Fever pitch

It was the great unanswered question of this Red Sox offseason: Will Daisuke Matsuzaka call Fenway Park home in 2007? And now that it has been answered with a resounding "yes," an affirmation that can be heard all the way to the heart of the Pacific Rim, and now that we've tracked the flight plan of John Henry's plane on Sons of Sam Horn, cheered the would-be ace's arrival on the tarmac, watched every last minute of the "Matsuzaka Marathon" and the surreal press conference on NESN, and wondered just what he makes of all of this, here are a few more questions and answers regarding the new No. 18 in your program:

Did Theo Epstein and the Sox front office handle this as flawlessly as it appears? Let's put it this way: This entire situation has restored my wavering faith in this front office. Make no mistake, Theo Epstein, Larry Lucchino and the rest played the game brilliantly, from beginning to end. They targeted Matsuzaka as the pitcher they simply had to have this offseason, blew the dumbstruck Yankees and everyone else out of the water with the eye-popping posting bid, realized they had all the leverage and held their ground despite Scott Boras's transparent but effective make-'em-sweat negotiating machinations, and ultimately signed a 26-year old pitcher whom everyone in baseball likes (more on that in a second) to a six-year deal for an annual average salary that is more than $2 million less than that of career mediocrity Gil Meche. Yeah, I'd say they handled it flawlessly. I haven't felt this good about this management team since October, 2004.

Will he live up to the Japanese Pedro billing, will he be the second coming of the Fat *$&#@ Toad, or will he be something in between? Let's get something straight right away: he will not be another Pedro. Petey's stretch of dominance from '98-'00 was a once-in-a-fan's-lifetime gift from the sports gods, and it's not fair to ask anyone to live up to that standard. Now, with that disclaimer out of the way . . . I'm convinced he's going to be very good, as in Cy Young-candidate-good, and I believe that for this reason: Even when those in the know around baseball were taken aback by the Sox's enormous posting bid, no one - and I mean no one - questioned whether Matsuzaka was a worthwhile investment. I am yet to hear or read comments from a scout or an insider with first-person familiarity with Matsuzaka who does not believe he's going to be an outstanding major league pitcher immediately. From what I've seen (thanks, YouTube) and heard, he looks like a young Mike Mussina, but with a better fastball, and while that's not Pedro territory, you're damned right it's high praise. Man, I cannot wait to watch this kid throw the baseball.

Was there a specific point during the negotiations when you became certain a deal would happen? When ESPN's Steve Phillips said it wouldn't. Seriously. How did that boob-with-a-pulpit ever get a GM gig? He must have nudie pictures of the owner groping Mr. Met or something. Actually, as I wrote a few days, I thought this was going to happen all along, despite the tension and posturing by both sides during the negotiations. A deal simply made sense for everyone involved: The Sox clearly were sincere in their desire of the player and were willing to pay a reasonable price, Matsuzaka has hungered to pitch in the majors for a few years now and had no intention of returning to Japan for another season, the financially strapped Seibu ballclub had already announced how it was allocating the posting fee and may or may not have been in cahoots with the Sox regarding a threat to send Matsuzaka to the minors if he returned, and Boras needed to make a deal or risk losing credibility with a Japanese public that does not look upon greed as favorably as does a lizard-skinned baseball agent. Despite all the countdown-clock drama, the signing was inevitable.

What's the Japanese word for "guts"? To put it another way, can he handle the pressure of Boston? Ah, the question every self-important TV talking head is oh-so-seriously contemplating these days. We're only going to say this once, so listen up, all you vacant hairdos and Jim Rome wannabes: Matsuzaka became a national icon in Japan when he was in high school; he's carried the weight of a nation on his right shoulder for eight years, and despite the pressure, he somehow managed to emerge as the premier pitcher in the land. Something tells me he's going to be just fine handling the weight of Red Sox Nation. As for the melodramatic overkill of the last few days? He's used to it; I worry more for his teammates, who are in for a claustrophobic surprise when they realize how many Japanese media will be cramming into their clubhouse every day. But given what he's put up with already, a few bleacher blowhards and yowling ninnies like Gary Tanguay aren't going to affect him, though it probably helps that he doesn't speak much English. (I did love Shaughnessy's suggestion that Matsuzaka throw out his AM radio. Heaven knows I should do the same.)

Why is Doug Mirabelli gently weeping into his chicken parm? Because yesterday was supposed to be his day, dammit. And he didn't even get a police escort this time! You can bet Dr. Charles Steinberg will be hearing about this. You do not treat the world's most famous .193-hitting, 36-year-old backup catcher this way without having hell to pay!

Did Glenn Ordway, in the rare moments when he wasn't instigating a catfight between vapid Steve Burton and disingenuous Dale Arnold today, actually stumble upon a great idea? Shockingly, yes, when he suggested NESN should air a handful of Matsuzaka's Japanese League games so fans could have a chance to become familiar with him. It's a shrewd idea to feed our baseball jones while filling out those blase winter programming blocks, and I'd be surprised if Tom Werner hadn't already begun looking into it. Come to think of it, Ordway probably lifted the idea from him.

As for today's Completely Random Baseball Card:


Speaking of Ordway, judging by his pronunciation, I'm pretty sure he thinks this guy is Matsuzaka's agent. It's Bor-ASS, Glennie. You'd think he'd be familiar with the second syllable.

Weekend update

Ten free minutes for me, 10 free lunatic rantings for you . . .


1. I'm trying not to be overconfident here, but dammit, after their vintage performance during Viking Evisceration, I just can't help but believe this to be truth: The Patriots are going to destroy Colts. Laurence Maroney and Corey Dillon, who basically had a bye last week, are going to run wild against that porous Indy run defense. Tom Brady will again prove he is his generation's Montana to Peyton Manning's Marino, deep-frying the poor backup Colts safeties filling in for Bob Sanders and Mike Doss. And a defense that was picked apart by Manning Patriots-Colts a season ago now has the personnel to befuddle him the way they did in their six previous victories; remember, last season, Rodney Harrison and Richard Seymour were injured, Tedy Bruschi was in Week 2 of his comeback, Mike Vrabel was playing out of position, Chad Scott (who has been excellent) was on IR, unsung Artrell Hawkins was unemployed, Randall Gay was starting at safety, and someone named Mike Stone was the nickelback. Hell, Archie Manning could have shredded that defense. This defense? Let me put it this way: You can win a Super Bowl with this defense. And around midnight Sunday evening, it's going to be clear even to the Michael Irvins of the world that the Patriots are positioning themselves to do just that. Man, this feels like a playoff game. I can't wait.

2. Funny how so many in the electronic media seem to have forgotten this week that Adam Vinatieri's departure from the Patriots was just as much, if not more, his choice than it was Scott Pioli's or Bill Belichick's. It's almost as if the vocal, anti-Belichick posse is openly rooting for him to boot a winning kick on Sunday, thus teaching that cheapskate franchise a lesson it has longed deserved. Cripes, it's such nonsense. Listen, no one is going to coerce me into saying a bad word about Vinatieri or his unmatched legacy here: he was the only kicker I've completely believed in with a game on the line, he's booted at least two and as many as four of the most clutch kicks in league history, and he absolutely deserves a place in the Hall of Fame when all is said and done. I just wish some of the people getting paid to comment on this team would tell the entire truth: Vinatieri was the highest-paid kicker in the NFL on a couple of occasions during his time with the Patriots, he was offended that he wasn't paid more, suspected his previous agent colluded with the Patriots, and ultimately chose to leave. I'm not saying that's wrong. I'm just saying that's how it is. The Patriots, despite their concerns over his troublesome back, his decreasing range, and his limp kickoffs, did want to retain him at a reasonable price. It's unjust that they are being portrayed as kicking him to the curb, because any check of the basic facts will tell you that is not how it went down.

3. Am I the only one who got the sense that Glenn Ordway would not have been high on Red Auerbach's list of people to emcee a celebration of his life? Judging by the more-than-a-smattering of boos that greeted the Big Orb at the Garden the other night, apparently not, though he and Red did have one thing in common: both were remarkably adept at blowing smoke.

4. Just saw the news crawl across the NESN ticker: Francisco Liriano, the Twins' phenom lefty, needs Tommy John surgery and will likely miss the entire 2007 season. It's hardly unexpected, given the recurring pain he felt in his elbow when he tried to return late in the season, but it's sad news nonetheless. Liriano was the most overpowering, downright exciting pitcher I saw last season - watching him burst onto the scene reminded me of Dwight Gooden's arrival/ascendancy in '84/'85 - and it's a shame for baseball fans everywhere that a pitcher of such great ability and promise is now just one more scarred question mark.

5. So Captain Fist-Pump fulfills our previous warning and prances off with the Gold Glove that belongs on Gonzo's mantel. And it sure seems a forgone conclusion that he's going to beat out Papi, Justin Morneau, and half-dozen equally deserving candidates to win the AL MVP award. So I gotta ask: How the bleep are the fawning nitwit voters going to figure out a way to get him the Cy Young Award too?

6. Two games down, 80 to go, and I've seen nothing to alter my suspicion that the Celtics are an intriguing collection of individuals who fit poorly as a team. I like just about every single player on this roster to some extent (though Tony Allen, still clueless and no longer the sky-scraping athlete after his knee injury, is fast falling out of favor), but the mix just isn't right. I trust Danny Ainge is well aware of this, and I'm willing to believe he has stockpiled young talent in order to swap some of it for the right top-tier veteran if the opportunity arises. Personally, I think Kevin Garnett would look terrific in green.

7. Did you hear the big news? The Sox let Bill Haselman "pursue other opportunities" today. Yep, looks like we're looking for a new first base coach next season. I wonder if Baseball Prospectus might have a list of the best candidates, maybe broken down into the key statistical categories: Fewest Runners Thrown Out At Second, Most Attaboys Offered Per Baserunner, Most Accurate At Giving A Fist-Pound, etc, etc. Goddamn, I need this hot stove to heat up already. Other than all the intriguing Daniel Bard rumors - could he be the next Justin Verlander? - there is just nada going on right now.

8. I don't know who is winning the NBA title this season, but I can tell you who isn't: The Miami Heat. For all of Dwyane Wade's greatness - the only player I'd rather have than him is LeBron - he's going to be going at it alone a lot more than the experts realize, and if he continues to take more hits than David Carr and misses any length of time, this team will crumble. I can see Shaq's age, weight and regular-season indifference leading to a shockingly precipitous decline, 'Zo, 'Toine and Gary Payton are a year older and, you'd have to believe, considerably more complacent, and the bench is thinner than Tony Parker's girlfriend. It all went right for Miami last year. Despite Wade's best efforts, it won't happen again.

9. The latest episode of "The Office" was far and away the best in what thus far has been a funny but uneven season. Two questions that linger: What was Fancy New Beesley talking about when she said she "was expecting something to happen tonight"? And what, exactly, was the content of that text message that Jim was too blitzed to pick up? Thursday, and the pivotal episode titled "Branch Closing," can't come soon enough.

10. As for today's Completely Random Tony Dungy Photo:

Looking at him now, would you have ever believed he'd played professional football? And that he had to tackle people?

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Quick programming note: The plan is to live-blog the Pats-Colts game Sunday night, so be sure to stop by TATB and make yourself at home during the game. There's plenty of beer in the fridge. Help yourself, peeps.