TATB Live: Colts at Patriots

Yup, TATB is in the house, glued to the couch for the next four hours in the name of blogging duty, and let me tell you, I'm jacked and pumped like Pete Carroll at a Trojan pep rally. I haven't anticipated a regular season game like this since . . . well, since the Colts-Pats game last year. And I like their chances a whole lot better this time around against Peyton and the Ponies. Having Rodney Harrison and Richard Seymour in the lineup tends to swell your confidence.

So how's it gonna go? Let me put it this way - the '72 Dolphins will be popping some champagne corks around midnight tonight. I think the Patriots' obvious plan of attack will be the reality - they'll pound Laurence Maroney and Corey Dillon (both of whom basically enjoyed a bye week against Minnesota) 40-something times against the porous Indy run defense, which is allowing 5.4 yards per carry. I think Ben Watson will build on last week's breakout performance, and I think at least one Manning pass will find it's way into the hands of Asante Samuel (playing the Ty Law role), and I think Adam Vinatieri's return will be little more than a footnote. The pick: Patriots, 34-17.

Some quickie pregame notes/observations:

• NBC just showed Marvin Harrison running various patterns, including a couple of slants over the middle. It's worth noting that he does not practice turtleing like a frightened schoolgirl during warmups. It just comes naturally.

• On the ESPN pregame show, Jaws and The Players Hate Their Coach took the Colts, while Ditka, You're With Me Leather, and It Was My Buddy's Crackpipe, Officer took the Pats. All in all, I'd rather have Jaworski on our side. He's the best, and it makes me slightly nervous that he's not in the Pats' corner.

• Eugene Wilson, Stephen Neal, and Daniel Graham are among the Patriots' inactives, while safety Bob Sanders is apparently playing for the Colts. Not bad considering each team had 53 players listed as questionable midweek, but I really wish Graham was playing - he makes such a difference in the running game.

• Pink looks like she's auditioning for the Tim Curry role in "Rocky Horror Picture Show 2006." Let's play the game already . . .

FIRST QUARTER
Pats start with the ball . . . and it looks like they're planning on keeping it for a while. After Dillon was stopped for a two-yard loss on the first play from scrimmage, the Pats have methodically advanced to midfield, with three strong runs from Dillon and two from Maroney . . .

. . . and just as I write that last sentence, Brady throws an ill-advised pick on deep pass into the end zone, and the drive stalls. Crap, I should have known I'd jinx 'em. It really would have been nice to get some points on that first drive.

John Mellancamp is doing a very effective job of convincing me to never plant my ass in a Chevy ever again. Who knew Mr. Farm Aid was such a sellout? Looks like they've changed the visual from the unbelievably tasteless Hurricane Katrina/Vietnam footage to some shots of pickup trucks and wheat fields and other tame Midwestern Americana. Good call there. Whoever came up with that original commercial should have been reassigned to the mailroom.

The Colts come out in a no-huddle, and after Manning tosses a pair of incompletions, he makes perhaps the first improvised play of his career, rolling out to the left and, just as he's clobbered by Rosey Colvin, unleashing a 44-yard bomb down the middle to Harrison. Worse, Rodney Harrison stays on the ground when everyone else gets up. Looks like a shoulder injury. So much for overconfidence.

And after one more first down, Manning hits Harrison for an eight-yard TD on a slant pattern, and as Al Michaels puts it, "First blood drawn by the Colts." It's 7-0, Indy, and while my confidence remains intact, I wish Indy's had been taken down a few notches with a stalled first drive.

The bleepin' Mellancamp is airing during every commercial break - I think it's four and counting. I might end up buying a Ford truck out of spite before the first half is over.

Troy Brown catches a short pass inside the Patriots 40, flips the ball to the official . . . and is called for taunting, a 15-yard penalty. I can say with a great degree of confidence that in, what, the 14 years we've been watching Brown, we've never seen him taunt anyone. In a related note, the official looks suspiciously like Archie Manning.

Reche Caldwell with a drop on 2d and 8. He's also already got an offensive pass interference penalty tonight. Someone needs to tell him to get his damn skeeter eyeballs back into their sockets and relax.

On the positive side, it seems the Patriots will be able to move the ball at will. Maroney and Dillon have Wilfork-sized holes to run through and Doug Gabriel already has one nice catch and run, getting a first down on 3rd and 20. Even on 4th and 3 inside the Colts 20, the Pats have the confidence/wisdom to go for it and gain the first down on a Brady to Kevin Faulk pass. It's 1st and goal at the 5 as the first quarter passes in a blur.

SECOND QUARTER
Two Dillon carries and five yards later, and it's all tied at 7. It's worth noting that much of Dillon's yardage is coming over the right guard. I'm not sure who's filling in for Steve Neal (perhaps it's Billy Yates, previously known as the World's Highest-Paid Practice Squad Player) but he's kicking some Colt butt.

Uh-oh. Chad Scott has moved to safety, Ellis Hobbs is in at corner, and Rodney Harrison is in the locker room. Andrea Kremer tells us that Harrison has a right arm injury and that his return is probable. Could be worse, I suppose, but I'm pretty sure this secretive Patriots regime would tell us Hart Lee Dykes's return is probable at this point.

Manning is under siege and handling it with poise, throwing over the top of the rush to find Reggie Wayne for 16 yards and Dallas Clark down the middle for another decent gain . . . and then, under no rush, he rolls left and hits Wayne for 44 yards to the Patriots 1. Joseph Addai takes it into the end zone on the next play, and the Colts go up, 14-7. Can you say shootout?

Here's our second Manning commercial of the night - the one where he's disguised as Fred Smerlas and pimping cell phones. I'll admit that he's pretty good in most of his 18,839 commercials, particularly the MasterCard ones. I still think he looks like the spawn of Beavis and Butthead, though.

John Madden just compared Maroney to Clinton Portis. Pretty good company there, though I think Our Guy is a little bigger and runs a little tougher and is considerably less insane. I always tell people he reminds me of Fred Taylor back when he broke in with the Jaguars, you know, before he was so tragically stricken with leprosy. Just an ideal combination of speed and power. Maroney's had at least five carries in a row by the way, all for nice chunks of yardage, and the Pats are closing in on the Indy 20.


Third and 4, Brady hits Troy Brown on a quick out pattern for a first down, and I cannot think of a more appropriate way for him to become the all-time leading receiver in Patriots history, besting the great Stanley Morgan's record. Brown might be the greatest role player in the history of Boston sports, and I feel privilege to have watched him all these years.

Dillon, looking refreshed after his vacation in Minnesota last weekend, plows in from the 4, and we're tied again, 14-14. A three-and-out by Indy would be wonderful right about now . . .

. . . especially since Indy gets the ball at the Pats 40, thanks to a streak up the right sideline by Terrence Wilkins, who ran over Stephen Gostkowski (he ain't the tackler he predecessor was, apparently) and would have had a touchdown if not for the remarkable hustle of defensive tackle Mike Wright, who somehow gained ground on him and tripped him from behind.

Still no Rodney Harrison, and apparently Manning has noticed - on the first play after the kickoff, he launches a missile toward Marvin Harrison inside the Pats 10. Chad Scott, who is struggling at safety after playing so well at corner, obliges with a pass interference penalty, and Indy is on the verge again. Harrison must be having his arm amputated to keep him out of this game.

The Pats back Indy into a 3rd and 17 thanks to a sack by the rejuvenated Junior Seau, but Samuel is called for holding on a floater toward Harrison in the end zone, and the Colts get a second life as the 2 minute warning arrives. I'm feeling queasy . . .

. . . but somehow Indy is held to a Vinatieri field goal, and at this point a 17-14 deficit feels like a moral victory.

I'm thinking this might be the play that your buddies are rehashing at the office tomorrow: Fourth and 1 at midfield, 1:02 remaining, and the Patriots go for it . . . and on a quarterback sneak in which Brady appears to be stopped, one official comes charging in and immediately signals first down. Upon first glance, it appears to be a blantantly bad call, and because it's within 2 minutes, the booth reviews it. It might not be an exaggeration to suggest the game's outcome could hang in the balance of this review.

Whew. The play stands. Curiously, the official looks quite a bit like Jonathan Kraft. The Pats can't afford to waste this gift.

Brady threads a beauty through three defenders to Ben Watson at the 30. Unfortunately, he's borrowing Mark Blount's hands for the evening, and it drops harmlessly to the ground. Big Ben 2K6, still the enigma.

Third and 6 at the Indy 48, Dwight Freeney has Brady in his mitts, but apparently having to forgot how to sack a quarterback this season (he has 1/2 sack, and that is not a typo), he lets him slip away. Brady promptly hits Brown for the first down.

Consider that gift wasted. Brady goes deep to a triple-teamed and well-covered Watson, the oh-so-slightly overthrown pass deflects off his aluminum left hand, and Bob Sanders comes away with it at the 3. Looks like we'll be going into the break with a three-point deficit. Taking inventory: Thus far, their stud QB is outplaying our stud QB, Rodney Harrison is down to three limbs, and the Pats' hopes hinge on Belichick making his usual shrewd halftime adjustments. Yeah, I'd say it's living up to the hype so far.

(This is coming down to Vinatieri, isn't it? Damn, I'd hate for the jackals to be right.)

THIRD QUARTER
Andrea Kremer just reported that Tony Dungy said the Patriots know they need to score a lot and because of that, Tom Brady is pressing. I'd be pissed if it didn't look like he was correct.

Do the Colts even carry a punter? Is it still Rohn Stark? I thought we were about to find out, but after Ellis Hobbs makes a spectacular leap to bust up a deep pass in the end zone on 3rd and 8, Mike Vrabel is called for a phantom hands to the face call, and Indy gets five yards and a first down. I suppose it's not good form to bitch about the refs, but that was a bad call. Friggin' Indy pansy receivers.

The Pats somehow hold 'em again, and Vinatieri trots out to kick a 37-yarder. Automatic, right? Nope, wide right. Told ya the guy was nothing but a dome kicker. It goes without saying that the Pats need to take advantage of this.

And here we are, at another crossroads: On the first play, Dillon coughs up the ball as he hits the ground, Raheem Brock falls on it, Matt Light falls on him, and Brock gets up and runs the ball into the end zone anyway. Can you say replay? After a Patriots challenge and the official's extended stint under the replay hood, the call is fumble, Indy's ball at the Pats 31. The Patriots have turned the ball over three times to Indy's zero. They're not going to win if they don't improve the turnover margin soon.

Shockingly, Indy goes three and out. Hunter Smith is the name of the Colts punter, and it's a pretty good gig if you can get it.

Kremer just reported that Rodney Harrison still hasn't come out of the locker room, and yet the Patriots are still calling his return probable. I wouldn't be shocked if he'd had an autopsy by now.

Brady bounces a screen pass, and Madden says, "The Patriots don't need this. Just run Maroney, run Dillon, because they haven't been able to stop it. This is the one think the Colts can defend . . . I don't know why they think they need to trick this defense." It's a great point - they're getting way too cute. I have to say, Madden is on his game tonight. There must not be a terducken in the booth to distract him.

NBC just showed Manning playing football in the yard as an 11-year-old. He had a head like a cereal box even then. I'm guessing little Eli was inside playing with his Malibu Barbie when the footage was shot.

Dammit, I hate all of Manning's annoying histrionics on the line. Just run the damn play. And it's even worse on Madden '06 - turns out video game Peyton is as annoying as the real thing. Um, not that I still play Madden or anything. Have I mentioned I'll be 37 this month?

On 3d and 7 inside the 20, Harrison runs a fade, catches Manning's pass with his outside hand, drags both feet just before he falls out of bounds, and in an act entirely out of character, spikes the ball in Ellis Hobbs's face, drawing a 15-yard taunting penalty. Something tells me Hobbs, whose mouth has run a whole lot faster than his legs this season, has been jabbering smack all game. Either way, it's 24-14, Indy, and the Patriots offense needs to cut out the cutesy *$&# and get its act together, pronto.

After another good Maroney return and a first down on a pass interference call, Brady's suddenly looking scatterarmed, missing Gabriel open over the middle and Bledsoeing a 3rd-and-10 pass in the flat to Watson. I miss the Minnesota defense. Fortunately, Gostkowski drills a 49-yarder, and the Pats are back within a score . . .

. . . and here's the turnover we were pleading for. Wilkins, who apparently has found a soft spot along the ride side of the Pats' kick coverage, looks on the verge of breaking one when Artrell Hawkins arrives via the blind side, pokes the ball loose, and makes the recovery at the Indy 47. "This could be the play that turns things around for the Patriots," Madden says. Ya think?

Dillon plows for nine on the first play. The fumble has made him angry, and an angry Corey Dillon is an effective Corey Dillon. Knock off the dink-and-dunk stuff and give Dillon and Maroney the damn ball already . . .

. . . or I suppose Brady could underthrow a third-down pass to Dave Thomas, then watch as Gostkowski pulls a Vanderjagt on a 36-yarder. File under: Botched opportunity. The way they're playing, it's a wonder they're only down a touchdown.

FOURTH QUARTER
So it's gotten to the point here that ol' No. 80, the all-time leading receiver in Patriots' history, is on the field as an extra defensive back. Hmm, wonder if Manning will notice.

Brown gets called for hands to the face on an incomplete pass on 3rd and 7. Where's Hank Poteat when you need him?

. . . and here's the second turnover we were pleading for. Manning hits Chad Scott right between the 3 and 0 on his jersey, and Scott zig-zags to the Indy 45. Nice pick, nice return, right out of the Ty Law playbook.

A receiver screen. Brady gets creamed. Caldwell wisely covers the ball. CAN WE KNOCK OFF THIS CUTESY CRAP PLEASE, JOSH McDANIELS? Um . . . nope. Brady passes on the next down, Robert Mathis deflects it, and Indy intercepts. I feel like I'm watching Rex Grossman. That's three picks, seven penalties, and a missed field goal for the Pats tonight. They're playing like they got into Belichick's kid's stash at halftime.

A 3rd and 10 jump-pass from Manning to some tight end I've never heard of nets a first down, and on the next play, Rosey Colvin, auditioning to be the new Chris Slade, cheap-shots a Colt, giving Indy their fifth first down by way of a penalty. This is shameful.

Indy can't punch it in from the 12, thanks to Jarvis Green getting into Manning's mutated grill, but the Colts get a crucial 3 when Vinatieri slips a 31-yarder inside the right goal post, and it's 27-17, Indy. Not. Looking. Good.

Nine minutes left, down 10 points, and Madden is still pushing the Pats to run the ball. I'm not sure they have enough time, but as I type this, Maroney busts off a 17-yarder, and they're in Colts' territory again . . .

. . . and inside the 15 (Troy Brown catch) . . .

. . . and inside the 10 (pass interference against Watson) . . .

Words I've written 33,000 times: I do not trust Kevin Faulk to handle the ball in tight situations. Give it to Maroney. Give it Dillon. Give it to Vagas Friggin' Ferguson. But a draw play to shrimpy, fumble-prone Faulk? Not a good idea.

. . . and as if on cue, Faulk, drops a pass two yards from the goal line on 3rd and 7. (Somewhere, J.R. Redmond mutters to himself, "I'd have caught that.") At least it wasn't a fumble. Gostkowski drills the short 3, and the Pats are back within a touchdown, 27-20.


Indy starts at their own 39, 5:42 remaining. It's fair to say that this series is the ballgame.

Harrison catches a slant on 2d and 7, converting the first down before diving to the turf. He has 8 catches for 145 yards and 2 TDs tonight. Something tells me he'd be much warier (and less effective) had Rodney Harrison not gotten hurt. I do hear he's probable to return, though. Keep your fingers crossed.

Three minutes remaining, and another Indy first down. Belichick calls timeout with 2:37 left. The fat lady is warming up her voice. Whoops, my bad. That was Booger McFarland.

Third and 5, Indy runs a draw, and the Pats stuff it . . . and now Vinatieri gets a chance to stick a dagger in his former team, just as he did to so many other teams when he called Foxboro home. What drama. Here's the truly fascinating part - the kick is a 45-yarder, and it was pretty obvious in recent seasons that Belichick thought Vinatieri's range was declining. One of them is going to come out of this looking good, and one of them isn't.

And with chants of "Trait-or, trait-or" filling the air, Vinatieri misses wide right. Point, Belichick. Man, I remember when Vinatieri could make a 45-yarder in a blizzard. (Cue Streisand yowling "The Way We Were").


Well, so much for that comeback. After a long completion to Watson, a Brady pass clangs off Faulk's hands, Cato June catches the rebound, Manning ambles out to take a knee . . . and that's all, folks. Indianapolis 27, New England 20. As far as an immediate postmortem, well, what can you say? Manning thoroughly outplayed Brady, Harrison's absence was crushing, and the Pats played from behind all night and, perhaps relatedly, didn't commit to the run nearly as much as they should have. While it's a discouraging loss - it's always a shock when the Pats don't play well in the biggest games - I remain convinced that the Patriots will beat the Colts when it matters. Maybe that's blind faith - after all, Indy now has a 2-game winning streak in the rivalry - but it seems to me their poor play tonight was self-inflicted more than anything, they lost by only 7 despite a string of blunders, and you have to figure Brady is too proud to play this poorly should they meet again. In the meantime, here's hoping Bob Griese and friends didn't prematurely pop the corks. The unbeaten Indy machine rolls on.

Oh, an in case you were still wondering, Andrea Kremer is reporting that Rodney Harrison has an arm injury. His return tonight? Probable. Someone please tell her she can go home now.

Pats-Broncos, live

All right, as promised, TATB is in the house, and hell yeah, we're ready for some football. We're stuffed full of pesto pizza, are well-stocked with the appropriate football-watchin' beverages (no daiquiris in this house, Jeter!), and as my wife likes to remind me, I'm in the ideal physical condition to be planted on the couch for the next three hours. Now if I can just forget the frightening image of that she-male singer Pink warbling from my TV, I'll be all set.

Prediction? Well, I always have faith in the Belichick Pats . . . but Denver, 5-1 in their last six against New England, always scare the hell out of me, and Mike Shanahan might be the second-best coach in the league. Rod Smith usually has something like 17 catches for 287 yards against the Pats, Champ Bailey should be avoided at all costs, and Denver's D as a whole is fast and mean - they made the Patriots look positively old in the regular season last year. But if Tom Brady plays like Tom Brady, Jake Plummer plays like Jake Plummer, and the Maroney/Dillon duo gains enough ground to keep the Broncos honest, I say the Pats eke it out, 21-17.

Let's do it:

PREGAME
• Sez Al Michaels per his pregame introduction: "With the Red Sox off the radar, it is officially and exclusively football season in New England." All right, I guess I'll buy that . . . at least until Manny's next trade demand or some other news of significance emanates from Yawkey Way, and then the Sox will bounce the Pats back down to the bottom of the sports page again. I'm not saying that's how it should be. That's just the way it is.

• The Broncos' offensive lineman don't talk to the media and thus don't cooperate with the familiar Name/College personal introduction. Rather, they are introduced by Michaels as still headshots appear on the screen. So, yeah, they are exactly the kind of jerks you'd think a jacked-up pack of cheap-shot artists would be.

FIRST QUARTER
• Denver takes it at the 20 after Stephen Gostkowski clobbers the opening kickoff into the end zone. Even the most ardent Adam Vinatieri fan has to admit the rookie is an upgrade there. Denver gets one first down, Plummer completes a couple of crossing patterns (they killed the Pats with crossing routes last year during the Duane Starks debacle), but they end up having to punt after two series, pinning the Patriots at the 1.

• No one is doing much of anything early . . . and yet John Madden is not yet audibly snoring, despite inhaling three whole turkeys during the pregame. I think I heard his stomach growling, though.

• The Charlotte Observer erroneously reported that Bucs quarterback Chris Simms is hospitalized in critical condition after taking several hard hits in today's loss to the Panthers. Peter King sets the record straight, saying Simms is in the hospital but is not in critical condition. King resists the temptation to tell us to trade Carson Palmer for Simms in our fantasy league, since Simms has "miraculous healing powers."

• Andrea Kremer checks in with some inane report from the sideline. Gotta say, I lost some respect for her when I saw her standing on a milk crate to look taller while interviewing Drew Bledsoe a few years ago. She's like Shelley Smith's Mini-Me.

• At 5:08 of the first quarter, we get our first mentions of Deion Branch and David Givens. I thought it would be sooner. Props to NBC for avoiding the beaten-to-death storyline. Or maybe Madden and Michaels thought they were still around until now.

• No Chad Jackson tonight. Geez, did this kid get his hamstrings transplanted from the cadaver of Vincent Brisby?

• John Lynch nearly picks off a Brady wobbler near midfield. The Pats came thisclose to signing Lynch after the 2003 season when he was let go by Tampa, but the Pats reportedly backed off due to concerns regarding his history of neck problems. Bet Belichick wishes they'd taken the chance. Not only would Lynch and Rodney Harrison have made a deadly pair of safeties, but he'd have made Harrison's injury last season much easier to overcome.

• My wife is being quiet. Too quiet. Whoops, she speaks: "Can I change it? I'm kidding. We need another TV in this house. This is boring. Have you published yet? You should hit publish."

• (Hitting publish while gently weeping . . .)

• Third and 9, Denver, from their own 2. Plummer dodges Mike Vrabel in the end zone, then slithers around Junior Seau for the first down. Very, very impressive improvisation, the type of play Plummer does so well. Have to admit, I'm a longtime fan dating back to his Arizona St. days, and with his job in jeopardy after a shaky start to the season, I expect him to play well tonight. He might not be that reliable, but the dude is resilient.

• My wife, scanning through the TV listings menu: " 'Misery' is on. We saw that on our first date." Me: "Damn, that couldn't have been more appropr . . ." WHACK!!.

• Score after the first quarter: New England 0, Denver 0, but the Pats are moving the ball . . .

SECOND QUARTER
. . . until Maroney is stuffed on fourth and 1 from the Denver 36. Have to admit, I was giddy to hear Shanahan say the Pats got a steal in Maroney and that Denver would have taken him had Jay Cutler (supposedly No. 1 on their draft board) not been available. I mean, you gotta respect the Broncos' acumen with running backs. Terrell Davis, Olandis Gary, Mike Anderson, Tatum Bell . . . when was they last time they missed on one?



Oh . . . right.

• Plummer is 0 for his last 7 pass attempts. Shanahan, who in his sunnier moods looks like Norman Bates, appears to be ready to wallop him to the ground with his clipboard, choke him with his headset, then repeatedly stab him with his pencil. Hey, how do you think he got rid of Danny Kanell?

• . . . and then in his typically schizophrenic manner, Plummer suddenly finds a rhythm, hitting someone named David Kirkus twice, eventually getting all the way down to the New England 9. Then Rod Smith (who else?) gets seven on third and 6 to set up first and goal at the 2.

• The Pats hold 'em to 3, thanks to a holding penalty, Ty Warren's continued spot-on impersonation of Richard Seymour, and a blind-side blitz by Rosey Colvin that forced an incompletion. Not a bad way to salvage things, and with 7:20 left in the half, it's Denver 3, New England 0.

• That ubiquitous but heartwarming Dwyane Wade commercial just came on for the 20th time . . . you know, the one where he gives all the stuff to the youth program. I say to my wife, "That's Dwyane Wade. He's one of the best basketball players I've ever seen." Her reply: "From 'A Different World'?" You know, I bet Shaq would like that joke.

• Not sure I heard correctly, but I think Al Michaels just said Chris Simms had a blood transfusion. Yikes. We'll put a moratorium on the jokes. [Turns out it was a ruptured spleen, and his season is likely over. The truly frightening/astounding thing is that after feeling extremely ill during the game, he returned to lead a fourth-quarter drive. We sure can't question this kid's toughness again.]

• Denver hasn't given up a touchdown this season, but the Pats are making a bid thanks to Maroney, who blew up for 31 yards on a screen pass to get to the Broncos 19. The Pats haven't had a back who can move like this kid since Curtis Martin was winning over Bill Parcells.

• Andrea Kremer climbs back up on her trusty Oakhurst crate and tells us Dillon has returned to the locker room with an "arm" injury. That could be anything from a scratch to amputation at the shoulder in Pats-speak, but she says he's probable to return. Either way, looks like it's on Maroney for now.

• Three straight incompletions, and Sisson . . er, Gostkowski comes out and promptly gets his second consecutive field-goal attempt blocked. Madden immediately blames the poor field conditions, but man, that's tough to excuse considering the field is always in lousy shape. Whoever's fault it is, I know this much to be true: Somewhere, Glenn Ordway is chortling through a mouth stuffed full of Cheez Balls.

• Third and 8, Denver, from their own 48. You know what comes next: Rod Smith, 18 yards, first down. I swear, if this guy gets to Canton someday, his personal highlight film will come entirely from games against the Patriots.

• At the 2-minute warning, NBC just showed Brady's stats: 10 for 15, 115 yards. Not. Good. Enough.

• On third and 1 with 50 seconds left in the half, Javon Walker gets a step on Ellis Hobbs in single coverage, and Plummer makes the kind of throw we've come to expect from Brady. The result: Touchdown, Denver. Gutsy call, and the visitors lead, 10-0. Suddenly it's mighty quiet in Foxboro.

• The Pats' 2-minute drill stalls at midfield, Brady rips off his chinstrap Peyton-style and absolutely looks like he's moping, and home team trots off the field to scattered boos. I'm guessing this isn't quite the way Belichick drew it up.

Score at halftime: Denver 10, New England 0

THIRD QUARTER
• Maroney takes the kickoff back to the 23. I HATE having him taking kickoffs. He's too valuable, especially now that Dillon has been downgraded to questionable. Put Faulk back there.

• Pats go three-and-out, and John "I'd Take A Knee Here" Madden, just jostled from his halftime nap, is writing the team's eulogy already: "The Patriots just can't get anything going. Cris Collinsworth was just talking about it at halftime, the whole body-language of Brady and their offensive players and their sideline . . . they just don't look like the champion Patriots we're used to seeing." Now, normally I'd rip him for this sort of thing . . . but I think I wrote about it myself three paragraphs ago, so I've gotta agree with him here, if only to avoid being a hypocrite. Truth is, Brady looks like he's thinking about Deion Branch with every incomplete pass. And as great as Brady is, don't you dare suggest that he doesn't have horrible body language sometimes - slumping his shoulders, staring at the ground, looking like he'd just lost his beloved Fido. Hell, the coaches supposedly talked to him about it last week.

• Uh-oh. Rodney Harrison leaves with an injury. Great. Next play, Plummer targets his replacement, James Sanders, and Sanders obliges, interfering with Kirkus for a 30-yard penalty. That's smart football on Denver's part, and horrible coverage by Sanders. I'm pissed.

• Chad Scott makes a big hit to bust up a pass to Walker on third-and-7, preventing a first down. Shockingly, Rod Smith did not drop out of the heavens to catch ball milliseconds before it hit the ground. He's slipping in his old age.

• Three and out again, with Brady overthrowing a slightly open Troy Brown on a flea-flicker. Say this for the Broncos' defense: They know how to defend a team with no wide receivers.

• How's this for a horrifying thought: What if Brady's weekly listing on the injury report (probable, arm) actually isn't a superstition or an attempt to tweak the NFL rulesmakers, but a clue that maybe a physical problem is the reason for his subpar play? I tell you, the way he's throwing the ball, it's time to consider it.

• Denver is pinned at the 2 when Darrent Williams pulls a Deltha O'Neal on the punt and barely avoids a safety. Says Madden: "This is where Bill Belichick needs to be a defensive genius." Plummer promptly hits Rod Goddamn Smith for 10 yards, thanks to a Chris Canty-like 11-yard cushion by the maddening Asante Samuel.

• [begin whine] Samuel is hit with a phantom pass interference call, and I just had a flashback to last season's playoff game, when the refs sometimes seemed hellbent on making the Pats play 11 men against 13. Is Shanahan the head of officiating or something? Cripes, it would be really swell if the Patriots got a call against Denver one of these seasons. [end whine]

• 5:16 remaining in the third quarter, and Brady's deep post to Reche Caldwell is tipped away at the last second to stall another series. Yup, at this point I'm left to report near-misses, almost-completions and Reche Friggin Caldwell sightings. This is going fantastically well!

• Did Ben Watson dress for this game? He did? Really? You'd think someone being hailed as Antonio Gates + Ben Coates + the Elder Kellen Winslow would be, you know, noticeable.

• Harrison is back, and Tedy Bruschi has been all over the place. So they've got that going for them, which is nice.

• They just showed the replay of Watson running down Bailey in last season's playoff game. Astounding, astounding hustle and athleticism. One of the most impressive plays I've ever seen, even if it was ultimately meaningless. I hereby apologize for bitching about him a minute ago.

• Brady, incomplete deep to Doug Gabriel. Good to know he's active. I honestly wasn't sure. [Edit: Turns out he didn't play in the first half.] Anyway, another three-and-out. None of the quick-slant, timing stuff is working. (Where have you gone, David Givens?) Josh Miller is their best offensive weapon. I wonder if Pink can play receiver. Or linebacker.

• Madden, who's surprisingly insightful tonight: "The Patriot offense just looks like they're frustrated. They're having trouble getting anything going, and it looks like it's affecting them. Watch their body language - they're all just kind of hunched over and walking off the field. Football is a game of passion and emotion, and when you lose that, you don't have anything . . . I hate to use the word sleepwalking, but they're sleepwalking out there." Gotta say, the Human Turducken is absolutely correct here. I thought the long faces were supposed to be limited to the Broncos' helmets. Not so far. After three quarters, it's 10-0, ElwayFaces.

FOURTH QUARTER
• The Broncos are starting inside their own 5 for the third time tonight. Doesn't logic suggest Plummer should throw a stupid-ass pick one of these times? He's playing with the poise of a quarterback who's very secure in his job. Quick, put a shot of Cutler on the JumboTron.

• And this one's over. Plummer, a split second before he's turned into snakeskin by Richard Seymour, hits Walker down the left sideline on third and 6, and the ex-Packer who nearly became a Patriot in the offseason splits the useless Sanders (in for a cramping Eugene Wilson) and the overmatched Samuel, and goes 82 yards for the backbreaker. Denver goes 97 yards in five plays, it's 17-0, and the camera catches Belichick expressing the sentiments of New England fans everywhere: "You've gotta be ------- kidding me."

• WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED? I SWITCH CHANNELS, COME BACK, AND THE PATS HAVE 7 POINTS? COULD THERE BE HOPE? SHOULD I STOP WATCHING AS NOT TO JINX THEM? AND WHY THE $*$**@ AM I WRITING IN ALL CAPS?

• (Oh, it was because I was behind on my DVR . . . and it was a long drive to boot. I'm ashamed. Leave it to me to miss their only touchdown. Have I mentioned I love Doug Gabriel?)

• Pats get the ball back, but go three-and-out. Arggh. I'd like to witness one highlight tonight. Five minutes left and they need two scores. Not looking good.

• The Pats' dink-and-dunk down the field, but on fourth and 1 from the 20 with 1:07 remaining, Brady's 55th pass of the night falls to the sod, and the suspenseless defeat is complete. Final score: Denver 17, New England 7. Good think the AFC East stinks, or it might be time to worry why the Patriots quarterback has had three subpar games in a row and looks like he's trying to throw the damn deep ball all the way to Seattle.

• So what are our instant conclusions from this? Well, obviously, that Denver is, at the moment, a superior football team. They've beaten the Pats, the closest thing to a dynasty in the modern NFL, six times in their last seven meetings, and Denver very well could have won the lone game they lost. They should be the favorite every time they play the Patriots from here on out, and their Genius Coach is one step ahead of our Genius Coach. Maybe by the time the playoffs roll around New England will be a worthy (and even superior) opponent, but right now they have a long way to go to even pretend to be a Super Bowl contender. The wide receivers and the quarterback look like they are working from different playbooks, the defensive backs are tripping all over each other, and the big names on defense aren't making big plays - or even stopping the Tatum Bells of the world - when the situation pleads for it. I trust that, given good health, the Patriots will be a better team at the end of the season than they are right now; that's usually the case with a Belichick team, and hey, they are 2-1. But three games into the season, they hardly look like the team we hoped they'd be, and they've got some long yardage to go to get there.