First and 10: Dolphins 21, Patriots 0

1. In the immediate aftermath of Sunday's debacle, I was annoyed (okay, pissed) at what I'd witnessed. I was convinced the Patriots were setting us up for a one-and-done cameo in the playoffs, and I had the urge to write a dynasty's obituary. Instead, I chose not to write at all, giving myself a few days to sort it all out and try to put the franchise's current state in proper perspective. Well, those days have obviously passed, and so here's where I think they stand: The Patriots, thinner depth-wise than in most years and crippled by more injuries than Colonel Potter's 4077th, are not an elite team anymore, just one of a number of good but flawed teams trying to prove it's more contender than pretender - just like everyone other than San Diego, in other words. The days of expecting every Sunday to bring certain victory are gone, and to be honest, I'm okay with that: a sports fan with a sense of entitlement is an unbecoming sight, and anyone who survive Rod Rust and Victor Kiam, among other eras and errors, knows a Patriots team with a 9-4 record is something not to be taken for granted. And yet, there's no denying that recent history has heightened our hopes, and in that regard it's disheartening to realize that a team that has so exceeded even our wildest expectations the last five seasons is suddenly trending in the wrong direction. Consider this: We like to hang our hats on the fact that the Belichick Patriots are traditionally beasts in December, that they always improve this time of year. But now we're looking at three straight weeks and four out of five in which they've played like a bumbling, second-tier NFC team. They're committing penalties like they're the Oakland Raiders in disguise, and they turn the ball over way too often for a team with grand aspirations. I hate to say it, but it seems they're getting worse, and I can't believe I'm saying that at this point in the season. Sure, maybe they'll find their mojo against lowly Houston, and maybe they'll pin down Jacksonville and Tennessee just the way the Jaguars and Titans did to the Colts, and maybe they'll enter the postseason with a little bit of momentum, the confidence of knowing they can beat anyone on a given Sunday, and wisdom of a three-time former champion. But right now, any dreams of a return trip to Miami in February have to be tempered by the reality of this gruesome first visit. The Patriots have a long way to go to get there again.

2. Yes, Deion Branch shot his way out of town, but only an idiot or Fred Smerlas (synonymous, I know) would dispute the fact that the Patriots would be a much better team at this hour had the Patriots found a way to satisfy dependable ol' No. 83. He's dearly missed, for unlike every receiver on this current roster, he could get open against quality cornerbacks and tight coverage consistently, and anyone who denies that isn't being honest.

3. Ellis Hobbs is so far in Belichick's doghouse, not even Doug Gabriel can see him. I'm curious what his transgression was, other than jumping around like a Chris Canty-esque fool every time he makes a marginally good play.

4. If Vince Wilfork is down for any significant length of time - and apparently, he was hobbling around on his redwood legs with a pronounced limp Monday - I fear the Patriots' run defense will begin to resemble that of 2002, when legendary windbag Steve Martin spent his Sundays flailing around and planning his next interview as ballcarrier after ballcarrier whizzed on by.

5. I refuse to believe the Patriots could do no better for a Josh Miller replacement at punter than Ken (But I'm A Magnificent Holder!) Walter. He's horrible, he was horrible the last time he was here, and there simply has to be a better alternative out there. His return makes no sense except from the perspective that they wanted a reliable holder for Stephen Gostkowski. Which, frankly, is an ass-backward way to choose a punter.

6. The more footage I saw of Maurice Jones-Drew, Fred Taylor and the rest of the Jaguars stampeding of the fraudulent Colts, the more annoyed I became that Laurence Maroney didn't get 25 carries, minimum, against Indy earlier this season. Ask me, Josh McDaniels has a long way to go to prove he's worthy of his OC title.

7. Matt Light is to Jason Taylor as Max Lane was to Reggie White. A human turnstile, a minor nuisance, a speed bump on the way to the quarterback. Man, what a whuppin'. Belichick wasn't exaggerating - Taylor might be the most dominating defender in the NFL this season. He was reminiscent of another Taylor, one who used to wear No. 56 for the Giants.

8. Speaking of Taylor, the Dolphins swiped him in the third round of the 1997 NFL Draft, 73d overall. The Patriots' picks up until that point: Canty, Brandon Mitchell, and Sedrick Shaw. Bust, journeyman, bust. Bobby Grier was something, wasn't he? (One more note: Mike Vrabel went later in that third round, to Pittsburgh . . . two picks after the Pats selected the long-forgotten Chris Carter.)

9. I miss the days when Tedy Bruschi made game-changing plays.

10. As for today's Completely Random Football Card:


Hey, look - it's a Patriots tight end who actually held onto the ball once in a while!

First and 10: What's the catch?

First and 10 while wondering if Tom Brady is pissed about the Branch deal . . .


1. I'm having a tough time coming to a logical conclusion regarding the Deion Branch soap opera, in part because the whole damn thing is so illogical. I don't understand why Branch and his agent never offered a counterproposal to the Patriots' two perfectly reasonable offers . . . unless Branch simply wanted to get the hell out of the organization. And if that's the case . . . why? He was playing with the best QB in the league on a championship-contending team, one set up well for the present and the future. There aren't many better situations in the league, so why was he so willing to smile, shrug, and napalm the friggin' bridge? And while Seattle gave him one more year and slightly more money than the Patriots' best offer, he has to know he's one torn ACL away from never seeing the end of that contract, that a long-term NFL deal isn't worth the paper it's printed on. And on the other side of the negotiating table, why did the Patriots ultimately "give in" and give him what he supposedly wanted? Do they really think they can win with a foursome of Reche Caldwell, Troy Brown, Clarence Weathers, and Carlos Pennywell at receiver? Do they think Branch, small and daring to the point of disregard for his body, has a short shelf-life? Do they think the first-round pick is better than fair value? Did they believe he'd hold out until Week 10 and that they'd might as well get something for him now? Are they so arrogant as to believe that Tom Brady, Richard Seymour and 51 Ordinary Joes would form a productive roster in their system? I desperately want answers, not that I'm expecting any: Belichick offered no insight today (there's a news flash) and Branch handled himself with class during his introductory press conference in Seattle. So I guess, until the truth and real motivations eventually leak into the newspapers, I'll have to settle for these few things I do know:

• Anyone who bashes Branch's ability is a fool. I've been hearing people (okay, mostly 'EEI mouthbreathers) claim his hands were questionable, he wasn't really an elite receiver, that he was injury-prone . . . and you know what? It's complete and total b.s., nothing more than the ignorant rantings of scorned nitwits. He was a fantastic player for the Patriots, one who rose to the occasion in the biggest moments (21 catches and one MVP in two Super Bowls, the game-opening 50-yard warning shot at Heinz Field in '04), a selfless teammate who put winning first (he was in tears at the end of the Denver playoff loss), and he was much tougher and more fearless than any sane receiver his size should dare to be. Deion Branch was everything we'd want a Patriot, while his departure was ugly, it's too bad he's not still one of ours. I'll miss him.

• It was shameful when Ty Law, for a long time the highest-paid DB in the NFL, bitched that he needed a new contract so he could feed his family. But when Branch says he needs to money to "take care of [his] kids," well, as a father myself and one who can't imagine what he has gone through, I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt.

• Getting ahead of myself here, but . . . a Pats-Seahawks Super Bowl would be something, wouldn't it?

2. I'd be an idiot to question Scott Pioli's team-building methods, but I must admit I do wonder why the Patriots don't try to sign their young, talented free-agents-to-be a year or two before they test the market. I'm fairly certain David Givens would still be here - and at a considerably lower hourly rate than he got from Tennessee - had he been offered a contract a year or two ago, and I fret that upcoming free agents Eugene Wilson, Daniel Graham, and Dan Koppen will be the next to get an offer from elsewhere that they can't refuse. It seems to me that once a player proves he is going to be the player you hoped he's be when you drafted him - or even exceed those expectations - it would save a lot of drama and maybe even a few dollars to renegotiate his first contract before it expires. The only downside, so far as I can tell, is the fear of signing someone long-term, then losing them to injury, but that strikes me as a risk worth taking.

3. One of the many benefits of having Rodney Harrison back is that Eugene Wilson also is back, if you follow. After Harrison blew out his knee in Pittsburgh and was lost for the rest of the '05 season, Wilson had to take on so much more responsibility. While he played adequately, he was no longer Eugene the Hitting Machine, the apparent budding star who thrived in Harrison's shadow. With Harrison back directing traffic, calling signals, and relieving Wilson of the burdens that weighed him down late last year, here's hoping he finds that ol' ball-hawking, Riddell-cracking form. I missed him almost as much as I missed Harrison.

4. From the midpoint of last season through this Sunday, Rosey Colvin has been exactly what the Patriots thought they were getting when they signed him to a rich free-agent deal before the 2003 season: a tireless, smart, havoc-wreaking, pass rusher. So this is what he looked like before he busted up his hip.

5. As talented as he is, it's a bit much to expect Ben Watson to make up for the lost production of Branch or Givens - let's see him catch more than four balls in a game before we send him off to Canton, okay, fellas? (Holy crap, I think I just channeled Parcells there.) However, I'm not saying I expect the Patriots offense to shrivel even though they lack a proven starting receiver. From what I saw of Laurence Maroney and a healthy and determined Corey Dillon Sunday, the Patriots are going to run the football with more effectiveness, authori-TAY, and balance than we've seen around here since the "New England, the Patriots, and We" heyday of Craig James and Tony Collins.

6. I'm curious if there's anything to the thinly-sourced rumors that the Patriots might be interested in disgruntled Raiders receiver Jerry Porter. His stats last season were remarkably similar to Branch's, but he seems considerably less graceful off the field than he is on it. Porter, already inactive, allegedly behaved like a jackass in the closing moments of their embarrassing loss to the Chargers, laughing as Aaron Brooks was sacked for something like the 37th time. The Patriots aren't afraid to take a flyer on talented so-called malcontents - Dillon and Bryan Cox come to mind - but Porter's apparent open disrespect for his coach and his team might convinced them he's not worth the time.

7. If Ellis Hobbs plays the rest of the season the way he played Sunday, he can start making plans to jet to Hawaii the week after the Super Bowl. He made the dangerous Lee Evans disappear like . . . (let's see, a Linda Evans joke would be lame here . . . so would a Copperfield/magician joke . . . god, I crack myself up . . . okay, play it straight . . . thinking of a lousy receiver now ) . . . um, Reche Caldwell.

8. My apologies to LaMont Jordan, but every time I see No. 34 take a handoff for the silver and black, I immediately begin having Bo Jackson flashbacks. (Too much Tecmo Bowl in my formative years, probably.) I can't imagine what effect this must have on Brian Bosworth - he must go all fetal and weepy every single time No. 34 gets the rock.

9. From the Damning With Faint Praise Dept.: Junior Seau has already made me forget all about Monty Beisel. Yup, faint praise. Now if he'd just quit jumping on every pile and acting like he made the initial hit, I might be cool with one of my favorite enemies being a Patriot and having the temerity to wear Willie Mac's digits. (I know, Seau had 'em first at 'SC, blah, blah. Hey, I'm wearing a 55 Pats jersey as I write this, and it ain't a Seau shirt, you dig? Could be a Don Blackmon, though.)

10. As for today's Completely Random Football Card:


I rarely give ESPN much credit in this space - as the alleged worldwide leader, you'd think they could do better than the likes of Skip Bayless and DJ Boo-Yeah, among many other irritants - but they deserve an attaboy for having the foresight to add Ron Jaworski and Dick Vermeil to their second Monday Night Football crew. I thought they were downright terrific during the Chargers-Raiders clunker. And in a major upset, Vermeil made it through the telecast without once bursting into tears.

Changing seasons

We've gathered, from our occasional radio gigs and various other cool/frightening correspondence with our readers, that TATB is perceived as primarily a baseball site. Not so. While baseball is our lifelong passion, a bond with our dad, and all those other saccharine-but-truthful sentiments that make the likes of Doris Kearns Goodwin all frisky, the truth is we're pretty freakin' crazy about football, too. As a matter of fact, the first post on this site, back in Nov. '04, was a rant about Drew Bledsoe that was expanded from an email I had sent a buddy, and the Nine Innings baseball column that is sort of the anchor of the site actually derived from our First and 10 Patriots column, which will be making its 2006 debut Tuesday. So like the rest of New England, while we focus on the Sox through the summer, our mind turns to the Patriots with the arrival of fall, particularly if the Sox, you know, suck. With that certainly being the case this September, consider this post the official notice that we are changing seasons. We're ready for some football . . . right after this transitional round of Name Association:

RED SOX
Mike Timlin: He was one of my favorite Sox during the best times in '03-'04, seemingly as steady and reliable off the field as he was on it. But I really wish he'd stop claiming he "made a great pitch, good location, they just hit it" blah blah blah during his late-season streak of Slocumbness. I'm not sure if he's in denial or he's making an excuse, but it's relentlessly annoying when someone I thought was accountable refused to acknowledge that he just threw another meatball with the game on the line.

Manny Ramirez: Here's hoping he stays healthy and motivated enough to remain in the lineup these final 20 or so games, because the hunch here is that it will be our last opportunity to see one of the greatest hitters of all time perform in a Red Sox uniform. You, me, and Gammons know the front office has always wanted to unload him. The late-season collapse, the mystery surrounding his injury, and the general manager's desire to rebuild will be their justification for finally doing so. And unless they get equal value - yeah, right - I'm going to be beyond pissed when it happens.

Josh Beckett: Of course I'm going to give this deal time, even as I try to wrap my head around the notion that "prospects" Anibal Sanchez and Hanley Ramirez have a better shot at the postseason than does the alleged contender that traded them. But for those Beckett bashers among you who are trying to figure out just who in the front office signed off on this trade, here's Seth Mnookin's take from his hugely (and deservedly) successful book, "Feeding the Monster":

"The Beckett trade appeared to be a fantastic one - young, proven arms are rare commodities in baseball - and the local media reacted accordingly . . . [But] it didn't take long before details about the trade began to emerge that made it seem less of an obvious steal. An MRI of Beckett's shoulder . . . revealed serious concerns about his rotator cuff. Assistant to the general manager Jed Hoyer, in constant consultation with Epstein, had been wary about making the trade, but Lucchino has been eager to get it done. "It was clear what was going on," said someone with an ownership stake in the team. "You had the people who were looking out for the long-term interests of the club advising to hold off, and the people who wanted to get the focus off the front-office fiasco pushing to make the deal."

Funny, Lucchino didn't seem too eager to take credit for it when Gerry Callahan asked him point-blank recently if this deal was his baby. What did Steinbrenner call him all those years ago? A chameleon? Huh. Interesting.

Kason Gabbard: For someone who was considered little more than minor-league roster filler - he spent two mediocre seasons in Portland and wasn't rated among the top 30 pitchers in the system entering 2006 - he sure did look like he belonged during his masterful seven shutout innings against Chicago. If he pitches well again tonight . . . well, I'll at least admit he's the pitcher Abe Alvarez was supposed to be, and maybe more.

Julian Tavarez: The Sox could do worse for a fifth starter next season. Of course, I sure as hell hope they do better.

Jonathan Papelbon: It's just a tired arm? Honest? (Exhaling). So I'm guessing the Japan trip is out of the question?

Javy Lopez: Well, guess we learned the hard way why Maddux couldn't stand him. Lazy and useless is no way to go through life, son.

PATRIOTS
Junior Seau: I've never been much of a Seau fan - he became hugely overrated once his amazing athleticism could no longer make up for his lack of discipline - but I'm glad he's a Patriot. Know why? Because it's been absolutely delightful to listen to the 'EEI hypocrites try and pretend that they haven't mercilessly ripped the guy for years. Who knew men so bloated could backpedal faster than a young Mike Haynes?

Laurence Maroney: Not a bad debut, eh? He's so ridiculously talented - and apparently such a deferential, egoless kid - that the proud Corey Dillon is willing to split the carries and play the role of mentor. A mighty running back tandem! Who da thunk it?

Kevin Faulk: For a player with a habit of fumbling at the most inopportune times, he sure does have great hands. (Dammit, do I ever make sense?)

Deion Branch: The conventional wisdom among Pats fans seemed to be that Branch was getting bad advice, that he's a levelheaded kid who was being manipulated by an agent with an agenda, and he'd come to his senses and accept the Patriots' perfectly fair offer (3 years, $17 million) once he realized the season would go on without him. But now? Now I'm thinking Branch is just one more lunatic diva of a wide receiver, a T.O. wannabe. There's simply no other explanation for the way he's allowed his agent to try and shoot his way out of Foxboro.

Doug Gabriel: Is it wishful thinking to believe that the talented but underutilized ex-Raider will be the right player at the right place at the right time? Yeah, probably. If he doesn't do the job and Branch doesn't come to his senses, the Pats may be starting Donald Hayes and Bert Emanuel by Week 6.

Gil Santos: His booming pipes are still among the most distinctive in the biz. ("Brady back to pass . . . down the middle . . . "CAUGHT! . . . TROY BROWN!") But - how can I say this delicately? - he and Gino could use a little more help from the spotter in identifying players. It's one thing to accidentally confuse Reche Caldwell (the new No. 87) with David Givens (the former No. 87), especially in the season opener. I just worry that one of these days, he's going to have Brady completing a pass to Randy Vataha, and neither he nor Gino will catch the mistake.

ASSORTED OTHER IDOLS AND IDIOTS
Hanley Ramirez: He's been predictably inconsistent, but having accumulated 59 extra-base hits, 46 steals, 107 runs, while batting .286, there is no debating that he has exceeded all expectations in his rookie season. He sure looks like a superstar in the making. Anyone else care to argue that Dustin Pedroia is a better prospect? Anyone? Bueller? C'mon, you were out there this spring . . .

Jermaine Dye: Can you believe the Royals once had a Dye-Johnny Damon-Carlos Beltran outfield? Do they have anything to show for trading three of the most valuable players in baseball this season? No, Mark Teahen does not count.

Daunte Culpepper: Trust me when I say I would have written this before his gruesome two-pick fourth quarter Thursday: He is the most overrated quarterback of the past dozen years, a player who put up impressive numbers because he could heave the ball deep to Randy Moss when all else failed. His carelessness is going to drive Nick Saban crazy. Or crazier.

Drew Bledsoe: He's the second-best quarterback in Patriots history, he was crucial in the rejuvenation of the franchise, and it's with admiration that I consider him the most normal star athlete I've ever encountered. But isn't it an indictment of his dedication that he's still making the same stone-skulled mistakes that he made in '93? The ending of last night's Dallas-Jacksonville game couldn't have been more predictable.

Peyton Manning: If he delivered in big games as often as he does in his numerous funny commercials, he might have some accomplishments that actually justify his reputation. (Friend of TATB Tom Curran puts it much better here.)

Terrell Owens: If you think there is any chance of this T.O./Tuna/Bledsoe marriage actually working, let me suggest that you read Tom Friend's stellar piece in the recent ESPN Magazine. T.O. is a petulant, misguided teenager, and shockingly, Parcells is not exactly willing to play the role of guidance counselor. This is going to be as ugly as a Jerry Jones facelift, people.

Adam Vinatieri: The sentimental fan in me already misses him. But I'm not so sure the Patriots will, and anyone who suggests he'll mean two or more victories to the Colts this season is either an imbecile, Peter King, or both.

As for today's Completely Random Baseball Card:


In 11 major-league seasons prior to 2006, Kevin Jarvis won 34 games, lost 47, had an ERA of 5.97 . . . and made nearly $10 million. Frankly, I'm not sure if this is an example of why this is a great country, or an example of what is wrong with it.

Take 10

Ten free minutes for me, 10 free half-formed thoughts for you . . .


1. I'm not a skilled enough writer to approach such topics without sounding trite and melodramatic, so I'll keep it brief: David Ortiz is the best thing ever to happen to the Boston Red Sox, and I cannot articulate the sadness I would feel if his heart scare turns out to be something more serious than the exhausting effects of carrying this baseball team all summer. Be well, Papi.

2. Deion Branch needs the Patriots if he's ever going to cash in on the payday he desires. And despite what the Smerlases of the world might tell you, the Patriots need Deion Branch. Which is why they'll get this thing worked out before the season's opening kickoff.

3. You know a player created a lasting legacy when he spends nearly three times as many years with the Jets as he does the Patriots, and New England fans still admire him unconditionally anyway. If this is the end, thanks for those three wonderful seasons, Curtis Martin, and we'll see you in Canton. You left long ago, but you'll always be one of New England's own.

4. Carl Pavano could drive his Porsche off the Brooklyn Bridge, make a public proclamation that Derek Jeter smells way better than Alyssa Milano ever did, and sever his right arm off with a hacksaw just for the sport of it, and I'd still wonder if the Yankees might consider taking Matt Clement for him in straight-up swap of overpaid enigmas.

5. And in a related note, players I hope will turn in their Red Sox gear for good come the conclusion of Game 162: Clement, Mark Loretta, Javy Lopez, Doug Mirabelli, Coco Crisp, Javy Lopez, Mike Lowell, Julian Tavarez, Javy Lopez, Jermaine Van Buren, Gabe Kapler, Javy Lopez, Javy Lopez, Javy Lopez, and Javier Lopez. (Temporarily spared for sentimental reasons: Keith Foulke, Mike Timlin, and Trot Nixon.)

6. Back in his New England days a decade ago, do you think Bill Parcells ever thought there'd come a time when Terry Glenn was the more professional, mature and mentally stable of his starting receivers? She's come a long way, baby.

7. Seems to me there are few things more aggravating to a Boston sports fan than a smug, ill-informed contrarian with a pulpit. (And somewhere, Gary Tanguay is disagreeing with me just for the hell of it.)

8. The Bruins rarely get much more than a passing mention in this space, but between the rave reviews of new boss Peter Chiarelli's roster-building skills and the cool news that longtime Friend of TATB Fluto Shinzawa is now the pointman on the beat for the Globe, I haven't looked this forward to the dropping of the puck since Neely was in his prime.

9. Seems to me the same people who were breathlessly comparing Al Jefferson to Elton Brand just a year ago are now the same fickle folks pushing the Celtics to include him in any reasonable deal for a veteran. Give him time, people - sophomore struggles and aching ankle aside, he's still only 21.

10. As for today's Completely Random Baseball Card:


There is absolutely no way the Sox should permit Jonathan Papelbon to pitch for the MLB All-Star team that will tour Japan after the season. I may be mistaken, but the last Sox closer to go on this trip was Tom Gordon in '98. You might recall he tweaked his elbow during the tour, and was a lost cause in '99. The Sox should write Papelbon a check for $100,000 - the coin he'd make for participating, and admittedly, the reason he wants to go - and tell him to get some R-and-R. After this grind of a rookie season - it must be grueling, being a one-man bullpen - it's the best thing for him and the ball club.