Sunday, January 07, 2007

Kick me


RANDOM, SEMI-COHERENT, WEE-HOURS NOTES ABOUT SATURDAY'S NFL GAMES . . .

Nothing tells me it's playoff season like a Ty Law interception of a Peyton Manning pass. Or two. Man, I do wish sly ol' No. 24 was still a Patriot . . . I give Manning credit for saying afterward that he told Law he'd gladly introduce him at his Hall of Fame speech (and make no mistake, Law belongs in Canton), but Archie's Doofus Spawn has never had a hard time being a gracious winner. It's when he loses that he's all too eager to help identify the other culprits . . . He could kick for them for the next decade, and I will never get used to seeing Adam Vinatieri in a Colts uniform . . . Jets fans had to be snickering at Herm Edwards's completely inept coaching job in the Chiefs' shameful 23-8 loss to Indy. Must have looked pretty familiar, right down to the botched clock management at the end of the first half. Going from Herm to Eric Mangini is like going from Rosie O'Donnell to, well, just about any other female mammal on earth. The upgrade is off the charts . . . When it was clear Indy had made the necessary tactical adjustments to at least contain the Chiefs' running game - as Pats fans learned earlier this season, Bob Sanders is a run-stopping defense all by himself - Edwards's Plan B was to stare blankly and scratch his head . . . What should he have done? For starters, he should have benched Trent Green for Damon Huard once it was apparent that Green couldn't find an open receiver with a GPS system . . . Huard is one of the best backups in football, he has the reputation as always being prepared, he was terrific when Green was injured early in the season, and besides, he could not have been worse . . . Of course, it wasn't all Green's fault: How many catches did Eddie Kennison and the Chiefs' receivers collect: Try zero-zip-nada. Maybe Reche Caldwell and his merry band of misfits isn't the worst receiving crew in the playoffs after all . . . As for that other game today: Holy *#$&# . . . Tony Romo, meet Leon Lett. Leon Lett, say hello to Tony Romo . . . You have to feel bad for the kid, his fairy tale season ending with his pumpkin smashed to bits, though I think it became apparent a few weeks ago that he's much more similar to Jake Plummer than he is to Tom Brady or Peyton Manning . . . For what it's worth, Terry Glenn barely budged as Romo's hail mary fell five feet in front of him. Friggin' she. Phelan would've had it . . . Boy, Bill Parcells looks like a tired old man. I think he'll come back - coaches coach, he might say - but I can't imagine he's looking forward to another year of T.O. and Jerry Jones . . . Was it wrong of me to root for some Seahawk to roll up Romo's leg, just so we could find out once and for all if Drew Bledsoe does indeed still attend the games? Until I see definitive proof that he was on the sideline today, I'm convinced he watched this one from the barcalounger at his Montana compound . . . Guess Martin Gramatica isn't as tough as he looks, huh? . . . Somewhere, a certain drunken idiot kicker was 18 Bud Lights into a case and muttering to himself, "Dude, I'd have made that block." . . . I feel bad for a good buddy of mine who's a loyal (if demented) Cowboys fan, but I couldn't bring myself to root for them today for one reason: Terrell Owens is the most despicable athlete of my lifetime, at least among those who haven't committed felonies. He can't go away fast enough . . . No knock on Logan Mankins, but I still wish the Patriots had taken Lofa Tatupu in Rd. 1 a year ago . . . I think I understand why Bill Belichick put so much stock in Ken Walter's holding abilities now . . . And in a completely unrelated note, I do hate it when Pam cries.


. . . AND A FEW SCATTERED THOUGHTS ABOUT WHAT WE'RE EXPECTING/WORRIED ABOUT/LOOKING FORWARD TO COME 1 P.M. TODAY . . .

Upon first consideration of this Patriots-Jets matchup, I was extremely confident that it would be a blowout, perhaps something of the 41-10 variety. But the more I think about it, the more I wonder if the Jets have a vibe similar to the 2001 Pats, and the more concerned I've become . . . and I think that's a good thing. As you likely know if you visit here with any regularity, my crystal ball has been on the fritz regarding Patriots predictions this season. (For a flashback to its more effective days, click here.) Most of the time, I've been made to look a fool (or if you prefer a harsher term, a Salisbury) when I've fretted that the Patriots might find themselves in a nailbiter with an inferior opponent (see: Packers, Texans) only to have New England cruise to a lopsided victory. To be honest, I'm cool with playing the town boob so long as it means the Patriots live to play another week. So here's hoping the trend continues, and my nagging concerns are revealed, again, to be more proof that I should never, ever bet on football . . . Given the damage that Pacman Jones did to the Patriots' coverage teams last week, we should be sufficiently concerned about the impact Justin Miller could have on today's game. Miller averaged 28.3 yards per return this season, and the Patriots simply cannot allow him to approach that gaudy number . . . I know his rookie season was remarkably similar to his legendary predecessor's, but I still get Wilfork-sized butterflies in my stomach whenever Stephen Gostkowski has to attempt a meaningful kick - and frankly, he really hasn't been tested by too many crucial situations. In retrospect, I wish he'd gotten a game-winning attempt or two out of the way during the regular season . . . The Jets blitzed the Patriots 28 times during their 17-14 victory the last time the teams' met, with impressive young safety Kerry Rhodes involved it what seemed like 27 of them. If they do it again today, I have a feeling Tom Brady will have an answer for it, and that answer likely will include throwing the ball toward the receiver who is matched up with Hank Poteat . . . Chad Pennington has my respect. How he so methodically lofts those helium balloons over a defender and into his receiver's arms is one of the great mysteries of the NFL. Talk about a touch passer - there's no margin for error with him. If he's off just a little bit, those pinpoint passes turn into interceptions. He's the Jamie Moyer of the NFL . . . Who the hell is Matt Chatham to be talking trash? The best thing he ever did as a Patriot was knock the stuffing out of that streaker during the second Super Bowl win . . . Wouldn't it be nice if certain storyline-driven media folks spent less time wondering in print whether Bill Belichick would say Mangini's name and more time trying to find out just what happened that made Belichick so vengeful toward his former protege in the first place? Peter King tonight mentioned a couple of rumors that we've been hearing for a while - namely, that Mangini tampered with Patriots' free agents, Chatham included, before officially departing for the Jets, and that he also told Deion Branch they'd rip up the final year of his contract should he become a Jet, a promise that may have helped encourage Branch to stand his ground in his holdout. If any of this is true, isn't Belichick justified in his anger at the blatant betrayal? I guess it's just easier to paint him as the bad guy, the petty one, than to find out once and for all what really happened . . . I was hoping to live blog the game, but I got called to duty at work, where I'll be attempting the tricky feat of putting together a SportsLog with one eye on the television. Sounds painful, doesn't it? I'm hoping to get a chance to pop into the comments section once or twice, though, so be sure to stop in during the game. Here's hoping we get to do this again next week.

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Tuesday, November 21, 2006

First and 10: Patriots 35, Packers 0


1. Well, that sure was a reassuring win. In many ways, the 35-0 beat-down of Brett Fav-rah and the Packers was a classic Belichick-era Patriots victory. Whenever their backs have been up against the wall and they face a must-win situation, that's when they've tended to play their very best games. Talk about an immensely valuable characteristic to have. Of course, questions still remain: Why have they been so much better on the road than at the Razor? Are they capable of playing this way against a playoff-caliber team? Is there enough depth in the defensive backfield to shut down a quarterback better than the disinterested Favre? I suppose we'll get all the answers in the coming weeks. But after Sunday, you have to feel encouraged that we're going to like what we learn about this still-resilient team.

2. Tom Brady? Injured? (Scoffs.) That's crazy talk. Man, you must have read that somewhere else. What idiot would suggest such a thing? Oh, all right, to be completely honest, I remain skeptical that he is as healthy as he claims to be. I just can't comprehend that his uncharacteristically inconsistent passing this season is simply the result of a suddenly scattershot arm. He's been so consistent for so long that you have to believe something is wrong when his radar inexplicably goes on the fritz. But if he's going to keep playing as efficiently and effectively as he did this week - now that was the Brady we've been waiting to see - I'll be glad to be proven wrong each and every Sunday, all the way to Miami.

3. It looks like the Patriots don't have much intention of signing him after the season, and he probably hasn't produced enough to justify being a first-round pick in 2002, but I think the Patriots are a better football team when Daniel Graham is healthy and involved. He remains a devastating blocker - ask Julius Peppers about the whupping Graham put on him in the Super Bowl XXXVIII - and while he seems to juggle every catch he makes, he's an effective receiver despite his limited use. Maybe if he can stay healthy for the rest of the season, they'll give more consideration to keeping him around. He's no star, but his value can't be denied.

4. So what was the most ridiculous aspect of the Brett Favre "He'd Play The Game For Free!" experience Sunday? How the NFL's most accomplished drama queen needed a friggin' medical cart to get to the locker room after suffering an owie to his funny bone? How said medical cart/motorcade nearly turned a Patriots player (Ellis Hobbs, I believe) into roadkill as the teams left the field for halftime? Or how CBS - and the affably oblivious Dan Dierdorf in particular - acted as if Favre's absence was some devastating loss to the Packers, when in fact he was an abysmal 5 for 15 for 73 yards and looked as if he couldn't wait for the damn hopeless cause to get over with? He's playing for the streak now (250 and counting), and little else. Back in the day - you know, when he was actually good - I admired Favre for his obvious talent and joy as much as anyone. But those days are long gone, and the he-can-do-no-wrong Jeterification of his accomplishments is little more than a misleading annoyance at this point.

5. We interrupt this football programming to bring you this special report: THE CUBS PAID $136 MILLION FOR ALFONSO (SLIDER IN THE DIRT, STRIKE THREE) SORIANO? HOLY *#*#*!!! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE *$&%&#*&#& KIDDING ME!!! THAT'S INSANITY!!!! We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

6. Gotta admit, I'm coming around on Reche Caldwell. Sure, I had my gripes about his seemingly slippery hands and inability to get separation, and the dude's Chris Tucker eyes still freak me out. But he deserves nothing but plaudits for his recent steady and reliable play, and of all the new additions to the receiving corps, he seems to have done the most to earn Brady's trust. I'd still rather have David Givens, but Caldwell's doing his best to make the Patriots look good for taking a flyer on him.

7. Among the birthday loot I received today from Mrs. TATB (I'm 29 for the ninth straight year, if you were wondering) was a requested copy of Charlie Pierce's best-seller-to-be on Ol' No. 12 In Your Program, No. 1 In Patriots Fans' Hearts. I have this suspense-killing habit of skimming a book before I actually read it, and during tonight's speed read, the most interesting revelation I found was this: Damon Huard, the third-string quarterback during the 2001 season, earned that Super Bowl ring in far more ways than we ever realized. A close friend of Bledsoe's who shared an insatiable work-ethic with Brady, his deftness at diffusing the tension between his quarterbacking peers proved crucial in keeping the team together. I always thought Huard was a better quarterback than he got credit for - the consensus in Miami was that he should have gotten the job over Jay Fiedler after Dan Marino retired, and he's certainly rescued the Chiefs this season - but I had no idea he was such a good teammate, too.

8. The Tony Romo man-love from the Peter Kings of the world is getting to be a bit much. While the kid is a blast to watch, brought energy to the stagnant offense, and has even helped put some color back in the Tuna's alarmingly pallid face, he's become the recipient of verbal backrubs from the media usually reserved for quarterbacks with the surname Manning. (Or Favre.) What is it Parcells himself once said way back when after one of his young Patriots was the object of the media's overwrought platitudes? Ah, yes: "Let's not put the kid in Canton just yet, fellas." Then again, he was talking about Curtis Martin if I recall correctly, and it's a foregone conclusion that there is a mustard-colored jacked in his future. I'm pretty sure I just contradicted my own point there, so let me reiterate the so-called point: Romo is capable, an upgrade on the calcified Bledsoe for sure, and he's making it fun for Dallas fans again. But the fawning could make this fun story annoying pretty quickly for those who don't sleep beneath a Cowboys blankie at night.


9. As if you need more proof that I fall somewhere between "Damn Fool" and "Tony Kornheiser" in terms of football insight, I have to admit that I wrote a column back in 2001 imploring the Patriots to avoid drafting a certain undersized running back from Texas Christian in the first round. Yeah, I thought LaDainian Tomlinson was a stiff. (And I won't even mention that I wanted them to draft David Terrell or Koren Robinson with that No. 6 pick that was eventually used on Richard Seymour. Hey, I wasn't the only one.) Tomlinson, as he's proved with his record-setting sprint to 102 touchdowns in 89 career games, is of course anything but a stiff. At age 27, he's already among the all-time greats, entirely worthy of the LT nickname, and he's made that shrewd Chargers front office look all the more clever: That vaunted Vick-for-LT-and-Brees blockbuster looks more and more like a heist each time Tomlinson crosses the goal line.

10. As for today's Completely Random Football Card:


Huh. I guess I just assumed football broadcasting's answer to Tim McCarver has had that goofy-ass mustache since birth.

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