Someday you'll find it . . .

Ten free minutes for me, 10 free ainbowray onnectioncays for you:


1. I think I've made it pretty clear I want Manny Ramirez batting cleanup for the 2007 Boston Red Sox . . . but even I have to admit that those apparently unfounded Jake Peavy-to-Boston rumors briefly had me daydreaming about a Peavy-Matsuzaka-Beckett-Schilling-Papelbon rotation. How sick would that be?

2. I know it's popular to claim his personality is as bland as his ubiquitous grey hoodie, and his reluctance to share even the most minute details regarding his team would drive me mad if I were a Patriots beat writer. Still, I have to say I'd pay good cash for a ticket to listen to one of Bill Belichick's increasingly frequent press-conference dissertations on the history and finer tactical points of football, and anyone who doesn't find that stuff insightful, compelling, and of great interest to New England football fans probably shouldn't be covering the sport in the first place.

3. Let's get something straight: I'm not entirely opposed to the Sox signing J.D. Drew. He's an immensely talented player, and I thought Gammons hit it on the sweet spot today when he compared him to Fred Lynn. What bothers me - even more than any concerns about his makeup, which are justified if perhaps exaggerated - is that it appears he's coming as a de facto replacement for Manny, when what the Sox should be doing is slotting him in as the much-needed No. 5 hitter behind Manny.


4. Every time I see Matthew McConaughey in those "We Are Marshall" commercials, I can't help but be impressed that Wooderson got his act together and grew up to be a football coach. I'm guessing he loves those college girls, too.

5. I've banged through about half of Charlie Pierce's tome on Tom Brady, and I'm enjoying it even though his writing level exceeds my pea-brained comprehension by such a great distance that sometimes I can't see his point with a telescope. The religious stuff in particular eludes me, but this much I have gathered: 1) Lloyd Carr is a bigger boob than he appears to be, which is saying something. 2) There's a pretty decent chance Drew Bledsoe eventually would have lost his job without Mo Lewis's violent intervention. 3) The author isn't the only one who seems to believe Brady is destined for grander things beyond football.

6. Call me vindictive, but my teensy little heart gets all jacked and pumped every time Pete Carroll's Trojans gag away a big game and that old familiar "Golly, what the heck just happened?" look returns to his face. The Rose Bowl isn't a bad consolation prize, though.

7. I say the Celtics start letting Rajon Rondo and Gerald Green learn on the fly with 35 minutes of PT per night, allow Doc Rivers to do his oblivious routine from the sidelines for the rest of the season, and pray that it all adds up to Kevin Durant or Greg Oden in Celtics Green a season from now. Maybe it's a gamble to bank on the ping-pong balls falling your way - whatever did become of Tim Duncan, anyway? - but it's better than a paper-thin 8th seed and a late-lottery draft pick.

8. How come we haven't heard Eric Gagne's name in much hot-stove chatter so far? Seems like in a market where marginal middle relievers are commanding multi-year, multi-million deals (hello, Baltimore), a once-dominating if injury-prone closer might pique some team's interest. I'd love for the Sox to take chance on him, provided the price is reasonable or the contract is incentive-laden.

9. Trap game? C'mon, you know better. The Pats could start Gene Mruczkowski at tailback today, and I'd still pick them to whup Matt Millen's hapless Lions by at least a pair of touchdowns. Let's be humble and call it . . . oh, 34-10.

10. As for today's Completely Random Baseball Card:



Can't honestly say if I'd vote for him for the Hall of Fame or not - I believe he was a juicer, but I also believe that hardly puts him in the minority among his contemporaries. But I do wonder if he's as skinny these days as he is on this '89 card. It's entirely possible, assuming he's cut back on the andro and various other so-called vitamins.

First and 10: Patriots 35, Packers 0

1. Well, that sure was a reassuring win. In many ways, the 35-0 beat-down of Brett Fav-rah and the Packers was a classic Belichick-era Patriots victory. Whenever their backs have been up against the wall and they face a must-win situation, that's when they've tended to play their very best games. Talk about an immensely valuable characteristic to have. Of course, questions still remain: Why have they been so much better on the road than at the Razor? Are they capable of playing this way against a playoff-caliber team? Is there enough depth in the defensive backfield to shut down a quarterback better than the disinterested Favre? I suppose we'll get all the answers in the coming weeks. But after Sunday, you have to feel encouraged that we're going to like what we learn about this still-resilient team.

2. Tom Brady? Injured? (Scoffs.) That's crazy talk. Man, you must have read that somewhere else. What idiot would suggest such a thing? Oh, all right, to be completely honest, I remain skeptical that he is as healthy as he claims to be. I just can't comprehend that his uncharacteristically inconsistent passing this season is simply the result of a suddenly scattershot arm. He's been so consistent for so long that you have to believe something is wrong when his radar inexplicably goes on the fritz. But if he's going to keep playing as efficiently and effectively as he did this week - now that was the Brady we've been waiting to see - I'll be glad to be proven wrong each and every Sunday, all the way to Miami.

3. It looks like the Patriots don't have much intention of signing him after the season, and he probably hasn't produced enough to justify being a first-round pick in 2002, but I think the Patriots are a better football team when Daniel Graham is healthy and involved. He remains a devastating blocker - ask Julius Peppers about the whupping Graham put on him in the Super Bowl XXXVIII - and while he seems to juggle every catch he makes, he's an effective receiver despite his limited use. Maybe if he can stay healthy for the rest of the season, they'll give more consideration to keeping him around. He's no star, but his value can't be denied.

4. So what was the most ridiculous aspect of the Brett Favre "He'd Play The Game For Free!" experience Sunday? How the NFL's most accomplished drama queen needed a friggin' medical cart to get to the locker room after suffering an owie to his funny bone? How said medical cart/motorcade nearly turned a Patriots player (Ellis Hobbs, I believe) into roadkill as the teams left the field for halftime? Or how CBS - and the affably oblivious Dan Dierdorf in particular - acted as if Favre's absence was some devastating loss to the Packers, when in fact he was an abysmal 5 for 15 for 73 yards and looked as if he couldn't wait for the damn hopeless cause to get over with? He's playing for the streak now (250 and counting), and little else. Back in the day - you know, when he was actually good - I admired Favre for his obvious talent and joy as much as anyone. But those days are long gone, and the he-can-do-no-wrong Jeterification of his accomplishments is little more than a misleading annoyance at this point.

5. We interrupt this football programming to bring you this special report: THE CUBS PAID $136 MILLION FOR ALFONSO (SLIDER IN THE DIRT, STRIKE THREE) SORIANO? HOLY *#*#*!!! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE *$&%&#*&#& KIDDING ME!!! THAT'S INSANITY!!!! We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

6. Gotta admit, I'm coming around on Reche Caldwell. Sure, I had my gripes about his seemingly slippery hands and inability to get separation, and the dude's Chris Tucker eyes still freak me out. But he deserves nothing but plaudits for his recent steady and reliable play, and of all the new additions to the receiving corps, he seems to have done the most to earn Brady's trust. I'd still rather have David Givens, but Caldwell's doing his best to make the Patriots look good for taking a flyer on him.

7. Among the birthday loot I received today from Mrs. TATB (I'm 29 for the ninth straight year, if you were wondering) was a requested copy of Charlie Pierce's best-seller-to-be on Ol' No. 12 In Your Program, No. 1 In Patriots Fans' Hearts. I have this suspense-killing habit of skimming a book before I actually read it, and during tonight's speed read, the most interesting revelation I found was this: Damon Huard, the third-string quarterback during the 2001 season, earned that Super Bowl ring in far more ways than we ever realized. A close friend of Bledsoe's who shared an insatiable work-ethic with Brady, his deftness at diffusing the tension between his quarterbacking peers proved crucial in keeping the team together. I always thought Huard was a better quarterback than he got credit for - the consensus in Miami was that he should have gotten the job over Jay Fiedler after Dan Marino retired, and he's certainly rescued the Chiefs this season - but I had no idea he was such a good teammate, too.

8. The Tony Romo man-love from the Peter Kings of the world is getting to be a bit much. While the kid is a blast to watch, brought energy to the stagnant offense, and has even helped put some color back in the Tuna's alarmingly pallid face, he's become the recipient of verbal backrubs from the media usually reserved for quarterbacks with the surname Manning. (Or Favre.) What is it Parcells himself once said way back when after one of his young Patriots was the object of the media's overwrought platitudes? Ah, yes: "Let's not put the kid in Canton just yet, fellas." Then again, he was talking about Curtis Martin if I recall correctly, and it's a foregone conclusion that there is a mustard-colored jacked in his future. I'm pretty sure I just contradicted my own point there, so let me reiterate the so-called point: Romo is capable, an upgrade on the calcified Bledsoe for sure, and he's making it fun for Dallas fans again. But the fawning could make this fun story annoying pretty quickly for those who don't sleep beneath a Cowboys blankie at night.


9. As if you need more proof that I fall somewhere between "Damn Fool" and "Tony Kornheiser" in terms of football insight, I have to admit that I wrote a column back in 2001 imploring the Patriots to avoid drafting a certain undersized running back from Texas Christian in the first round. Yeah, I thought LaDainian Tomlinson was a stiff. (And I won't even mention that I wanted them to draft David Terrell or Koren Robinson with that No. 6 pick that was eventually used on Richard Seymour. Hey, I wasn't the only one.) Tomlinson, as he's proved with his record-setting sprint to 102 touchdowns in 89 career games, is of course anything but a stiff. At age 27, he's already among the all-time greats, entirely worthy of the LT nickname, and he's made that shrewd Chargers front office look all the more clever: That vaunted Vick-for-LT-and-Brees blockbuster looks more and more like a heist each time Tomlinson crosses the goal line.

10. As for today's Completely Random Football Card:


Huh. I guess I just assumed football broadcasting's answer to Tim McCarver has had that goofy-ass mustache since birth.