My three sons

Quick NFL thoughts before a Super Bowl I couldn't be more apathetic about . . .
I probably shouldn't admit this, but ESPN's feature this morning on the three Manning boys (including the eldest, Cooper, who had to give up football after high school due to a neck problem) was nothing less than endearing. It almost made me want to root for the big goof today. (Almost, I said.) The funniest part of the feature came when some old home movies showed Peyton, who must have been about 7, crying and whining that Cooper was hitting him too hard. It's like he was born to play for Bill Polian.

There's no doubt it's been the Year of the Gator. The University of Florida football and men's basketball teams are reigning national champions, David Eckstein - the grittiest, guttiest, Gator alumni of them all! - blooped and dinked his way to the World Series MVP award, and lest we forget, Reche Caldwell, Jabar Gaffney, Chad Jackson and Kelvin Kight gave the Patriots the greatest receiving quartet in league history. (Or maybe not.) Our point here? Rex Grossman is, as you probably know, a Gainesville grad, which is just about the most logical reason I can come up with for thinking the Bears have a chance today.

All right, I'll admit it: I'm looking forward to watching Prince at halftime, and not solely because I'm rooting for a wardrobe malfunction from one of his famously smokin' hot backup singers. (Hey, before you mock me or him, remember this is the guy who "mentored" Carmen Electra, Sheena Easton, Apollonia, and the legendary Vanity, who made Halle Berry look like Booger McFarland. Now that's a talented roster.) Oh, the little purple fella (wow, that doesn't read quite right) might be a freak who's purified himself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka one too many times, but he's a ridiculously talented freak, and I'm guessing he'll remind the skeptics of that today.

Michael Irvin, a Hall of Famer? It's as obvious as one of his gaudy suits. Bruce Matthews? A mortal lock. Thurman Thomas? Well, of course the heart of the K-Gun Bills belongs in Canton, and I say Andre Reed should be there alongside him. Roger Wehrli? A five-time All-Pro and an All-Decade Team selection in the '70s certainly has a worthy resume, though I'd have voted for Derrick Thomas and Andre Tippett (an All-Decade pick in the '80s) over him. Charlie Sanders? Hell, he could start for the Lions today. And Gene Hickerson . . . uh . . . um . . . hmmm . . . (furiously searching Google) . . . oh, all right, I can't say I've ever heard of the guy. Why do I get the feeling Dr. Z was behind getting this old timer into the Hall 33 years after his career ended? Geezers unite!

I'm not saying there are ulterior motives in action here, but anyone who suggests Ted Johnson suffered all 30 of his concussions while playing for Bill Belichick is in dire need of a brain scan themselves.

As is their tradition on Super Bowl Sunday, ESPN2 has been running a marathon of the NFL Films highlight videos from each Super Bowl. (How many Polo shirts does Steve Sabol have, anyway? I think he owns more than Ralph Lauren himself.) Naturally, I had to watch the Pats-Rams "Tonight A Dynasty Is Born!" film from beginning to end, but to be honest, I didn't enjoy it as much as I normally would. I guess the joy of that game is tempered by the melancholy sense that the Patriots should be playing in this one, too; it served as a reminder of what was lost in the second half of the Indy game. Ah, well, I suppose we should get over it. Anyway, a couple of scattered thoughts from our latest viewing of XXXVI: Tom Brady was so much more animated then than he is now. He was jumping around like the spawn of Pete Carroll after every big play. Now, he's more like Belichick, all business . . . It never fails to astound me how little top-notch talent there was on that Patriots team. The likes of J.R. Redmond, Jermaine Wiggins, and Tebucky Jones played significant roles in that post season. It would be easy to argue that winning it all with that roster was the single-best one-season coaching job in league history . . . You want an unsung hero during this dynastic run? I offer you David Patten. Seems like he caught a touchdown pass in every big game . . . That idiot No. 33 on the Rams (a quick search tells me his name is Justin Watson) cracks me up every time: "I like our chances! I LIKE our chances!" Sure, pal . . . Seems like a long time ago that Kurt Warner was, you know, good . . . Man, Bob Kraft never goes for subtle understatement when a cheeseball line is handy: "Today, we are all Patriots!" I'm guessing Mike Martz probably disputed that sentiment . . . I never fail to smile at Antowain Smith's high-stepping sprint onto the field after Vinatieri's field goal. I think that's the fastest he ever ran . . . Man, I miss that Super Bowl feeling.

So how's it going to go? Ideally, Brian Urlacher will knock Peyton silly like mean old Cooper used to, and Jim Sorgi will get three-plus quarters to introduce himself to the world. Assuming that doesn't happen, I can't really come up with one logical scenario in which Chicago wins this game. Oh, I suppose Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson could run for a combined 175 yards, and Manning could remember it's his nature to gag in the biggest moments, and Charles Tillman, Nathan Vasher and Urlacher could render Marvin Harrison, Reggie Wayne and Dallas Clark invisible, and Devin Hester could (and probably will) gash Indy's porous special teams, and Tank Johnson could shoot Bob Sanders during pregame warmups, and Rex Grossman could get through the entire game without doing all those stupid things Rex Grossman does. But I can't help but think Chicago needs just about all of those things to happen to have chance, and that's a whole helluva lot to ask against a team as talented as Indy. The heart says Chicago, 31-30, but the brain overrules: Peyton and the Ponies, 38-13.

If the Colts have to win this thing, I do hope it comes via Adam Vinatieri's right foot in the final seconds. Sure, it's just plain strange to see our ol' No. 4 so content wearing our rival's laundry, and I wish he wasn't so damn satisfied about being a Colt. But one more moment for the ages in a Super Bowl would make him a mortal lock for the Hall of Fame, and those crusty old fools who decide such things need all the evidence they can get. And besides, no matter the colors he's wearing now, history will always remember him as a Patriot.

As for today's Completely Random Football Cards:




If you didn't get a little verklempt watching Armen Keteyian's pregame piece on Walter Payton and Brian Piccolo, then you don't have a soul, my friend. Seven years after his death, the footage of a shockingly frail Payton at the press conference in which he revealed his illness still floods my eyes every time. I only hope my own son grows up to be the man Jarrett Payton seemed to be that day.

First and 10: Sunset on a season

1. It was natural, in the mournful aftermath of the Patriots' loss to the Colts, to be tempted to put the franchise's days as an NFL power in the past tense. We longed for the not-so-long-ago days when Tom Brady was infallible and Peyton Manning could be counted on to swallow his chin strap in the clutch. We lamented a lost opportunity, and wondered, with a supersized dose of self-pity, if it would ever be so good again. Hey, it was devastating loss. We were appropriately devastated. But now that the defeat has had a week to fade farther away in the rear-view mirror, our perspective is again one of logic more than emotion. And while we still ache from a game that was two minutes too long, we can't help but feel optimistic about the Patriots and the direction in which they are headed. Oh, sure, some are eager to declare the dynasty dead, and while two years without a Super Bowl is absolutely a step back given what they accomplished in previous seasons, I believe with some minor tinkering this team will rise again before they fall. Think about it: Belichick is still here and still hungry. Brady is in his prime. Laurence Maroney looks like a dynamic ballcarrier. They are strong in the trenches on both sides of the ball and deep in the defensive backfield. We all know they need an impact linebacker and a wide receiver or two, but with two first-round picks and a few dollars to spend, those holes can and will be plugged. Further, we must applaud them for doing what was thought to be impossible during this salary cap era - they have replenished their talent base without sliding down the standings. The Patriots are a younger team now than they were in 2001, and if you take a look at some of the names on the roster that humbled The Greatest Show On Turf that glorious night, you'll realize they're a far more skilled team too. Contrary to current public opinion, they are not going the way of their closest peers in NFL history, the dynastic Cowboys of the '90s, who failed to surround its Hall of Fame core with a quality supporting cast once free agency took its toll. (And we won't even get into the impact of Barry Switzer's involvement.) The Patriots are not beginning a slow descent into mediocrity; they went 12-4 and lost in the conference championship game undergoing personnel transitions that would constitute a full-fledged rebuilding job for most franchises. That is an astonishing feat, and even with the abrupt ending, it was a hell of a season. Good health willing, there are even better seasons ahead.

2. It's trendy, particularly among the suddenly giddy Belichick Bashers, to say that Tony Dungy outcoached the Hoodied One in the second half, and maybe there's some truth there; even the likes of Andy Reid and Herm Edwards must be tempted to question the inept way the Patriots (mis)managed their timeouts in the final two minutes. But to say the Colts made a shrewd adjustment when they decided to stop throwing deep to Reggie Wayne and Marvin Harrison and instead started targeting the tight ends and running backs over the middle is to ignore the fact that everyone who watched the Patriots this season wondered why the Colts didn't do this sooner. Even a know-nothing bagpipe like Glenn Ordway knew Dallas Clark would be a tough cover for the Patriots' linebackers, who developed a collective case of rigamortis (oh, right . . . cramps) as the season progressed. The second half certainly was hideous for the Patriots; I shudder to think how many points Peyton and the Ponies might have produced had they been shrewd enough to attack the Patriots' glaring weakness from the start.

3. Obviously, an agile linebacker or two should be atop Belichick's grocery list in the offseason. Chicago's Lance Briggs and Baltimore's Adalius Thomas are the notable names in free agency, and while both are accomplished players (Thomas strikes me as a Willie McGinest clone), I'm not going to pretend to know how either would fit into the Patriots' complex scheme. Another intriguing possibility is Buffalo's London Fletcher-Baker, a fireplug whom Belichick has gone out of his way to compliment this season. I wonder if he's setting the stage to try to acquire him; it reminds me of the praise Belichick heaped on Rosey Colvin the season before he lured him to New England. I'd also like to believe the mock drafts are on the money and the Patriots will spend one of their first-round picks on Ole Miss's Patrick Willis. He can run, played his heart out for a hopeless team, says he's more suited to playing the 4-3, and has the maturity Belichick desires. In other words, he just what they need . . . presuming he fits their system, of course.

4. It's all well and good that the NFL kinda-sorta admitted it's mistake on the phantom Ellis Hobbs "face-guarding" call, but I'm still waiting for an explanation why no flag was thrown when Reche Caldwell was fondled, mugged, and mutilated in the end zone on a crucial fourth-quarter fade pattern. Had that happened to one of the Colts' delicate flowers, that nut Bill Polian would have stormed the NFL offices in a tank.

5. All right, Asante Samuel, I'm a believer. After the Law-like job you did on Marvin (Please Don't Touch Me!) Harrison, you deserve the title of Shutdown Corner, and the appropriate eight-figure signing bonus that comes with it. Here's hoping you're all right with becoming acquainted with another title: Franchise Player.

6. Samuel is obviously the priority among the free agents, but I do hope the Patriots find a way to retain Daniel Graham. Not only is he a devastating blocker and a respected voice in the locker room, but in my opinion he's the best all-around tight end on the roster by a Wilfork-wide margin. Ben Watson had a decent season numbers-wise, but the inconsistency of his hands and route-running was maddening, and I got the sense Brady's faith in him shriveled as the season progressed. Graham, meanwhile, made crucial catches in both the San Diego and Indy games, receptions I'm not sure Watson would have made since he struggles to hang on to any throw that doesn't hit him between the 8 and the 4 on his jersey.

7. So, has anyone heard from all the would-be personnel wizards who claimed the loss of Adam Vinatieri would cost the Patriots at least one game, if not two? The reality is that the greatest clutch kicker in NFL history was not missed for one moment this season, and for that it's time to give Stephen Gostkowski his due: after some early hiccups, the kid ultimately handled every challenge during a fine rookie season. Like his decorated predecessor, he saved his best moments for the playoffs, hitting all eight of his field goal attempts, including a 43-yarder that gave the Patriots a short-lived 34-31 lead against the Colts. And his final kickoff was a bomb - had the Colts not marched 80 yards down the field for the victory, he'd be getting his just due as an unsung hero.

8. That certain whinnying talk-radio metrosexual who claims that Rashad Baker's walk-on role in the Indy game is proof that the Patriots lacked roster depth? He's a lotion-slathered idiot. Anyone with a shred of perspective realizes Baker wouldn't be anywhere near the field if Harrison, Wilson, Artrell Hawkins, Tebucky Jones, Don Davis, and perhaps even Mel Mitchell hadn't been hurt. Including James Sanders and versatile Chad Scott, Baker is the Patriots' sixth-string safety at best. Quick, tell me one other team that is even four-deep at the position. Hell, the Colts' season-long defensive problems were in large part due to injuries to starting safeties Bob Sanders and Mike Doss - they simply had no one capable of replacing their best two guys. If anything, it's a nod to the Belichick and Scott Pioli's roster-building skills that they had one of the elite defenses in the league while playing without Harrison and Wilson almost the entire season.

9. Because we're shaking off our Patriots hangover and slowly transitioning back into baseball mode here at TATB headquarters, I suppose we should weigh in on the rumor of the day, that the Sox are in "high-level" negotiations with the Rockies to acquire first baseman Todd Helton. Our take: Good god, please let this be fiction. Helton is 33, has a bad back, is coming off a season in which he hit 15 homers with a career-low .476 slugging percentage playing half his games at Coors Field, and is due $90.1 million over the next six seasons. Even if the Rockies pick up half of the contract and take Matt Clement off the Sox's hands, I fail to see what the appeal is. Sure, he was a premier hitter not so long ago, but at this point, Helton's a line-drive hitter who sees a lot of pitches and plays a fine first base. Sounds like John Olerud circa 2005 to me. Pass, Theo.

10. As for today's Completely Random Football Card:



Gee, think the Fridge will be the subject of any "Where Are They Now?" stories the next two weeks?

TATB Live: Colts at Patriots

Yup, TATB is in the house, glued to the couch for the next four hours in the name of blogging duty, and let me tell you, I'm jacked and pumped like Pete Carroll at a Trojan pep rally. I haven't anticipated a regular season game like this since . . . well, since the Colts-Pats game last year. And I like their chances a whole lot better this time around against Peyton and the Ponies. Having Rodney Harrison and Richard Seymour in the lineup tends to swell your confidence.

So how's it gonna go? Let me put it this way - the '72 Dolphins will be popping some champagne corks around midnight tonight. I think the Patriots' obvious plan of attack will be the reality - they'll pound Laurence Maroney and Corey Dillon (both of whom basically enjoyed a bye week against Minnesota) 40-something times against the porous Indy run defense, which is allowing 5.4 yards per carry. I think Ben Watson will build on last week's breakout performance, and I think at least one Manning pass will find it's way into the hands of Asante Samuel (playing the Ty Law role), and I think Adam Vinatieri's return will be little more than a footnote. The pick: Patriots, 34-17.

Some quickie pregame notes/observations:

• NBC just showed Marvin Harrison running various patterns, including a couple of slants over the middle. It's worth noting that he does not practice turtleing like a frightened schoolgirl during warmups. It just comes naturally.

• On the ESPN pregame show, Jaws and The Players Hate Their Coach took the Colts, while Ditka, You're With Me Leather, and It Was My Buddy's Crackpipe, Officer took the Pats. All in all, I'd rather have Jaworski on our side. He's the best, and it makes me slightly nervous that he's not in the Pats' corner.

• Eugene Wilson, Stephen Neal, and Daniel Graham are among the Patriots' inactives, while safety Bob Sanders is apparently playing for the Colts. Not bad considering each team had 53 players listed as questionable midweek, but I really wish Graham was playing - he makes such a difference in the running game.

• Pink looks like she's auditioning for the Tim Curry role in "Rocky Horror Picture Show 2006." Let's play the game already . . .

FIRST QUARTER
Pats start with the ball . . . and it looks like they're planning on keeping it for a while. After Dillon was stopped for a two-yard loss on the first play from scrimmage, the Pats have methodically advanced to midfield, with three strong runs from Dillon and two from Maroney . . .

. . . and just as I write that last sentence, Brady throws an ill-advised pick on deep pass into the end zone, and the drive stalls. Crap, I should have known I'd jinx 'em. It really would have been nice to get some points on that first drive.

John Mellancamp is doing a very effective job of convincing me to never plant my ass in a Chevy ever again. Who knew Mr. Farm Aid was such a sellout? Looks like they've changed the visual from the unbelievably tasteless Hurricane Katrina/Vietnam footage to some shots of pickup trucks and wheat fields and other tame Midwestern Americana. Good call there. Whoever came up with that original commercial should have been reassigned to the mailroom.

The Colts come out in a no-huddle, and after Manning tosses a pair of incompletions, he makes perhaps the first improvised play of his career, rolling out to the left and, just as he's clobbered by Rosey Colvin, unleashing a 44-yard bomb down the middle to Harrison. Worse, Rodney Harrison stays on the ground when everyone else gets up. Looks like a shoulder injury. So much for overconfidence.

And after one more first down, Manning hits Harrison for an eight-yard TD on a slant pattern, and as Al Michaels puts it, "First blood drawn by the Colts." It's 7-0, Indy, and while my confidence remains intact, I wish Indy's had been taken down a few notches with a stalled first drive.

The bleepin' Mellancamp is airing during every commercial break - I think it's four and counting. I might end up buying a Ford truck out of spite before the first half is over.

Troy Brown catches a short pass inside the Patriots 40, flips the ball to the official . . . and is called for taunting, a 15-yard penalty. I can say with a great degree of confidence that in, what, the 14 years we've been watching Brown, we've never seen him taunt anyone. In a related note, the official looks suspiciously like Archie Manning.

Reche Caldwell with a drop on 2d and 8. He's also already got an offensive pass interference penalty tonight. Someone needs to tell him to get his damn skeeter eyeballs back into their sockets and relax.

On the positive side, it seems the Patriots will be able to move the ball at will. Maroney and Dillon have Wilfork-sized holes to run through and Doug Gabriel already has one nice catch and run, getting a first down on 3rd and 20. Even on 4th and 3 inside the Colts 20, the Pats have the confidence/wisdom to go for it and gain the first down on a Brady to Kevin Faulk pass. It's 1st and goal at the 5 as the first quarter passes in a blur.

SECOND QUARTER
Two Dillon carries and five yards later, and it's all tied at 7. It's worth noting that much of Dillon's yardage is coming over the right guard. I'm not sure who's filling in for Steve Neal (perhaps it's Billy Yates, previously known as the World's Highest-Paid Practice Squad Player) but he's kicking some Colt butt.

Uh-oh. Chad Scott has moved to safety, Ellis Hobbs is in at corner, and Rodney Harrison is in the locker room. Andrea Kremer tells us that Harrison has a right arm injury and that his return is probable. Could be worse, I suppose, but I'm pretty sure this secretive Patriots regime would tell us Hart Lee Dykes's return is probable at this point.

Manning is under siege and handling it with poise, throwing over the top of the rush to find Reggie Wayne for 16 yards and Dallas Clark down the middle for another decent gain . . . and then, under no rush, he rolls left and hits Wayne for 44 yards to the Patriots 1. Joseph Addai takes it into the end zone on the next play, and the Colts go up, 14-7. Can you say shootout?

Here's our second Manning commercial of the night - the one where he's disguised as Fred Smerlas and pimping cell phones. I'll admit that he's pretty good in most of his 18,839 commercials, particularly the MasterCard ones. I still think he looks like the spawn of Beavis and Butthead, though.

John Madden just compared Maroney to Clinton Portis. Pretty good company there, though I think Our Guy is a little bigger and runs a little tougher and is considerably less insane. I always tell people he reminds me of Fred Taylor back when he broke in with the Jaguars, you know, before he was so tragically stricken with leprosy. Just an ideal combination of speed and power. Maroney's had at least five carries in a row by the way, all for nice chunks of yardage, and the Pats are closing in on the Indy 20.


Third and 4, Brady hits Troy Brown on a quick out pattern for a first down, and I cannot think of a more appropriate way for him to become the all-time leading receiver in Patriots history, besting the great Stanley Morgan's record. Brown might be the greatest role player in the history of Boston sports, and I feel privilege to have watched him all these years.

Dillon, looking refreshed after his vacation in Minnesota last weekend, plows in from the 4, and we're tied again, 14-14. A three-and-out by Indy would be wonderful right about now . . .

. . . especially since Indy gets the ball at the Pats 40, thanks to a streak up the right sideline by Terrence Wilkins, who ran over Stephen Gostkowski (he ain't the tackler he predecessor was, apparently) and would have had a touchdown if not for the remarkable hustle of defensive tackle Mike Wright, who somehow gained ground on him and tripped him from behind.

Still no Rodney Harrison, and apparently Manning has noticed - on the first play after the kickoff, he launches a missile toward Marvin Harrison inside the Pats 10. Chad Scott, who is struggling at safety after playing so well at corner, obliges with a pass interference penalty, and Indy is on the verge again. Harrison must be having his arm amputated to keep him out of this game.

The Pats back Indy into a 3rd and 17 thanks to a sack by the rejuvenated Junior Seau, but Samuel is called for holding on a floater toward Harrison in the end zone, and the Colts get a second life as the 2 minute warning arrives. I'm feeling queasy . . .

. . . but somehow Indy is held to a Vinatieri field goal, and at this point a 17-14 deficit feels like a moral victory.

I'm thinking this might be the play that your buddies are rehashing at the office tomorrow: Fourth and 1 at midfield, 1:02 remaining, and the Patriots go for it . . . and on a quarterback sneak in which Brady appears to be stopped, one official comes charging in and immediately signals first down. Upon first glance, it appears to be a blantantly bad call, and because it's within 2 minutes, the booth reviews it. It might not be an exaggeration to suggest the game's outcome could hang in the balance of this review.

Whew. The play stands. Curiously, the official looks quite a bit like Jonathan Kraft. The Pats can't afford to waste this gift.

Brady threads a beauty through three defenders to Ben Watson at the 30. Unfortunately, he's borrowing Mark Blount's hands for the evening, and it drops harmlessly to the ground. Big Ben 2K6, still the enigma.

Third and 6 at the Indy 48, Dwight Freeney has Brady in his mitts, but apparently having to forgot how to sack a quarterback this season (he has 1/2 sack, and that is not a typo), he lets him slip away. Brady promptly hits Brown for the first down.

Consider that gift wasted. Brady goes deep to a triple-teamed and well-covered Watson, the oh-so-slightly overthrown pass deflects off his aluminum left hand, and Bob Sanders comes away with it at the 3. Looks like we'll be going into the break with a three-point deficit. Taking inventory: Thus far, their stud QB is outplaying our stud QB, Rodney Harrison is down to three limbs, and the Pats' hopes hinge on Belichick making his usual shrewd halftime adjustments. Yeah, I'd say it's living up to the hype so far.

(This is coming down to Vinatieri, isn't it? Damn, I'd hate for the jackals to be right.)

THIRD QUARTER
Andrea Kremer just reported that Tony Dungy said the Patriots know they need to score a lot and because of that, Tom Brady is pressing. I'd be pissed if it didn't look like he was correct.

Do the Colts even carry a punter? Is it still Rohn Stark? I thought we were about to find out, but after Ellis Hobbs makes a spectacular leap to bust up a deep pass in the end zone on 3rd and 8, Mike Vrabel is called for a phantom hands to the face call, and Indy gets five yards and a first down. I suppose it's not good form to bitch about the refs, but that was a bad call. Friggin' Indy pansy receivers.

The Pats somehow hold 'em again, and Vinatieri trots out to kick a 37-yarder. Automatic, right? Nope, wide right. Told ya the guy was nothing but a dome kicker. It goes without saying that the Pats need to take advantage of this.

And here we are, at another crossroads: On the first play, Dillon coughs up the ball as he hits the ground, Raheem Brock falls on it, Matt Light falls on him, and Brock gets up and runs the ball into the end zone anyway. Can you say replay? After a Patriots challenge and the official's extended stint under the replay hood, the call is fumble, Indy's ball at the Pats 31. The Patriots have turned the ball over three times to Indy's zero. They're not going to win if they don't improve the turnover margin soon.

Shockingly, Indy goes three and out. Hunter Smith is the name of the Colts punter, and it's a pretty good gig if you can get it.

Kremer just reported that Rodney Harrison still hasn't come out of the locker room, and yet the Patriots are still calling his return probable. I wouldn't be shocked if he'd had an autopsy by now.

Brady bounces a screen pass, and Madden says, "The Patriots don't need this. Just run Maroney, run Dillon, because they haven't been able to stop it. This is the one think the Colts can defend . . . I don't know why they think they need to trick this defense." It's a great point - they're getting way too cute. I have to say, Madden is on his game tonight. There must not be a terducken in the booth to distract him.

NBC just showed Manning playing football in the yard as an 11-year-old. He had a head like a cereal box even then. I'm guessing little Eli was inside playing with his Malibu Barbie when the footage was shot.

Dammit, I hate all of Manning's annoying histrionics on the line. Just run the damn play. And it's even worse on Madden '06 - turns out video game Peyton is as annoying as the real thing. Um, not that I still play Madden or anything. Have I mentioned I'll be 37 this month?

On 3d and 7 inside the 20, Harrison runs a fade, catches Manning's pass with his outside hand, drags both feet just before he falls out of bounds, and in an act entirely out of character, spikes the ball in Ellis Hobbs's face, drawing a 15-yard taunting penalty. Something tells me Hobbs, whose mouth has run a whole lot faster than his legs this season, has been jabbering smack all game. Either way, it's 24-14, Indy, and the Patriots offense needs to cut out the cutesy *$&# and get its act together, pronto.

After another good Maroney return and a first down on a pass interference call, Brady's suddenly looking scatterarmed, missing Gabriel open over the middle and Bledsoeing a 3rd-and-10 pass in the flat to Watson. I miss the Minnesota defense. Fortunately, Gostkowski drills a 49-yarder, and the Pats are back within a score . . .

. . . and here's the turnover we were pleading for. Wilkins, who apparently has found a soft spot along the ride side of the Pats' kick coverage, looks on the verge of breaking one when Artrell Hawkins arrives via the blind side, pokes the ball loose, and makes the recovery at the Indy 47. "This could be the play that turns things around for the Patriots," Madden says. Ya think?

Dillon plows for nine on the first play. The fumble has made him angry, and an angry Corey Dillon is an effective Corey Dillon. Knock off the dink-and-dunk stuff and give Dillon and Maroney the damn ball already . . .

. . . or I suppose Brady could underthrow a third-down pass to Dave Thomas, then watch as Gostkowski pulls a Vanderjagt on a 36-yarder. File under: Botched opportunity. The way they're playing, it's a wonder they're only down a touchdown.

FOURTH QUARTER
So it's gotten to the point here that ol' No. 80, the all-time leading receiver in Patriots' history, is on the field as an extra defensive back. Hmm, wonder if Manning will notice.

Brown gets called for hands to the face on an incomplete pass on 3rd and 7. Where's Hank Poteat when you need him?

. . . and here's the second turnover we were pleading for. Manning hits Chad Scott right between the 3 and 0 on his jersey, and Scott zig-zags to the Indy 45. Nice pick, nice return, right out of the Ty Law playbook.

A receiver screen. Brady gets creamed. Caldwell wisely covers the ball. CAN WE KNOCK OFF THIS CUTESY CRAP PLEASE, JOSH McDANIELS? Um . . . nope. Brady passes on the next down, Robert Mathis deflects it, and Indy intercepts. I feel like I'm watching Rex Grossman. That's three picks, seven penalties, and a missed field goal for the Pats tonight. They're playing like they got into Belichick's kid's stash at halftime.

A 3rd and 10 jump-pass from Manning to some tight end I've never heard of nets a first down, and on the next play, Rosey Colvin, auditioning to be the new Chris Slade, cheap-shots a Colt, giving Indy their fifth first down by way of a penalty. This is shameful.

Indy can't punch it in from the 12, thanks to Jarvis Green getting into Manning's mutated grill, but the Colts get a crucial 3 when Vinatieri slips a 31-yarder inside the right goal post, and it's 27-17, Indy. Not. Looking. Good.

Nine minutes left, down 10 points, and Madden is still pushing the Pats to run the ball. I'm not sure they have enough time, but as I type this, Maroney busts off a 17-yarder, and they're in Colts' territory again . . .

. . . and inside the 15 (Troy Brown catch) . . .

. . . and inside the 10 (pass interference against Watson) . . .

Words I've written 33,000 times: I do not trust Kevin Faulk to handle the ball in tight situations. Give it to Maroney. Give it Dillon. Give it to Vagas Friggin' Ferguson. But a draw play to shrimpy, fumble-prone Faulk? Not a good idea.

. . . and as if on cue, Faulk, drops a pass two yards from the goal line on 3rd and 7. (Somewhere, J.R. Redmond mutters to himself, "I'd have caught that.") At least it wasn't a fumble. Gostkowski drills the short 3, and the Pats are back within a touchdown, 27-20.


Indy starts at their own 39, 5:42 remaining. It's fair to say that this series is the ballgame.

Harrison catches a slant on 2d and 7, converting the first down before diving to the turf. He has 8 catches for 145 yards and 2 TDs tonight. Something tells me he'd be much warier (and less effective) had Rodney Harrison not gotten hurt. I do hear he's probable to return, though. Keep your fingers crossed.

Three minutes remaining, and another Indy first down. Belichick calls timeout with 2:37 left. The fat lady is warming up her voice. Whoops, my bad. That was Booger McFarland.

Third and 5, Indy runs a draw, and the Pats stuff it . . . and now Vinatieri gets a chance to stick a dagger in his former team, just as he did to so many other teams when he called Foxboro home. What drama. Here's the truly fascinating part - the kick is a 45-yarder, and it was pretty obvious in recent seasons that Belichick thought Vinatieri's range was declining. One of them is going to come out of this looking good, and one of them isn't.

And with chants of "Trait-or, trait-or" filling the air, Vinatieri misses wide right. Point, Belichick. Man, I remember when Vinatieri could make a 45-yarder in a blizzard. (Cue Streisand yowling "The Way We Were").


Well, so much for that comeback. After a long completion to Watson, a Brady pass clangs off Faulk's hands, Cato June catches the rebound, Manning ambles out to take a knee . . . and that's all, folks. Indianapolis 27, New England 20. As far as an immediate postmortem, well, what can you say? Manning thoroughly outplayed Brady, Harrison's absence was crushing, and the Pats played from behind all night and, perhaps relatedly, didn't commit to the run nearly as much as they should have. While it's a discouraging loss - it's always a shock when the Pats don't play well in the biggest games - I remain convinced that the Patriots will beat the Colts when it matters. Maybe that's blind faith - after all, Indy now has a 2-game winning streak in the rivalry - but it seems to me their poor play tonight was self-inflicted more than anything, they lost by only 7 despite a string of blunders, and you have to figure Brady is too proud to play this poorly should they meet again. In the meantime, here's hoping Bob Griese and friends didn't prematurely pop the corks. The unbeaten Indy machine rolls on.

Oh, an in case you were still wondering, Andrea Kremer is reporting that Rodney Harrison has an arm injury. His return tonight? Probable. Someone please tell her she can go home now.

Weekend update

Ten free minutes for me, 10 free lunatic rantings for you . . .


1. I'm trying not to be overconfident here, but dammit, after their vintage performance during Viking Evisceration, I just can't help but believe this to be truth: The Patriots are going to destroy Colts. Laurence Maroney and Corey Dillon, who basically had a bye last week, are going to run wild against that porous Indy run defense. Tom Brady will again prove he is his generation's Montana to Peyton Manning's Marino, deep-frying the poor backup Colts safeties filling in for Bob Sanders and Mike Doss. And a defense that was picked apart by Manning Patriots-Colts a season ago now has the personnel to befuddle him the way they did in their six previous victories; remember, last season, Rodney Harrison and Richard Seymour were injured, Tedy Bruschi was in Week 2 of his comeback, Mike Vrabel was playing out of position, Chad Scott (who has been excellent) was on IR, unsung Artrell Hawkins was unemployed, Randall Gay was starting at safety, and someone named Mike Stone was the nickelback. Hell, Archie Manning could have shredded that defense. This defense? Let me put it this way: You can win a Super Bowl with this defense. And around midnight Sunday evening, it's going to be clear even to the Michael Irvins of the world that the Patriots are positioning themselves to do just that. Man, this feels like a playoff game. I can't wait.

2. Funny how so many in the electronic media seem to have forgotten this week that Adam Vinatieri's departure from the Patriots was just as much, if not more, his choice than it was Scott Pioli's or Bill Belichick's. It's almost as if the vocal, anti-Belichick posse is openly rooting for him to boot a winning kick on Sunday, thus teaching that cheapskate franchise a lesson it has longed deserved. Cripes, it's such nonsense. Listen, no one is going to coerce me into saying a bad word about Vinatieri or his unmatched legacy here: he was the only kicker I've completely believed in with a game on the line, he's booted at least two and as many as four of the most clutch kicks in league history, and he absolutely deserves a place in the Hall of Fame when all is said and done. I just wish some of the people getting paid to comment on this team would tell the entire truth: Vinatieri was the highest-paid kicker in the NFL on a couple of occasions during his time with the Patriots, he was offended that he wasn't paid more, suspected his previous agent colluded with the Patriots, and ultimately chose to leave. I'm not saying that's wrong. I'm just saying that's how it is. The Patriots, despite their concerns over his troublesome back, his decreasing range, and his limp kickoffs, did want to retain him at a reasonable price. It's unjust that they are being portrayed as kicking him to the curb, because any check of the basic facts will tell you that is not how it went down.

3. Am I the only one who got the sense that Glenn Ordway would not have been high on Red Auerbach's list of people to emcee a celebration of his life? Judging by the more-than-a-smattering of boos that greeted the Big Orb at the Garden the other night, apparently not, though he and Red did have one thing in common: both were remarkably adept at blowing smoke.

4. Just saw the news crawl across the NESN ticker: Francisco Liriano, the Twins' phenom lefty, needs Tommy John surgery and will likely miss the entire 2007 season. It's hardly unexpected, given the recurring pain he felt in his elbow when he tried to return late in the season, but it's sad news nonetheless. Liriano was the most overpowering, downright exciting pitcher I saw last season - watching him burst onto the scene reminded me of Dwight Gooden's arrival/ascendancy in '84/'85 - and it's a shame for baseball fans everywhere that a pitcher of such great ability and promise is now just one more scarred question mark.

5. So Captain Fist-Pump fulfills our previous warning and prances off with the Gold Glove that belongs on Gonzo's mantel. And it sure seems a forgone conclusion that he's going to beat out Papi, Justin Morneau, and half-dozen equally deserving candidates to win the AL MVP award. So I gotta ask: How the bleep are the fawning nitwit voters going to figure out a way to get him the Cy Young Award too?

6. Two games down, 80 to go, and I've seen nothing to alter my suspicion that the Celtics are an intriguing collection of individuals who fit poorly as a team. I like just about every single player on this roster to some extent (though Tony Allen, still clueless and no longer the sky-scraping athlete after his knee injury, is fast falling out of favor), but the mix just isn't right. I trust Danny Ainge is well aware of this, and I'm willing to believe he has stockpiled young talent in order to swap some of it for the right top-tier veteran if the opportunity arises. Personally, I think Kevin Garnett would look terrific in green.

7. Did you hear the big news? The Sox let Bill Haselman "pursue other opportunities" today. Yep, looks like we're looking for a new first base coach next season. I wonder if Baseball Prospectus might have a list of the best candidates, maybe broken down into the key statistical categories: Fewest Runners Thrown Out At Second, Most Attaboys Offered Per Baserunner, Most Accurate At Giving A Fist-Pound, etc, etc. Goddamn, I need this hot stove to heat up already. Other than all the intriguing Daniel Bard rumors - could he be the next Justin Verlander? - there is just nada going on right now.

8. I don't know who is winning the NBA title this season, but I can tell you who isn't: The Miami Heat. For all of Dwyane Wade's greatness - the only player I'd rather have than him is LeBron - he's going to be going at it alone a lot more than the experts realize, and if he continues to take more hits than David Carr and misses any length of time, this team will crumble. I can see Shaq's age, weight and regular-season indifference leading to a shockingly precipitous decline, 'Zo, 'Toine and Gary Payton are a year older and, you'd have to believe, considerably more complacent, and the bench is thinner than Tony Parker's girlfriend. It all went right for Miami last year. Despite Wade's best efforts, it won't happen again.

9. The latest episode of "The Office" was far and away the best in what thus far has been a funny but uneven season. Two questions that linger: What was Fancy New Beesley talking about when she said she "was expecting something to happen tonight"? And what, exactly, was the content of that text message that Jim was too blitzed to pick up? Thursday, and the pivotal episode titled "Branch Closing," can't come soon enough.

10. As for today's Completely Random Tony Dungy Photo:

Looking at him now, would you have ever believed he'd played professional football? And that he had to tackle people?

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Quick programming note: The plan is to live-blog the Pats-Colts game Sunday night, so be sure to stop by TATB and make yourself at home during the game. There's plenty of beer in the fridge. Help yourself, peeps.

There isn't one of these lines/That I would erase

Picking at a few leftovers while wondering if David Eckstein secretly longs to be a dentist . . .

• Though I suppose it means we'll be inundated with another half-dozen groan-inducing books on the genius of Tony La Russa, I truly was happy to see the Cardinals win the series. Not only are they a remarkably stable and accomplished franchise - truth be told, I didn't realize this was their 10th title - but their fans are famously classy. That was never more evident than in 2004, when a certain baseball team that matters somewhat around here won the Series on their turf, and St. Louis folks not only were gracious losers, but the Cardinals allowed Sox fans waiting in anticipation outside Busch Stadium to come inside and watch the celebration they'd been waiting years to witness. If that isn't justification for wishing them well in turn, I don't know what is. (Although the fact that the Official Muse of TATB is a Cards fan certainly might qualify. She's the one on the right, wiseass.)


• Taking just a couple more wild swings as we lament the end of baseball season, and dreading the cold days spent awaiting the next one's arrival. Here's hoping the rumors the Sox have significant interest in Mark Mulder are false. He's not nearly the pitcher he was in his Oakland heyday, and it's doubtful he will be again. His stats have declined for a few years now, his fastball is fat, he has a chronic hip problem, and he's coming off shoulder surgery. Do we need another Steve Avery here? Bad idea, Theo. Bad, bad idea . . . How bummed must Tigers fans be about losing the clinching game of the World Series to one of their all-time enigmas, Jeff Spicoli-Weaver. Come to think of it, I can't imagine Yankees fans, Dodgers fans, or Angels fans were too thrilled watching him finally pitch up to his ability, either. Are we sure that wasn't really Jered Weaver out there? . . . The Yankees did us a favor this week by picking up Gary Sheffield's option, with the intention of trading him and keeping him from the Red Sox. Sheffield is aging, divisive, and judging by the postseason, rapidly declining. Let him become someone else's problem . . . Hard to believe now, but the Blue Jays thought so little of sore-armed Chris Carpenter that they released him after the 2002 season. Think they'd like to have him paired up with Roy Halladay at the front of their rotation these days? . . . Though I can't resist the temptation to note that half of his eight "hits" were due directly to pure luck or poor defense by the Tigers, I can't argue against Eckstein's selection as the Series MVP. I just wish Fox and every damn middle-aged knight of the keyboard would quit portraying him as America's Gritty, Gutty Mascot. The over-the-top fawning over this oh-so-adorably average ballplayer almost rivaled the verbal backrubs Captain Fist-Pump used to get every October. You know, back when the Yankees made the Series.

• Yup, I think I've booted the Dunkin' Donuts large iced coffee regular habit for good, thanks for asking. It's been a dozen days without a single relapse, the hellacious headaches have subsided, and you would not believe how much more alert I feel. Of course, I need six naps a day now and I'm still sniffing glue like a madman. But let's just work on one vice at a time here.

• Hey, what say we call this segment Four Downs With Finn! Awesome title, huh? Whaddaya mean it's taken? 1) Sure, Peyton Manning still looks like he cuts his hair with toenail clippers, but man, did ever expose that speedy and talented Denver defense today. Well done, Doofus Spawn of Archie. And thanks for getting it all out of your system this week. 2) Got a chuckle out of watching the Colts' sideline react to Adam Vinatieri's predictably perfect game-winning boot. You didn't need to be a lipreader to decipher what Tony Dungy was saying: "Right . . . down . . . the . . . middle." It was quite a contrast to their playoff loss to the Steelers last year, when Idiot Drunken Vanderjagt's last-second kick shot off in the direction of French Lick, and virtually everyone from Dungy to Manning to Johnny Unitas In The Great Beyond reacted the same way, mouthing, "He missed it," followed by a disgusted headshake, like that was just what they expected to happen. I'm not sure the Patriots made a mistake in letting him go - I'm a Gostkowski Believer - but given their recent history, the Colts certainly were wise to sign him. 3) Tell me you didn't enjoy watching Romeo Crennel remind Eric Mangini of his not-so-lofty place on the Parcells/Belichick Coaching Tree this afternoon. Take that, son. Now go do your homework. 4) Oakland 20, Pittsburgh 13. Now that's what you call a lingering Super Bowl hangover.

• One more NFL rant: I believe in Reggie Bush and remain convinced that Houston made a franchise-altering blunder in passing him up for generic Mario Williams, but jeezus, I think he has more combined commercials and ESPN highlights than he has total yardage this season. I believe the hype with this kid . . . but does there have to be so much of it?

• Further proof that Paul Pierce respects the game more than the old-school, better-in-my-day wheezers and geezers would have you believe: "I think [my teammates] really have to understand the history of the game. And Red is a big part of the history of the whole NBA — not just the Celtics, but the whole NBA." Amen.

• Thanks to Jim's warbling on The Office an episode or so ago, that atrocious so-called song "Lovefool" by the Cardigans has been stuck on repeat in my ear for a good week. Well, I'm glad to report that it has at last been muted . . . and replaced by Jon Bon Jovi's latest piece of earnest, irresistible American cheese, "Who Says You Can't Go Home." You bet I'll take that tradeoff. At least hearing Bon Jovi reminds me of cruising the mean streets of Bath, Me. during high school, kicking ass and taking names. Okay, so I was usually candlepin bowling, chickening out on making a move, and hanging out in the McDonald's parking lot . . . but you get the point. I was a cowboy, on a steel horse I rode, and I was wanted dead or alive, dammit. The song's tolerable as far as earworms go, and yeah, I'm glad Bon Jovi somehow endures. Anything to make these old bones feel young, people.

As for today's Completely Random Baseball Card:


Because sometimes, it really is random.

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• I'm hoping to write something worth reading on Red Auerbach Monday afternoon, then live-blog the Bethel Johnson Bowl Monday night, so be sure to check in during the game if not before. Programming on this station is always subject to change, of course, depending upon the sleeping patters of a blue-eyed angel/devil of a 2 1/2-year-old and her 2-month-old bro, but I'll do my best to get both posts cranked out.