looks like a dynamic ballcarrier. They are strong in the trenches on both sides of the ball and deep in the defensive backfield. We all know they need an impact linebacker and a wide receiver or two, but with two first-round picks and a few dollars to spend, those holes can and will be plugged. Further, we must applaud them for doing what was thought to be impossible during this salary cap era - they have replenished their talent base without sliding down the standings. The Patriots are a younger team now than they were in 2001, and if you take a look at some of the names on the roster that humbled The Greatest Show On Turf that glorious night, you'll realize they're a far more skilled team too. Contrary to current public opinion, they are not going the way of their closest peers in NFL history, the dynastic Cowboys of the '90s, who failed to surround its Hall of Fame core with a quality supporting cast once free agency took its toll. (And we won't even get into the impact of Barry Switzer's involvement.) The Patriots are not beginning a slow descent into mediocrity; they went 12-4 and lost in the conference championship game undergoing personnel transitions that would constitute a full-fledged rebuilding job for most franchises. That is an astonishing feat, and even with the abrupt ending, it was a hell of a season. Good health willing, there are even better seasons ahead.

2. It's trendy, particularly among the suddenly giddy Belichick Bashers, to say that Tony Dungy outcoached the Hoodied One in the second half, and maybe there's some truth there; even the likes of Andy Reid and Herm Edwards must be tempted to question the inept way the Patriots (mis)managed their timeouts in the final two minutes. But to say the Colts made a shrewd adjustment when they decided to stop throwing deep to Reggie Wayne and Marvin Harrison and instead started targeting the tight ends and running backs over the middle is to ignore the fact that everyone who watched the Patriots this season wondered why the Colts didn't do this sooner. Even a know-nothing bagpipe like Glenn Ordway knew Dallas Clark would be a tough cover for the Patriots' linebackers, who developed a collective case of rigamortis (oh, right . . . cramps) as the season progressed. The second half certainly was hideous for the Patriots; I shudder to think how many points Peyton and the Ponies might have produced had they been shrewd enough to attack the Patriots' glaring weakness from the start.

3. Obviously, an agile linebacker or two should be atop Belichick's grocery list in the offseason. Chicago's Lance Briggs and Baltimore's Adalius Thomas are the notable names in free agency, and while both are accomplished players (Thomas strikes me as a Willie McGinest clone), I'm not going to pretend to know how either would fit into the Patriots' complex scheme. Another intriguing possibility is Buffalo's London Fletcher-Baker, a fireplug whom Belichick has gone out of his way to compliment this season. I wonder if he's setting the stage to try to acquire him; it reminds me of the praise Belichick heaped on Rosey Colvin the season before he lured him to New England. I'd also like to believe the mock drafts are on the money and the Patriots will spend one of their first-round picks on Ole Miss's Patrick Willis. He can run, played his heart out for a hopeless team, says he's more suited to playing the 4-3, and has the maturity Belichick desires. In other words, he just what they need . . . presuming he fits their system, of course.

4. It's all well and good that the NFL kinda-sorta admitted it's mistake on the phantom Ellis Hobbs "face-guarding" call, but I'm still waiting for an explanation why no flag was thrown when Reche Caldwell was fondled, mugged, and mutilated in the end zone on a crucial fourth-quarter fade pattern. Had that happened to one of the Colts' delicate flowers, that nut Bill Polian would have stormed the NFL offices in a tank.

5. All right, Asante Samuel, I'm a believer. After the Law-like job you did on Marvin (Please Don't Touch Me!) Harrison, you deserve the title of Shutdown Corner, and the appropriate eight-figure signing bonus that comes with it. Here's hoping you're all right with becoming acquainted with another title: Franchise Player.

6. Samuel is obviously the priority among the free agents, but I do hope the Patriots find a way to retain Daniel Graham. Not only is he a devastating blocker and a respected voice in the locker room, but in my opinion he's the best all-around tight end on the roster by a Wilfork-wide margin. Ben Watson had a decent season numbers-wise, but the inconsistency of his hands and route-running was maddening, and I got the sense Brady's faith in him shriveled as the season progressed. Graham, meanwhile, made crucial catches in both the San Diego and Indy games, receptions I'm not sure Watson would have made since he struggles to hang on to any throw that doesn't hit him between the 8 and the 4 on his jersey.

7. So, has anyone heard from all the would-be personnel wizards who claimed the loss of Adam Vinatieri would cost the Patriots at least one game, if not two? The reality is that the greatest clutch kicker in NFL history was not missed for one moment this season, and for that it's time to give Stephen Gostkowski his due: after some early hiccups, the kid ultimately handled every challenge during a fine rookie season. Like his decorated predecessor, he saved his best moments for the playoffs, hitting all eight of his field goal attempts, including a 43-yarder that gave the Patriots a short-lived 34-31 lead against the Colts. And his final kickoff was a bomb - had the Colts not marched 80 yards down the field for the victory, he'd be getting his just due as an unsung hero.

8. That certain whinnying talk-radio metrosexual who claims that Rashad Baker's walk-on role in the Indy game is proof that the Patriots lacked roster depth? He's a lotion-slathered idiot. Anyone with a shred of perspective realizes Baker wouldn't be anywhere near the field if Harrison, Wilson, Artrell Hawkins, Tebucky Jones, Don Davis, and perhaps even Mel Mitchell hadn't been hurt. Including James Sanders and versatile Chad Scott, Baker is the Patriots' sixth-string safety at best. Quick, tell me one other team that is even four-deep at the position. Hell, the Colts' season-long defensive problems were in large part due to injuries to starting safeties Bob Sanders and Mike Doss - they simply had no one capable of replacing their best two guys. If anything, it's a nod to the Belichick and Scott Pioli's roster-building skills that they had one of the elite defenses in the league while playing without Harrison and Wilson almost the entire season.

9. Because we're shaking off our Patriots hangover and slowly transitioning back into baseball mode here at TATB headquarters, I suppose we should weigh in on the rumor of the day, that the Sox are in "high-level" negotiations with the Rockies to acquire first baseman Todd Helton. Our take: Good god, please let this be fiction. Helton is 33, has a bad back, is coming off a season in which he hit 15 homers with a career-low .476 slugging percentage playing half his games at Coors Field, and is due $90.1 million over the next six seasons. Even if the Rockies pick up half of the contract and take Matt Clement off the Sox's hands, I fail to see what the appeal is. Sure, he was a premier hitter not so long ago, but at this point, Helton's a line-drive hitter who sees a lot of pitches and plays a fine first base. Sounds like John Olerud circa 2005 to me. Pass, Theo.

10. As for today's Completely Random Football Card:



Gee, think the Fridge will be the subject of any "Where Are They Now?" stories the next two weeks?

First and 10: Michael 37, Fredo 16

1. I suppose we could talk about the wacky tempo of this game, the closer-than-the-final-score tension, the compelling moves and countermoves by a pair of coaches that know each other's tactics and strategies and tics and quirks so well. And I suppose we could talk about the return of the Patriots' duende, that old tough-guy swagger, and the growing belief that this team has picked the perfect time to play it's best football of the season. I suppose we could talk about all those things . . . and we will, right after we get to the obligatory storyline of the day: Belichick hugged him! He hugged Mangini! He did! And he cold-cocked cameraman to do it! Stop the presses! STOP THE PRESSES, I SAY!!!, (Can we let this stupid melodrama die now? Please? We can? Oh, thank God. Now let's talk some football . . . )

2. So much for longing for the departed, huh? Jabar Gaffney (8 catches, 104 yards) comes through with a performance right out of the Deion Branch postseason highlight reel. Stephen Gostkowski boots three field goals, including a 40-yarder, thus silencing the "They should have paid Adam!" banshees for at least one day. And the emerging Tully Banta-Cain does a more than passable Willie McGinest imitation, delivering two sacks. Nope, not a bad day for the replacements at all.

3. His final stats (22-of-34, 212 yards, 2 TDs) aren't all that extraordinary, but anyone who watched the game knows that Tom Brady was masterful today, in particular on the crucial 1-yard touchdown pass to Daniel Graham. Not only did he have the presence of mind to realize the Jets defender had his back to the play, but he made an absolutely perfect throw to the one spot where Graham could get it. You simply cannot throw a better pass than Brady did on that play. I was so impressed, I ended up rewinding the DVR and watching it three times immediately after it happened. What a throw, what a performance, what a quarterback. (Can I fawn anymore here? I know, I sound like Theismann.)

4. Pete Carroll to the Dolphins? It's the hot rumor of the day, and you know I'm jacked and pumped just thinking about it. Carroll is an idiot if he leaves USC - his rah-rah enthusiasm is perfect for the college game, and as we learned the hard way in New England, not so perfect for the NFL. It sure would be fun having him back in the division, though.

5. Talk about coming up big in your walk year. He's coming off like the defensive version of Rod Tidwell at the moment, but I'm starting to think Asante Samuel is going to be worth the ridiculous money some team is going to throw at him next year. (And for the record, I'd wager a Freeman McNeil rookie card that said team will be the J-E-T-S, Jets-Jets-Jets. It makes too much sense not to happen.)


(This here is Freeman McNeil, in case you have no freakin' idea who I was just talking about.)

6. I don't know about you, but this Pats fan has immense respect for the Jets right now. They're obviously well-coached, showed signs of maturity by refusing to make excuses in defeat, and should they add talent to the Vilmas and Rhodeses and Cotcherys, they're going to be a formidable foe for the Patriots for years to come. And count me in as a Chad Pennington fan. He's what Brady would be after a half-dozen Tommy John surgeries. The arm is feeble, but he knows what to do with the football.

7. Okay, so Vince Wilfork doesn't quite have breakaway speed, and if he's actually within 20 pounds of his listed 325, then I'm Nicole Richie. But man, was he immense in every sense today. Not only did he have the presence of mind to pick up the grounded lateral when everyone else was standing around and looking at the pretty lighthouse, but he routinely swallowed up Jets running backs who dared plunge into the line of scrimmage as the Pats limited the Jets to 76 yards on the ground. Wilfork's return to health gives me a shred of faith that L.T. might just be containable.

8. Vinny Testaverde is quickly turning into this team's Human Victory Cigar. I'm sure Jets fans were just thrilled to see a ghost from disappointments past out there putting the finishing touches on the end of their season.

9. Did you catch Shawne Merriman's interview at halftime with the CBS studio crew? The Chargers' All-Pro meathead actually claimed the Jets were outplaying the Pats and would win the game. Wishful thinking there, pal. And what the hell was he wearing? Something from the Kmart "Flashdance" collection? A onesie from Baby Gap? His favorite muscle shirt to show off his 'roided-up guns? Nope, it's not going to be too hard to work up vitriol for this joker this week. Not hard at all.

10. As for today's Completely Random Football Card:


Yep, Jabar's old man wore the green and white. Must have been just delightful for Jets fans, getting tormented by a name from their past repeatedly today.

(Thanks to reader TMurph for the suggestion.)

First and 10: Patriots 40, Dirty Rotten Titans 23

1. So the Jets it is, huh? I suppose this makes it an easy week for the Felgers and Ordways of the world, who can yowl about Handshakegate and crank up the hype machine to full-throttle. Yep, we're getting the Border War matchup the banshees have desired all along . . . and the funny thing is, I suspect it's the matchup Bill Belichick would prefer as well. The Patriots are a superior team to the Jets in terms of talent and accomplishment, but given an additional week of preparation and catching the Patriots on a short week, Eric Mangini took his estranged mentor to the woodshed last time around, pulling off an upset as convincing as it was stunning. You have to figure a vengeful Belichick will make sure it won't happen again, especially given the fact that his team already knows the consequences of underestimating the Jets. Further, an optimist might argue that the Patriots are peaking at the right time - the turnover-free road victories over physically tough Tennessee and Jacksonville were encouraging to say the least, reminiscent of the way they won so many games in '03 and '04. I like this team a lot right now, and judging by his demeanor lately, I think Belichick does too. Of course, that's not going to stop him from showing them the grisly footage from the Jets' loss 20 times this week. Another loss to the Sons of Richard Todd? It's as unacceptable as it is unlikely.

2. I understand why Dick Enberg occasionally fumbles his words - god bless him, he's been blurting out his trademark "Oh, my!" since Red Grange was galloping around in a leather helmet. But what's his partner Randy Cross's excuse? He must be still suffering from post-concussion syndrome from his Niners' days or something, because he is unlistenable. He botches players names chronically, turns an anecdote into a mind-numbing miniseries (tell me again why Jeff Fisher doesn't like having the scores announced), and comes across in a joking manner that might be tolerable if it wasn't a device to mask his lack of preparation. Please come back, Phil Simms. We took you for granted, and we even promise to never again peg you with a snowball.

3. I'm still not comfortable with him being this team's de facto No. 1 wide receiver. But Reche Caldwell has convinced me that he's a worthy replacement for David Givens, and considering the piles of money that so many less productive wideouts received in free agency, you'd have to consider him perhaps the best bargain of the offseason.

4. Looks like accomplished cheap-shot artist Kevin Mawae has shared a few of his dirty tricks to his Tennessee teammates. You know a team is dirty when you come away with the impression that they're a roster full of lawless lowlifes, then realize that Skull Stompin' Albert Haynesworth wasn't even involved. Not that our own Rodney Harrison is a Lady Byng winner; there is a smidgen of irony in the fact that he was taken out by a dirty play. Of course, recognizing such irony didn't prevent me from spewing a string of expletives as Harrison writhed on the ground. He's played so well since he came back, and losing him at this point would be crushing.


5. Every time someone tries to tell you that Belichick is bloodless Xs-and-0s-spouting automaton, keep in mind that he has set aside a play in the season finale each of the past two years to give an old favorite one final moment for the highlight reel. Last year, it was Doug Flutie with the dropkick. This year, Vinny Testaverde got to throw one last touchdown pass, giving him at least one in a record 20 consecutive seasons. Ask me, such consideration makes Belichick downright sentimental.

6. Man, Ed Hochuli just kills me - the three-sizes-too-small shirt and "Welcome to the gun show" flexing when he announces a penalty is so narcissistic and transparent, I half expect that on one of these Sundays, he's going to show up shirtless, with zebra stripes painted onto his torso.


7. I suppose there's some correlation between his ascent to the starting job and the Titans' revival . . . but there is no doubt that Vince Young has a lonnngg way to go to become the quarterback the "He wins games!" mythmakers claim he already is. To borrow the words of Gil Santos: "This kid can run, but he's not so good at throwing it." Ain't that the truth - I haven't seen so many bounced screen passes since the days before Drew Bledsoe became acquainted with Mo Lewis. Ditching the Byung Hyun Kim delivery might be a place to start.

8. Adam "Pacman" Jones is a cross between Deion Sanders and Ol' Dirty Bastard. He could end up playing in a half-dozen Pro Bowls, or he could end up hosting "The Playas Ball VI: Titan Pimp!" Right now, I'd say the odds are slightly tilted toward the latter.

9. He has a nose for the end zone, always seems to get 37 inches on 3d and 1, and needs a gurney to get off the field after any run over 25 yards. Yep, I'd say Corey Dillon is morphing into Antowain Smith, and that's really not such a bad thing - hell, most aging backs turn into Marion Butts. Besides, the Patriots did win two Super Bowls with the affable Smith playing a crucial role, and Dillon, despite his creaky wheels, quietly had a very productive season, scoring 13 rushing touchdowns to tie the franchise single-season record set by some guy named Curtis Martin in 1995 and 1996. He's not what he used to be, but he's still pretty darn useful nonetheless.

10. As for today's Completely Random Football Card:


I'm guessing he didn't win a whole hell of a lot of playoff games with the Patriots, either.

* * *

Happy New Year's, and thanks for making this little blog so fun and rewarding. I sincerely appreciate the fact that you take a moment in your day to check in and read what we have to say. Here's hoping 2007 brings the fulfillment of all your dreams. (Quietly humming "Same Old Lang Syne" . . . you know, the kick-ass Dan Fogelberg version . . .)

* * *

One more thing before I go pound whatever remaining Sam Adams Winter Lager we have left over from Christmas: This was probably my favorite sports column of the past year. It's a thoughtful reminder of why we became fans in the first place, and it seems appropriate now, on a day meant for new beginnings. Enjoy

First and 10: Patriots 24, Jaguars 21

1. Heard Belichick's taped postgame interview on 'EEI today, and it was almost disconcerting how giddy, animated, and downright chatty he was in the immediate aftermath of the victory. Hell, he even asked Steve DeOssie and Pete Sheppard for their opinions on Jack Del Rio's decision not to go for the onside kick with a little over 2 minutes remaining, and engagingly discussed his thoughts on what to do in that situation. You got the sense that Belichick was genuinely savoring clinching the AFC East, the first real fruits of his best and most challenging coaching job since the 2001 season. Better yet, you got the sense that Belichick really likes his team at the moment . . . and if he likes his team, maybe that whole four-in-six-years thing isn't as improbable as it might sometimes seem.

2. There were a lot of encouraging developments in Sunday's victory - the success of the ol' dink-and-dunk offense, the renewed discipline in terms of protecting the ball and limiting penalties - but nothing raised a Pats fan's optimism more than this: Rodney Harrison is back, baby, and an outstanding Patriots defense just got smarter, meaner, and whole lot more fun to watch. Damn, I sure missed him.

3. When Tom Brady returned to the game one play after Jaguars linebacker Clint Ingram attempted to give him the Mo Lewis treatment, you could pretty much hear an entire six-state region exhale at once. No offense to Matt Cassel, but there is not a more horrific sight for a Pats fan than watching him jog onto the field while No. 12 is writhing in pain on the turf, gripping his right arm. I'm pretty sure I saw the last six seasons flash before my eyes in the few horrifying moments that Brady was down.

4. I want to see more of Dave Thomas even when Benjamin Watson is healthy. The rookie third-rounder out of Texas was the most impressive pass-catcher on the field Sunday, and it's pretty clear that Brady has confidence in him that he doesn't yet have with players who have seen much more playing time. (See: Jackson, Chad).

5. I know his production has tailed off even when he hasn't been injured . . . but man, Laurence Maroney makes such a difference when there's a concerted effort to involve him in the offense. His game-breaking touchdown run was simply breathtaking, and I'm keeping the faith that Belichick and Josh McDaniels intend on unleashing him in the playoffs. I'm still pissed about the whole four-touches-in-second-half thing against Indy. Give him the ball 15 times in the final two quarters, and I bet the Patriots win that game.

6. Asante Samuel is having a Pro Bowl-caliber season, but if he wants to become a legitimate No. 1 cornerback, he needs to make better judgments about the when to go for the ball and when to play it safe. Of course, his reputation has been enhanced almost solely due to his eight interceptions this season, and for the free-agent-to-be, more picks probably equals more digits in the paycheck.

7. If you didn't see it, check out Mike Reiss has an insightful piece in Wednesday's Globe on the Patriots' philosophy regarding roster construction. Belichick is particularly candid, and it really puts into perspective how wise it is to prioritize depth over a roster top-heavy in high-priced talent but with several minimum-wage players filling out the bench. The most obvious example is in the defensive backfield, where the likes of Artrell Hawkins and Chad Scott have helped the Patriots survive and even thrive despite losing Eugene Wilson and Randall Gay for the season and Harrison for a prolonged stretch.

8. While it looks like the Pats are all but locked in to hosting Denver in the first round, I find myself holding out hope for another showdown with the Jets. Eric Mangini had two weeks to prepare for the Pats last time around, and given his intimate knowledge of the Patriot Way, he made the most of it. He won't be so fortunate again. In Round 3 of the renewed "border war," the Patriots will have the prep-time advantage - I can't imagine they're wasting much thought on the Titans this week - and you know the revenge factor will give Belichick additional motive.

9. I don't know a Pats fan that wasn't pulling for Romeo Crennel to succeed in Cleveland, given that his opportunity to be an NFL head coach was long overdue. But now that the Browns are beyond hopeless and his job is in serious jeopardy, I find myself hoping that he'll make his way back to Foxboro next season. By all accounts Dean Pees has done a heck of a job with New England's defense, but Crennel is as good as it gets. Bet Mangini would love to have him in New York, too.

10. As for today's Completely Random Football Card:


Jacksonville rookie flash Maurice Jones-Drew reminds me so much of Brooks, the former Chargers and Bengals dynamo, and if you don't remember him, trust me when I say that it's high praise. Brooks was the short, speedy type like Jones-Drew, and he had huge legs and packed the hardest per-pound wallop of any back of his time. Brooks is one of few backs to continue improving into their 30s. Not a bad back for Jones-Drew to emulate, all in all.

First and 10: Dolphins 21, Patriots 0

1. In the immediate aftermath of Sunday's debacle, I was annoyed (okay, pissed) at what I'd witnessed. I was convinced the Patriots were setting us up for a one-and-done cameo in the playoffs, and I had the urge to write a dynasty's obituary. Instead, I chose not to write at all, giving myself a few days to sort it all out and try to put the franchise's current state in proper perspective. Well, those days have obviously passed, and so here's where I think they stand: The Patriots, thinner depth-wise than in most years and crippled by more injuries than Colonel Potter's 4077th, are not an elite team anymore, just one of a number of good but flawed teams trying to prove it's more contender than pretender - just like everyone other than San Diego, in other words. The days of expecting every Sunday to bring certain victory are gone, and to be honest, I'm okay with that: a sports fan with a sense of entitlement is an unbecoming sight, and anyone who survive Rod Rust and Victor Kiam, among other eras and errors, knows a Patriots team with a 9-4 record is something not to be taken for granted. And yet, there's no denying that recent history has heightened our hopes, and in that regard it's disheartening to realize that a team that has so exceeded even our wildest expectations the last five seasons is suddenly trending in the wrong direction. Consider this: We like to hang our hats on the fact that the Belichick Patriots are traditionally beasts in December, that they always improve this time of year. But now we're looking at three straight weeks and four out of five in which they've played like a bumbling, second-tier NFC team. They're committing penalties like they're the Oakland Raiders in disguise, and they turn the ball over way too often for a team with grand aspirations. I hate to say it, but it seems they're getting worse, and I can't believe I'm saying that at this point in the season. Sure, maybe they'll find their mojo against lowly Houston, and maybe they'll pin down Jacksonville and Tennessee just the way the Jaguars and Titans did to the Colts, and maybe they'll enter the postseason with a little bit of momentum, the confidence of knowing they can beat anyone on a given Sunday, and wisdom of a three-time former champion. But right now, any dreams of a return trip to Miami in February have to be tempered by the reality of this gruesome first visit. The Patriots have a long way to go to get there again.

2. Yes, Deion Branch shot his way out of town, but only an idiot or Fred Smerlas (synonymous, I know) would dispute the fact that the Patriots would be a much better team at this hour had the Patriots found a way to satisfy dependable ol' No. 83. He's dearly missed, for unlike every receiver on this current roster, he could get open against quality cornerbacks and tight coverage consistently, and anyone who denies that isn't being honest.

3. Ellis Hobbs is so far in Belichick's doghouse, not even Doug Gabriel can see him. I'm curious what his transgression was, other than jumping around like a Chris Canty-esque fool every time he makes a marginally good play.

4. If Vince Wilfork is down for any significant length of time - and apparently, he was hobbling around on his redwood legs with a pronounced limp Monday - I fear the Patriots' run defense will begin to resemble that of 2002, when legendary windbag Steve Martin spent his Sundays flailing around and planning his next interview as ballcarrier after ballcarrier whizzed on by.

5. I refuse to believe the Patriots could do no better for a Josh Miller replacement at punter than Ken (But I'm A Magnificent Holder!) Walter. He's horrible, he was horrible the last time he was here, and there simply has to be a better alternative out there. His return makes no sense except from the perspective that they wanted a reliable holder for Stephen Gostkowski. Which, frankly, is an ass-backward way to choose a punter.

6. The more footage I saw of Maurice Jones-Drew, Fred Taylor and the rest of the Jaguars stampeding of the fraudulent Colts, the more annoyed I became that Laurence Maroney didn't get 25 carries, minimum, against Indy earlier this season. Ask me, Josh McDaniels has a long way to go to prove he's worthy of his OC title.

7. Matt Light is to Jason Taylor as Max Lane was to Reggie White. A human turnstile, a minor nuisance, a speed bump on the way to the quarterback. Man, what a whuppin'. Belichick wasn't exaggerating - Taylor might be the most dominating defender in the NFL this season. He was reminiscent of another Taylor, one who used to wear No. 56 for the Giants.

8. Speaking of Taylor, the Dolphins swiped him in the third round of the 1997 NFL Draft, 73d overall. The Patriots' picks up until that point: Canty, Brandon Mitchell, and Sedrick Shaw. Bust, journeyman, bust. Bobby Grier was something, wasn't he? (One more note: Mike Vrabel went later in that third round, to Pittsburgh . . . two picks after the Pats selected the long-forgotten Chris Carter.)

9. I miss the days when Tedy Bruschi made game-changing plays.

10. As for today's Completely Random Football Card:


Hey, look - it's a Patriots tight end who actually held onto the ball once in a while!

First and 10: Patriots 17, Bears 13

1. It was a far cry from flawless, what with the nine combined turnovers, including five by the Patriots, three in the red zone. But you know what? Our Guys won, and if there's anything we've learned during the Belichick/Dynasty Era, it's that a W is a W is a W, not matter how aesthetically unpleasant it may be. Besides, we tend to agree with Ron Borges's take this morning - there is something intrinsically appealing in watching two violent and relentless defenses do their thing. It was a fun and ultimately rewarding game to watch, mistakes, blunders, terrible calls, deflected passes and all. Best of all, the Patriots took the Bears' best shot, and for the first time this season against an elite foe, they didn't prove to have a glass chin; finally, they earned a notable victory against a team with a winning record, and if the season progresses in the manner we expect it to, it's entirely possible that the rematch of these two heavyweights will be scheduled Feb. 4 in Miami.


2. Farewell, Junior Seau. I admit I was a skeptic when you deferred your "graduation" to answer Bill Belichick's call - aging former superstars with a reputation for freelancing aren't often willing accomplices to the Patriot Way. Yet you played so remarkably well and fit in so seamlessly in your 11 games as a Patriot, damned if it didn't feel like you had been one of ours all along. Here's hoping that raucous, appreciative salute the Gillette Stadium crowd gave you as you departed gave you a measure of pride and joy to combat the agony of the moment.


3. Wow, was that Asante Samuel out there, or was it Ty Law in a braided wig? No. 22's performance Sunday was right out of ol' No. 24's highlight reel - three interceptions that showed off hands Chad Jackson would kill for, a surprisingly steady and stout presence in the running game (nine tackles), and an occasional, forgivable gamble that doesn't pay off. Samuel is a free agent after this season, and while he strikes me as a solid No. 2 cornerback rather than a legit No. 1, I hope the Patriots pay him, even as the price keeps rising. Quality corners are rare gems, and Samuel has proven to be at least that.

4. Brady's Vick-in-super-slo-mo fakeout of Brian Urlacher has to be one of my favorite random Patriots plays of all-time, and it was enhanced by the players' reaction to it: Brady busted out the completely out-of-character, animated "First Downnnn!" signal, while Urlacher's sheepish smile revealed his embarrassment beneath his facemask. And for what it's worth, after watching him brawl with my favorite team, I admire Urlacher even more now than I did before. Not only is he a force of nature on the field - no one that big should be that fast - but, at the risk of sounding like one of those Favre suck-ups, he's clearly enjoying himself out there. The guy is a joy to watch, for both talent and temperament.

5. He's still something of an enigma - how could he allow two sure receptions to ricochet skyward and become interceptions? - but it's worth noting that Ben Watson is quietly having a stellar statistical season. He's fourth among tight ends in receiving yards (599, ahead of such notables as Todd Heap and Alge Crumpler) and fifth in receptions (45). And best of all, he seems to be getting better and gaining more of Brady's trust with each passing week. He's becoming exactly what we hoped he'd be, even if he's not quite there yet.


6. Dr. Z has long been my second-favorite football-loving curmudgeon (after my dad), but I really lost a heap of respect for him after this irresponsible item in a recent column:

Let's take a look at all-pro DE/DT Richard Seymour. . . . I watched Seymour when the Pats lost to the Jets. Biggest dog you've ever seen on the field. No effort, no technique, I mean tight ends were steering him around like a VW. OK, maybe he was hurt. You never know with this club.

C'mon, now, what the hell is that? A vicious attack ("biggest dog you've ever seen") followed quickly by a half-assed concession that he "might" be hurt? Pathetic. Seymour, his elbow and leg injuries apparently healing, was again his havoc-wreaking self against the Bears. I hope Dr. Z took notice, though I suspect he was too busy watching Matlock re-runs and worrying about making it to the early-bird special in time to pay much attention.

7. I've got "Monday Night Football" on in the background here at the TATB home office (a.k.a. the couch). And while I might be mistaken, apparently Joe Theismann stopped admiring his reflection in his always-handy pocket mirror long enough to pay attention to tonight's game, because I swear I just heard him blabber these well-worn words: "That's just Brett trying to make a play there. You've really got to admire his competitiveness." So what gridiron miracle did Funny-Bone Favre pull off this time? Hail Mary touchdown pass to Driver, perhaps? C'mon, you know better than that . . . try and ill-advised, who-gives-$*&#& heave, followed by an interception, followed by the requisite excuse-making from the color commentator. I've really got no problem with Favre, who's likeable enough even as he fades into mediocrity. But I've gotta say, the incessant verbal backrubs really make me root for him to suck.


8. Hmmm . . . looks like Giants fans are starting to suspect that Eli Manning isn't and never will be the quarterbacking equal of his big brother. How soon before Stage Father Archie demands the Giants trade his Youngest Doofus Spawn to a more accommodating place . . . you know, such as sunny San Diego? Man, karma is a . . .

9. Other scattered thoughts from Week 12: Joey Harrington has a whole hell of a lot more class than Matt Millen and his bush-league Lions. How does that proven dope keep his job, anyway? . . . For all the hubbub surrounding his comments, Jim Mora Sr. was spot-on: Michael (Dirty Bird) Vick is a coach-killer . . . A buddy of mine who's a Cowboys fan to the point of raging insanity (he sucker-punched a sliding-glass door when Vinatieri flagged down Herschel) says Tony Romo's quarterbacking style reminds him of Jeff Garcia during his peak years in San Francisco. Um, lets hope T.O. doesn't find out about this comparison . . . Did you catch Marvin Harrison's little hissy fit against the Eagles? Looks like Ty Law's old punching bag is having a tough time coming to grips with being Reggie Wayne's caddy in Indy . . . Martin Gramatica in, Drunken Idiot Kicker out in Dallas. I still don't understand why the Tuna didn't ante up for Vinatieri . . . The six best teams at the moment: 1. San Diego (but Marty Schottenheimer, the Tom O'Brien of the NFL, will screw it up on the big stage.) 2. Baltimore (until McNair's inevitable injury) 3. Indy (Joseph Addai looks like an upgrade over Edgerrin James) 4. New England (and you know I'd bet on them to beat the three teams ahead of them when it matters) 5. Dallas (Romo has cured everything!) 6. Chicago (if only they had a better QB than Rex the Blunder Dog).

10. As for today's Completely Random Football Card:


Kevin Faulk broke Collins's team record for career receptions by a running back Sunday with his 262d, and I'm not going to tell you how old it made me feel to realize that my memories of Collins's rookie season are 25 freakin' years old. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go funnel some Metamucil with Dr. Z.

First and 10: Patriots 35, Packers 0

1. Well, that sure was a reassuring win. In many ways, the 35-0 beat-down of Brett Fav-rah and the Packers was a classic Belichick-era Patriots victory. Whenever their backs have been up against the wall and they face a must-win situation, that's when they've tended to play their very best games. Talk about an immensely valuable characteristic to have. Of course, questions still remain: Why have they been so much better on the road than at the Razor? Are they capable of playing this way against a playoff-caliber team? Is there enough depth in the defensive backfield to shut down a quarterback better than the disinterested Favre? I suppose we'll get all the answers in the coming weeks. But after Sunday, you have to feel encouraged that we're going to like what we learn about this still-resilient team.

2. Tom Brady? Injured? (Scoffs.) That's crazy talk. Man, you must have read that somewhere else. What idiot would suggest such a thing? Oh, all right, to be completely honest, I remain skeptical that he is as healthy as he claims to be. I just can't comprehend that his uncharacteristically inconsistent passing this season is simply the result of a suddenly scattershot arm. He's been so consistent for so long that you have to believe something is wrong when his radar inexplicably goes on the fritz. But if he's going to keep playing as efficiently and effectively as he did this week - now that was the Brady we've been waiting to see - I'll be glad to be proven wrong each and every Sunday, all the way to Miami.

3. It looks like the Patriots don't have much intention of signing him after the season, and he probably hasn't produced enough to justify being a first-round pick in 2002, but I think the Patriots are a better football team when Daniel Graham is healthy and involved. He remains a devastating blocker - ask Julius Peppers about the whupping Graham put on him in the Super Bowl XXXVIII - and while he seems to juggle every catch he makes, he's an effective receiver despite his limited use. Maybe if he can stay healthy for the rest of the season, they'll give more consideration to keeping him around. He's no star, but his value can't be denied.

4. So what was the most ridiculous aspect of the Brett Favre "He'd Play The Game For Free!" experience Sunday? How the NFL's most accomplished drama queen needed a friggin' medical cart to get to the locker room after suffering an owie to his funny bone? How said medical cart/motorcade nearly turned a Patriots player (Ellis Hobbs, I believe) into roadkill as the teams left the field for halftime? Or how CBS - and the affably oblivious Dan Dierdorf in particular - acted as if Favre's absence was some devastating loss to the Packers, when in fact he was an abysmal 5 for 15 for 73 yards and looked as if he couldn't wait for the damn hopeless cause to get over with? He's playing for the streak now (250 and counting), and little else. Back in the day - you know, when he was actually good - I admired Favre for his obvious talent and joy as much as anyone. But those days are long gone, and the he-can-do-no-wrong Jeterification of his accomplishments is little more than a misleading annoyance at this point.

5. We interrupt this football programming to bring you this special report: THE CUBS PAID $136 MILLION FOR ALFONSO (SLIDER IN THE DIRT, STRIKE THREE) SORIANO? HOLY *#*#*!!! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE *$&%&#*&#& KIDDING ME!!! THAT'S INSANITY!!!! We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

6. Gotta admit, I'm coming around on Reche Caldwell. Sure, I had my gripes about his seemingly slippery hands and inability to get separation, and the dude's Chris Tucker eyes still freak me out. But he deserves nothing but plaudits for his recent steady and reliable play, and of all the new additions to the receiving corps, he seems to have done the most to earn Brady's trust. I'd still rather have David Givens, but Caldwell's doing his best to make the Patriots look good for taking a flyer on him.

7. Among the birthday loot I received today from Mrs. TATB (I'm 29 for the ninth straight year, if you were wondering) was a requested copy of Charlie Pierce's best-seller-to-be on Ol' No. 12 In Your Program, No. 1 In Patriots Fans' Hearts. I have this suspense-killing habit of skimming a book before I actually read it, and during tonight's speed read, the most interesting revelation I found was this: Damon Huard, the third-string quarterback during the 2001 season, earned that Super Bowl ring in far more ways than we ever realized. A close friend of Bledsoe's who shared an insatiable work-ethic with Brady, his deftness at diffusing the tension between his quarterbacking peers proved crucial in keeping the team together. I always thought Huard was a better quarterback than he got credit for - the consensus in Miami was that he should have gotten the job over Jay Fiedler after Dan Marino retired, and he's certainly rescued the Chiefs this season - but I had no idea he was such a good teammate, too.

8. The Tony Romo man-love from the Peter Kings of the world is getting to be a bit much. While the kid is a blast to watch, brought energy to the stagnant offense, and has even helped put some color back in the Tuna's alarmingly pallid face, he's become the recipient of verbal backrubs from the media usually reserved for quarterbacks with the surname Manning. (Or Favre.) What is it Parcells himself once said way back when after one of his young Patriots was the object of the media's overwrought platitudes? Ah, yes: "Let's not put the kid in Canton just yet, fellas." Then again, he was talking about Curtis Martin if I recall correctly, and it's a foregone conclusion that there is a mustard-colored jacked in his future. I'm pretty sure I just contradicted my own point there, so let me reiterate the so-called point: Romo is capable, an upgrade on the calcified Bledsoe for sure, and he's making it fun for Dallas fans again. But the fawning could make this fun story annoying pretty quickly for those who don't sleep beneath a Cowboys blankie at night.


9. As if you need more proof that I fall somewhere between "Damn Fool" and "Tony Kornheiser" in terms of football insight, I have to admit that I wrote a column back in 2001 imploring the Patriots to avoid drafting a certain undersized running back from Texas Christian in the first round. Yeah, I thought LaDainian Tomlinson was a stiff. (And I won't even mention that I wanted them to draft David Terrell or Koren Robinson with that No. 6 pick that was eventually used on Richard Seymour. Hey, I wasn't the only one.) Tomlinson, as he's proved with his record-setting sprint to 102 touchdowns in 89 career games, is of course anything but a stiff. At age 27, he's already among the all-time greats, entirely worthy of the LT nickname, and he's made that shrewd Chargers front office look all the more clever: That vaunted Vick-for-LT-and-Brees blockbuster looks more and more like a heist each time Tomlinson crosses the goal line.

10. As for today's Completely Random Football Card:


Huh. I guess I just assumed football broadcasting's answer to Tim McCarver has had that goofy-ass mustache since birth.

First and 10: What's the catch?

First and 10 while wondering if Tom Brady is pissed about the Branch deal . . .


1. I'm having a tough time coming to a logical conclusion regarding the Deion Branch soap opera, in part because the whole damn thing is so illogical. I don't understand why Branch and his agent never offered a counterproposal to the Patriots' two perfectly reasonable offers . . . unless Branch simply wanted to get the hell out of the organization. And if that's the case . . . why? He was playing with the best QB in the league on a championship-contending team, one set up well for the present and the future. There aren't many better situations in the league, so why was he so willing to smile, shrug, and napalm the friggin' bridge? And while Seattle gave him one more year and slightly more money than the Patriots' best offer, he has to know he's one torn ACL away from never seeing the end of that contract, that a long-term NFL deal isn't worth the paper it's printed on. And on the other side of the negotiating table, why did the Patriots ultimately "give in" and give him what he supposedly wanted? Do they really think they can win with a foursome of Reche Caldwell, Troy Brown, Clarence Weathers, and Carlos Pennywell at receiver? Do they think Branch, small and daring to the point of disregard for his body, has a short shelf-life? Do they think the first-round pick is better than fair value? Did they believe he'd hold out until Week 10 and that they'd might as well get something for him now? Are they so arrogant as to believe that Tom Brady, Richard Seymour and 51 Ordinary Joes would form a productive roster in their system? I desperately want answers, not that I'm expecting any: Belichick offered no insight today (there's a news flash) and Branch handled himself with class during his introductory press conference in Seattle. So I guess, until the truth and real motivations eventually leak into the newspapers, I'll have to settle for these few things I do know:

• Anyone who bashes Branch's ability is a fool. I've been hearing people (okay, mostly 'EEI mouthbreathers) claim his hands were questionable, he wasn't really an elite receiver, that he was injury-prone . . . and you know what? It's complete and total b.s., nothing more than the ignorant rantings of scorned nitwits. He was a fantastic player for the Patriots, one who rose to the occasion in the biggest moments (21 catches and one MVP in two Super Bowls, the game-opening 50-yard warning shot at Heinz Field in '04), a selfless teammate who put winning first (he was in tears at the end of the Denver playoff loss), and he was much tougher and more fearless than any sane receiver his size should dare to be. Deion Branch was everything we'd want a Patriot, while his departure was ugly, it's too bad he's not still one of ours. I'll miss him.

• It was shameful when Ty Law, for a long time the highest-paid DB in the NFL, bitched that he needed a new contract so he could feed his family. But when Branch says he needs to money to "take care of [his] kids," well, as a father myself and one who can't imagine what he has gone through, I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt.

• Getting ahead of myself here, but . . . a Pats-Seahawks Super Bowl would be something, wouldn't it?

2. I'd be an idiot to question Scott Pioli's team-building methods, but I must admit I do wonder why the Patriots don't try to sign their young, talented free-agents-to-be a year or two before they test the market. I'm fairly certain David Givens would still be here - and at a considerably lower hourly rate than he got from Tennessee - had he been offered a contract a year or two ago, and I fret that upcoming free agents Eugene Wilson, Daniel Graham, and Dan Koppen will be the next to get an offer from elsewhere that they can't refuse. It seems to me that once a player proves he is going to be the player you hoped he's be when you drafted him - or even exceed those expectations - it would save a lot of drama and maybe even a few dollars to renegotiate his first contract before it expires. The only downside, so far as I can tell, is the fear of signing someone long-term, then losing them to injury, but that strikes me as a risk worth taking.

3. One of the many benefits of having Rodney Harrison back is that Eugene Wilson also is back, if you follow. After Harrison blew out his knee in Pittsburgh and was lost for the rest of the '05 season, Wilson had to take on so much more responsibility. While he played adequately, he was no longer Eugene the Hitting Machine, the apparent budding star who thrived in Harrison's shadow. With Harrison back directing traffic, calling signals, and relieving Wilson of the burdens that weighed him down late last year, here's hoping he finds that ol' ball-hawking, Riddell-cracking form. I missed him almost as much as I missed Harrison.

4. From the midpoint of last season through this Sunday, Rosey Colvin has been exactly what the Patriots thought they were getting when they signed him to a rich free-agent deal before the 2003 season: a tireless, smart, havoc-wreaking, pass rusher. So this is what he looked like before he busted up his hip.

5. As talented as he is, it's a bit much to expect Ben Watson to make up for the lost production of Branch or Givens - let's see him catch more than four balls in a game before we send him off to Canton, okay, fellas? (Holy crap, I think I just channeled Parcells there.) However, I'm not saying I expect the Patriots offense to shrivel even though they lack a proven starting receiver. From what I saw of Laurence Maroney and a healthy and determined Corey Dillon Sunday, the Patriots are going to run the football with more effectiveness, authori-TAY, and balance than we've seen around here since the "New England, the Patriots, and We" heyday of Craig James and Tony Collins.

6. I'm curious if there's anything to the thinly-sourced rumors that the Patriots might be interested in disgruntled Raiders receiver Jerry Porter. His stats last season were remarkably similar to Branch's, but he seems considerably less graceful off the field than he is on it. Porter, already inactive, allegedly behaved like a jackass in the closing moments of their embarrassing loss to the Chargers, laughing as Aaron Brooks was sacked for something like the 37th time. The Patriots aren't afraid to take a flyer on talented so-called malcontents - Dillon and Bryan Cox come to mind - but Porter's apparent open disrespect for his coach and his team might convinced them he's not worth the time.

7. If Ellis Hobbs plays the rest of the season the way he played Sunday, he can start making plans to jet to Hawaii the week after the Super Bowl. He made the dangerous Lee Evans disappear like . . . (let's see, a Linda Evans joke would be lame here . . . so would a Copperfield/magician joke . . . god, I crack myself up . . . okay, play it straight . . . thinking of a lousy receiver now ) . . . um, Reche Caldwell.

8. My apologies to LaMont Jordan, but every time I see No. 34 take a handoff for the silver and black, I immediately begin having Bo Jackson flashbacks. (Too much Tecmo Bowl in my formative years, probably.) I can't imagine what effect this must have on Brian Bosworth - he must go all fetal and weepy every single time No. 34 gets the rock.

9. From the Damning With Faint Praise Dept.: Junior Seau has already made me forget all about Monty Beisel. Yup, faint praise. Now if he'd just quit jumping on every pile and acting like he made the initial hit, I might be cool with one of my favorite enemies being a Patriot and having the temerity to wear Willie Mac's digits. (I know, Seau had 'em first at 'SC, blah, blah. Hey, I'm wearing a 55 Pats jersey as I write this, and it ain't a Seau shirt, you dig? Could be a Don Blackmon, though.)

10. As for today's Completely Random Football Card:


I rarely give ESPN much credit in this space - as the alleged worldwide leader, you'd think they could do better than the likes of Skip Bayless and DJ Boo-Yeah, among many other irritants - but they deserve an attaboy for having the foresight to add Ron Jaworski and Dick Vermeil to their second Monday Night Football crew. I thought they were downright terrific during the Chargers-Raiders clunker. And in a major upset, Vermeil made it through the telecast without once bursting into tears.