Little big man

Ten free minutes for me, 10 free Dana Jacobson bleep-faced rants for you . . .


1. Remember when Kevin Faulk couldn't nudge aside a decaying Terry Allen to become the Patriots' feature back? Remember a few years later when he lost his third-down role to temporary hero J.R. Redmond? Remember when you cringed every time he carried the ball because it seemed like he fumbled in every big situation? Remember when Kevin Faulk wasn't nearly as dependable, clutch, admired, smart, tough, respected, and downright essential as he his now, in his ninth NFL season? Talk about a player who has redeemed himself, not only on the field but in the eyes of the fans. He's the heir apparent to Troy Brown as the team's designated Beloved Overachiever, and it's to his endless credit that he has arrived at this point in his career after such a maddening start.

2. It kills me how the ESPN hairdos and other would-be contrarians, in their desperation to find a way the Giants can stop the Patriots, repeatedly cite the 1990 Bills and the 2001 Rams as two historically great offenses who were defeated in the Super Bowl. I mean, c'mon - shouldn't it be obvious, even to the multi-concussed likes of Merril Hoge, what the common denominator was in those two games?

3. Let's see: Mike Vrabel allegedly tried to leg whip Philip Rivers in the AFC title game, Rodney Harrison's list of dastardly transgressions is long and distinguished, and I'd be tempted to side with Richard Seymour against Nick Hardwick's claim of cheap play if only he hadn't been caught stomping on the Colts' Tarik Glenn last season. If the Pats aren't careful, they're going to get the reputation as a dirty team. Which, frankly, is fine by me.

4. Philip Rivers yaps way more than a quarterback of his limited talent and accomplishment should, but after watching him gut it out against the Pats on a messed-up knee while LaDainian Tomlinson passed the biggest game of his career by brooding in his Haz-Mat suit on the bench, I know who I'd respect more in that huddle from here on out.

5. A pleasant dilemma for Danny Ainge: Should he sign Damon Stoudamire once his buyout with the Grizzlies becomes official, or should he gamble and hope that the superior Sam Cassell - a good buddy of KG's and proven postseason performer - becomes available in a similar fashion a few weeks down the road? I think I vote for the latter, though the risk is that Stoudamire signs elsewhere, Cassell doesn't become available, and we're stuck watching the likes of Tony Allen pass, punt, and kick the ball upcourt in a playoff game when Rajon Rondo is on the bench.


6. I suppose the man Bill Parcells christened "Beach Ball" deserves credit for being honest about who he's pulling for this week. To put this delicately, DeOssie doesn't strike me as a guy who always put family before football, but he wouldn't be the first person to get his priorities straight as he grew older.

7. Damn. Talk about seeing a ghost. A few days ago, I watched that '86 Maryland/North Carolina game on ESPN Classic - you know the game I mean, for it's remembered as Bias's definitive performance - and I was reminded yet again how easily the memories of his death come rushing back. Yeah, I'll probably check out the movie. But I doubt I'll see anything that wasn't permanently burned into my mind when I was 16 years old and devastated.

8. The closer we get to spring training, the closer I get to officially becoming concerned that Terry Francona doesn't have the lucrative, long-term contract he deserves. Here's hoping this is something Theo's getting done under the cover of darkness, and it'll be announced when we're not expecting it.

9. Best wishes to Tom Coughlin with your extensive skin-graft surgery, and here's hoping you don't come out looking like the Cat Lady. Seriously, by the end of the NFC Championship Game, he looked like a cross between the Snow Miser and Fire Marshall Bill. Couldn't he have at least worn some ear muffs?

10. As for today's Completely Random Hockey Card:


I pay about as much attention to hockey as I do to "The View," but I'm fairly certain the Bruins' coach looks nothing like this nowadays.

Free and easy (down the road)

Ten free minutes for me, 10 free half-formed thoughts for you . . .


1. While the Merril Hoge's of the world continue to spew their concussed nonsense about some "blueprint" to beat the Pats, I have to say that I'm actually more confident that they're going to run the table than I have been all season. Here's why: 1) Laurence Maroney is running with more determination and ferocity than I can recall seeing since the beginning of his rookie season. 2) Richard Seymour looks fully healthy for the first time this season, Tedy Bruschi is suddenly rejuvenated and running around like a madman again, and long-lost Eugene Wilson appears to be regaining his usefulness, meaning that their defense is peaking at the perfect time. 3) I have complete faith that once the postseason arrives and every throw matters again, Tom Brady will stop trying to play pitch-and-catch with Randy Moss even when No. 81 is quintuple covered, and the entire passing offense will again become viciously efficient and prolific.

2. A subtlety smart move the Patriots made last season: signing Jabar Gaffney to a two-year contract after he got cut by the Eagles. One other thing about TATB's new football binky: in 2005 with the Texans, he caught 55 passes for 492 yards . . . resulting in a puny 8.9 average. I can't think of a receiver ever having a lower YPC during a productive season. I suppose that's what you'd call the David Carr Effect.

3. Jon Beason, the Miami linebacker we thought the Patriots would take in the first round, is third in the NFL in tackles (130) in his rookie season with Carolina. Another rookie who was long gone before the Pats picked - San Francisco dynamo Patrick Willis - leads the league with 162 tackles, and Jets freshman David Harris is tied for 10th (115). I'm not going to pretend I know how well any of these players would fit the Patriots' system, but from my uneducated perspective it sure looks like the past draft would have been a fine time to take that young linebacker they're going to need in the coming seasons.

4. The Celtics' three losses are a two-point loss at Orlando, a five-point overtime loss at Cleveland, and two-point loss to Detroit - three very winnable games. I'm not saying they would be 26-0 - there are certainly a couple they have won that they could have lost - but they're a lot closer to perfection that most of us realize.

5. The Miami Heat is 8-21, the worst record in the Eastern Conference. Pat Riley, never one to stick it out at the expense of his career winning percentage, should be resigning from "exhaustion" any day now.

6. I hope Dan Shaughnessy is correct in his column today and this is the year Jim Rice, the Sox' slugging superhero in my first seasons as a fan, gets the call from Cooperstown. But I just can't convince myself enough voters will change their minds on him the season to put him over the 75 percent threshold.

7. I'm skeptical that the Sox's interest in Johan Santana is 100 percent genuine as it is - I'm fairly certain they just want to see Hank the Tank cave in and give up Hughes and Kennedy - but the thing that makes me really believe they won't make this trade is the ace lefty's request for a seven-year, $140 million deal. There is simply no way Theo Epstein agrees to pay any pitcher $20 million dollars per season at age 35, let alone one who will cost a collection of fine prospects in trade and who showed subtle signs of decline at 28.

8. Wonder how baseball's version of George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley feel about each other these days. Andy Pettitte's admission that he tried HGH was basically an indictment of Roger Clemens, his longtime teammate and workout buddy. Pettitte, to his credit, took the honest way out. Clemens called his lawyers, sought out Steinbrenner crony Mike Wallace to interview him, and issued a string of non-denial denials. Pretty much what you'd expect from both of them, actually.

9. Just when I start wondering if karma is nothing but a convoluted way for people to convince themselves that the cruel injustices of the world will eventually be righted, Clemens's career ends with him hobbling off the mound in a losing cause, then has his reputation and baseball resume irreparably damaged by his very own cheatin' heart. And then, oddly enough, I find myself a believer in such a concept again.

10. As for today's Completely Random Baseball Card:


Because sometimes, it really is random.

Tito, get me a tissue

Ten free minutes for me, 10 free throwaway lines for you . . .


1. It's reassuring that the Red Sox took care of their most personnel business early in the offseason, signing Mike Lowell and Curt Schilling to reasonable, fair deals, and all but ensuring that next year's team will look a whole lot like the one that ended this season so triumphantly. But there is still one more matter that needs to be resolved in the next few weeks for this offseason to be considered a complete success: Theo Epstein must give Terry Francona, who has one year remaining on his contract, the lucrative extension he deserves. You know how I feel about Francona, and I trust those of you with clear eyes and at least a dollop of common sense feel the same: He's is the best Red Sox manager of this and perhaps any era. There is no one else I would rather have running this baseball team, and he deserves to be at the top of the managerial pay scale. I have little reason to believe this is the case right now, but if Theo and his underlings somehow actually subscribe to the Billy Beane theory that the importance of a manager is vastly overrated, then they are making a grievous, inexcusable error. Francona is necessary. They'd better realize as much.

2. Someone with an appreciation and knowledge of defensive line play, answer me this: Is Richard Seymour doing the kinds of things that don't show up on the stat sheet - commanding a double team, collapsing the pocket, making life easier for the linebackers, etc. - or is he, as the stat sheet suggests, doing nothing at all? Because right now, I'm beginning to think it's the latter, and I'm wondering what became of the game-altering beast who wreaked such havoc a few seasons ago.

3. Dr. Charles Steinberg, the Red Sox' Vice President of Schmaltz who is leaving the Red Sox for the Dodgers, always struck me as the Smithers to Larry Lucchino's Mr. Burns, and I have to assume he's to blame for such insidious adominations as the Red Sox Nation Presidency and that trainwreck dating show on NESN. Yet when Steinberg got it right, he really got it right, most notably regarding the pitch-perfect 2004 ring ceremony, and I suppose the fact that the Sox are more popular than ever has at least something to do with his marketing savvy. I won't miss him, but then, as a lifelong and eternally loyal Sox fan, I'm not who he was trying to appeal to anyway.

4. TATB's two favorite Celtics moments from the past week: 1) Ray Allen's improbable, delightful buzzer-beater at Charlotte, which happened only after Paul Pierce had the presence of mind to feed him the ball rather than heave up an ill-advised attempt of his own. Hey, he's learning. 2) Rajon Rondo's behind-the-back fake that deked Derek Fisher out of his tube socks, an impossibly athletic move that Rondo finished off with a layup. Eddie House was so pumped and jacked after Rondo's highlight-reel move that he comically ran onto the court and whacked him with a towel as play continued. Man, this is a fun team.

5. You know your perspective as a Red Sox fan has undergone a healthy change when you hear reports that the Yankees are in trade discussions with the Twins for ace Johan Santana, and your initial reaction is something along the lines of this: Huh. I guess we'll just have to keep Buchholz and Ellsbury then. Seriously, it's a refreshingly satisfying feeling to know that the Yankees are chasing the Sox now, and in order to get the 28-year-old two-time Cy Young winner, they'll have to give up some of that quality youth (hopefully Philip Hughes and Robinson Cano) that their ancient, thin roster so desperately needs.

6. I still don't think I was wrong in assuming the discovery of a 10-pound hairball in a person's stomach had something to do with Fred Smerlas.

7. Ideally, they'd both be back next season, and I'd say right now there's decent chance they both will be. But I'll ask the question anyway: If the Patriots can retain only one marquee-free-agent-to-be, who would you prefer it to be? Randy Moss or Asante Samuel? Discuss.

8. I think Bill Belichick is much more sentimental than his dour public persona would suggest - he's given Doug Flutie and Vinny Testaverde their moments in the sun in recent seasons for no reason other than it was a nice, respectful gesture to a couple of old pros - and it's going to be fascinating to see if his obvious admiration for Troy Brown affects the decision to add him to the active roster or not. I hate to say it, but at the moment, there just doesn't seem to be a spot for ol' No. 80 on the offensive side of the ball, especially with Jabar Gaffney being so dependable as a fourth receiver and Kelley Washington such a force on special teams. Though, come to think of it, the way things are going with the DBs lately, maybe Brown will be playing nickel back for this team by December.


9. It won't happen this year, but Tim Raines, one of the notable newbies on the 2008 Hall of Fame ballot revealed yesterday, deserves a plaque in Cooperstown. The man they called "Rock" didn't get his due for a couple of reasons: he played in the same era as the transcendent Rickey Henderson, he spent his finest seasons in the distant outpost of Montreal, and he was tarnished by a drug problem early in his career. But Raines was one of the most dynamic, efficient, and underrated offensive performers of the '80s, and he was a superior player to, among other Hall of Famers, Lou Brock. (Go ahead: look it up. Or better yet, read this.) Like I said, it will never happen on the first ballot, but I do hope one of these years, Raines gets his just reward. And his ex-teammate and mentor Andre Dawson belongs there with him.

10. As for today's Completely Random Baseball Card:



Anytime an ex-Maine Guide/recovering coke head writes a book, you know I'm readin'.

First and 10: Patriots 17, Bears 13

1. It was a far cry from flawless, what with the nine combined turnovers, including five by the Patriots, three in the red zone. But you know what? Our Guys won, and if there's anything we've learned during the Belichick/Dynasty Era, it's that a W is a W is a W, not matter how aesthetically unpleasant it may be. Besides, we tend to agree with Ron Borges's take this morning - there is something intrinsically appealing in watching two violent and relentless defenses do their thing. It was a fun and ultimately rewarding game to watch, mistakes, blunders, terrible calls, deflected passes and all. Best of all, the Patriots took the Bears' best shot, and for the first time this season against an elite foe, they didn't prove to have a glass chin; finally, they earned a notable victory against a team with a winning record, and if the season progresses in the manner we expect it to, it's entirely possible that the rematch of these two heavyweights will be scheduled Feb. 4 in Miami.


2. Farewell, Junior Seau. I admit I was a skeptic when you deferred your "graduation" to answer Bill Belichick's call - aging former superstars with a reputation for freelancing aren't often willing accomplices to the Patriot Way. Yet you played so remarkably well and fit in so seamlessly in your 11 games as a Patriot, damned if it didn't feel like you had been one of ours all along. Here's hoping that raucous, appreciative salute the Gillette Stadium crowd gave you as you departed gave you a measure of pride and joy to combat the agony of the moment.


3. Wow, was that Asante Samuel out there, or was it Ty Law in a braided wig? No. 22's performance Sunday was right out of ol' No. 24's highlight reel - three interceptions that showed off hands Chad Jackson would kill for, a surprisingly steady and stout presence in the running game (nine tackles), and an occasional, forgivable gamble that doesn't pay off. Samuel is a free agent after this season, and while he strikes me as a solid No. 2 cornerback rather than a legit No. 1, I hope the Patriots pay him, even as the price keeps rising. Quality corners are rare gems, and Samuel has proven to be at least that.

4. Brady's Vick-in-super-slo-mo fakeout of Brian Urlacher has to be one of my favorite random Patriots plays of all-time, and it was enhanced by the players' reaction to it: Brady busted out the completely out-of-character, animated "First Downnnn!" signal, while Urlacher's sheepish smile revealed his embarrassment beneath his facemask. And for what it's worth, after watching him brawl with my favorite team, I admire Urlacher even more now than I did before. Not only is he a force of nature on the field - no one that big should be that fast - but, at the risk of sounding like one of those Favre suck-ups, he's clearly enjoying himself out there. The guy is a joy to watch, for both talent and temperament.

5. He's still something of an enigma - how could he allow two sure receptions to ricochet skyward and become interceptions? - but it's worth noting that Ben Watson is quietly having a stellar statistical season. He's fourth among tight ends in receiving yards (599, ahead of such notables as Todd Heap and Alge Crumpler) and fifth in receptions (45). And best of all, he seems to be getting better and gaining more of Brady's trust with each passing week. He's becoming exactly what we hoped he'd be, even if he's not quite there yet.


6. Dr. Z has long been my second-favorite football-loving curmudgeon (after my dad), but I really lost a heap of respect for him after this irresponsible item in a recent column:

Let's take a look at all-pro DE/DT Richard Seymour. . . . I watched Seymour when the Pats lost to the Jets. Biggest dog you've ever seen on the field. No effort, no technique, I mean tight ends were steering him around like a VW. OK, maybe he was hurt. You never know with this club.

C'mon, now, what the hell is that? A vicious attack ("biggest dog you've ever seen") followed quickly by a half-assed concession that he "might" be hurt? Pathetic. Seymour, his elbow and leg injuries apparently healing, was again his havoc-wreaking self against the Bears. I hope Dr. Z took notice, though I suspect he was too busy watching Matlock re-runs and worrying about making it to the early-bird special in time to pay much attention.

7. I've got "Monday Night Football" on in the background here at the TATB home office (a.k.a. the couch). And while I might be mistaken, apparently Joe Theismann stopped admiring his reflection in his always-handy pocket mirror long enough to pay attention to tonight's game, because I swear I just heard him blabber these well-worn words: "That's just Brett trying to make a play there. You've really got to admire his competitiveness." So what gridiron miracle did Funny-Bone Favre pull off this time? Hail Mary touchdown pass to Driver, perhaps? C'mon, you know better than that . . . try and ill-advised, who-gives-$*&#& heave, followed by an interception, followed by the requisite excuse-making from the color commentator. I've really got no problem with Favre, who's likeable enough even as he fades into mediocrity. But I've gotta say, the incessant verbal backrubs really make me root for him to suck.


8. Hmmm . . . looks like Giants fans are starting to suspect that Eli Manning isn't and never will be the quarterbacking equal of his big brother. How soon before Stage Father Archie demands the Giants trade his Youngest Doofus Spawn to a more accommodating place . . . you know, such as sunny San Diego? Man, karma is a . . .

9. Other scattered thoughts from Week 12: Joey Harrington has a whole hell of a lot more class than Matt Millen and his bush-league Lions. How does that proven dope keep his job, anyway? . . . For all the hubbub surrounding his comments, Jim Mora Sr. was spot-on: Michael (Dirty Bird) Vick is a coach-killer . . . A buddy of mine who's a Cowboys fan to the point of raging insanity (he sucker-punched a sliding-glass door when Vinatieri flagged down Herschel) says Tony Romo's quarterbacking style reminds him of Jeff Garcia during his peak years in San Francisco. Um, lets hope T.O. doesn't find out about this comparison . . . Did you catch Marvin Harrison's little hissy fit against the Eagles? Looks like Ty Law's old punching bag is having a tough time coming to grips with being Reggie Wayne's caddy in Indy . . . Martin Gramatica in, Drunken Idiot Kicker out in Dallas. I still don't understand why the Tuna didn't ante up for Vinatieri . . . The six best teams at the moment: 1. San Diego (but Marty Schottenheimer, the Tom O'Brien of the NFL, will screw it up on the big stage.) 2. Baltimore (until McNair's inevitable injury) 3. Indy (Joseph Addai looks like an upgrade over Edgerrin James) 4. New England (and you know I'd bet on them to beat the three teams ahead of them when it matters) 5. Dallas (Romo has cured everything!) 6. Chicago (if only they had a better QB than Rex the Blunder Dog).

10. As for today's Completely Random Football Card:


Kevin Faulk broke Collins's team record for career receptions by a running back Sunday with his 262d, and I'm not going to tell you how old it made me feel to realize that my memories of Collins's rookie season are 25 freakin' years old. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go funnel some Metamucil with Dr. Z.