Monday, January 07, 2008

The Ultimate, All-Time, Wicked Awesome, New England Patriots Player Quiz (Part 2)


All right, listen up, ya bunch of Marys. (Or is it Sallys? I can never remember.) Way too many of you so-called Patriots fans griped that the first test was (sniff . . . sob . . . wahhhh!) too hard, that included too many old-school players and not enough of recent vintage.

You sniveled like Hines Ward after the Steelers' annual playoff gag job. It was not your proudest moment.

But don't fret, Marys. And Sallys. And Hineses. Your tears have not been shed in vain. Your whiny emails have been considered. We will make this easier and more modern. Below is part two of the quiz, featuring 25 players, all of whom played for the Patriots in the past 20 years. There are no Joe Kapps in the bunch. One of them is even Drew McQueen Bledsoe - that's one freebie right there. You do remember him, right?

I assume you know the rest of drill - we'll offer a written clue to the player's identity as well as a link to that player's profootballreference.com page to confirm (or deny) your guess. If you get all 25 right, we'll send you . . . well, nothing. But at least you can take comfort in knowing you got 22 more correct than Felger probably did.

So put on your thinking cap and your lucky throwback Clayton Weishuhn jersey, and let's go. Anything less than 20 correct this time, and you're doomed to a life listening to the Patriots' pregame show on an endless loop. Actually, that's a hell we wouldn't wish on anyone.

Hit it, Run . . .

* * *


1. A beast on special teams and in short-yardage situations, this object of "The Mooses' " affection spent 13 seasons with the Pats (1978-'90) and remains one of the franchise's all-time most popular players. His kid's not a bad linebacker, either.

* * *


2. One of the most electric athletes the Patriots have ever had, but too many of his highlights here happened off the field. Does the carved-up finger before the Super Bowl ring a bell? How about the tale of how he drove his car into a tree at halftime of a game he was playing in? To his credit, he turned his life around after he left New England, and finished with 851 catches in 17 seasons.

* * *


3. Chosen with the 13th pick in the '92 draft, he lasted just three seasons in New England and five in the NFL. Rumor has it he now works as a turnstile at the entrance of Gillette Stadium.

* * *


4. Third-round pick in 1990 after a storybook career at LSU, this occasional starter at QB had a pea-shooter of an arm that makes Chad Pennington's look like Jeff George's.

* * *


5. Pretty good cornerback on some pretty wretched early '90s teams, he was the player Lisa Olson was interviewing when Zeke Mowatt decided to, um, introduce himself.

* * *


6. Speedy showboat out of Michigan was named All-Pro in '92 as a kick returner, averaging 28.2 yards on 20 attempts, including a 100-yarder for a TD. But his inability/unwillingness to adhere to the playbook got his ticket punched out of New England, and he was out of the NFL after four seasons at age 25. A complete waste of talent.

* * *


7. Journeyman passer held the Pats' starting job for a couple of seasons in the early '90s, but his greatest accomplishment, on the field or off, was dating Lisa Guerrero in her prime. (She was then Lisa Coles, Patriots cheerleader and lousy-quarterback aficionado.)

* * *


8. A decent pass-catching tight end before Ben Coates seized his job, he made the Pro Bowl in '91 and '92, but was something less than a deep threat: in '91, he had 82 catches for 808 yards (9.9 ypc), then in '92, he hauled in 52 passes for 413 yards (7.9 ypc). I'm guessing Eugene Chung had a better time in the 40.

* * *


9. This former Bledsoe caddy is probably the only player Andy Gresh could get correct in this quiz, seeing that they do a radio show together every morning. Actually, come to think of it, I'm still not sure he'd get it.

* * *


10. Plodding running back, a first-round pick in '91, was stabbed in the chest outside a club in '93. Irving Fryar's wife was not considered a suspect.

* * *


11. Archaologists report this football dinosaur was tall with a strong arm, and he's fossilized proof that there was indeed Life Before Brady. Last seen getting sacked by his own kids at the Parenting With Dignity Summer Picnic after holding the Nerf ball too long.

* * *


12. This underachieving former receiver + pool cue = extremely agitated and vengeful Lawyer Milloy. Once missed a good chunk of a season with a hamstring injury, prompting Bill Parcells to note, "I came back from my heart-bypass surgery faster."

* * *


13. One of the Giants retreads Parcells brought with him to the Pats, this safety had five interceptions in two seasons in New England before losing his job to . . .

* * *


14. . . . this savvy but slow safety nicknamed "Big Play," who unfortunately tended to give up as many as he made. His end-zone interception of Mark Brunell in the '96 AFC Championship Game helped seal franchise's second trip to the Super Bowl, then he was promptly scorched by Brett Favre and Co. in the Packers' win. Oh, the cruel irony of that nickname.

* * *


15. A star running back at Ohio State, he evolved into a lumbering but sure-handed H-Back-type by the time he arrived in New England in time for the '96 Super Bowl run. Ran with what had to be the shortest, choppiest steps of any player in league history, but somehow it worked for him.

* * *


16. Ron Borges pegged him as "a slow dwarf" when Bobby Grier took him in the first round in '97. Turned out he was dead-on with that one. The only thing this Kansas State product mastered was the art of dancing like a jackass after making a tackle on a 10-yard gain on third-and-9.

* * *


17. Another blown pick in '97, this third-rounder out of Iowa had a 71-yard run in '98. To be honest, I don't remember him running for 71 yards in his Pats' career. Derrick Cullors and Corey Croom were better backs, and Marrio Grier was close.

* * *


18. Drafted in the first round the same season the Jaguars took Fred Taylor, I'm assuming the picture is hint enough as to this ill-fated running back's identity.

* * *


19. Ah, remember the days when the WEEI banshees used to yowl that this speedy, rocket-armed, completely clueless third-string quarterback should be playing ahead of Drew Bledsoe? Little did they know that it was the scrawny fourth stringer who would become the superstar.

* * *


20. Overhyped, fast but stiff linebacker probably peaked as a player in his freshman year at Ohio State. One of two first-round picks in '99 (Damien Woody was the other), he walked away from football before the '02 season after spending '01 on injured reserve with a neck injury. He always struck me as a guy whose talent was something of a curse; he never seemed to actually like the sport he was blessed to play.

* * *


21. Had 814 catches in a 17-year career - including five in a five-game cameo with the Pats in '98. (Full disclosure: I completely forgot he played here.)

* * *


22. A run-stuffing linebacker with a reputation as a lunatic, he was an important and respected elder on the franchise's first Super Bowl champion; his skull-rattling hit on the Colts' Jerome Pathon helped set the take-no-prisoners tone during that impossibly magical season.

* * *


23. A strapping 6-foot-4, 220-pound receiver with sprinter's speed, about the only time he was open was when he admitted he struggled to learn the playbook. Finished with just 12 catches in '02, his one season with the Pats and his last in the league.

* * *


24. Ridiculously touted as "the next Jerry Rice" when the Niners traded up to choose him in the first round out of UCLA in '95, he was too slow to become an elite receiver in the NFL and averaged just 12.6 yards per catch as a pro. Finished his nine-year career with the '03 Pats, making two catches in two games, including, improbably, a 31-yarder.

* * *


25. This fullback caught 826 passes in his NFL career, the most by a non-receiver in league history. Had 19 receptions for 106 yards with '03 Pats, then retired after 15 pro seasons following that championship season.

* * *

My apologies for the lack of posts the past week. Well . . . not really. I'm on vacation - my first extended one in about four years - and I've been taking it seriously, mostly by taking lots of naps. I've made the effort to stay the hell away from the computer other than to work on some freelance stuff. Recharged, I am hoping to post some thoughts on that lying sack of doughnuts Clemens, the Pats/Jags, and anything else that crosses my chick-pea of a mind on Friday, so be sure to check back in then, and thanks for tolerating the hiatus. - TATB Management

Labels:

|

Create a Link

<< Home