Day of reckoning

Ten free minutes for me, 10 free game-used U.L. Washington toothpicks for you . . .


1. All I ask of the Mitchell Report when the juicy details are revealed today is this: Please, not Papi. And if there's no mention of Manny, well, I'd be grateful for that, too. Clemens is all yours, however.

2. Bo Jackson is the most dynamic, electrifying athlete I've ever seen, and to all you kids who think us 30-something geezers are exaggerating his exploits, all I can say is you'll never understand what you missed. But as the great Joe Posnanski reminded me recently, Herschel Walker, in his freshman year at Georgia, was a phenomenon in his own right, as breathtaking and charismatic and unstoppable as Bo at his all-too-brief peak. These two stories - this ESPN feature on Bo, and Poz's on Herschel - are delightful flashbacks, the next best thing to watching them play again.

3. Whenever I'm worried about the Patriots' chances in a particular game, they have a uncanny habit of absolutely pulverizing their opponent that week, which I suppose bodes well for this Sunday's uncivil war with the Jets. Because, well . . . I'm a little nervous about this one, particularly if the Mother Nature decides to even the playing field a little bit by dumping a foot of snow in Foxboro Sunday morning. Now, I don't think the Pats will lose, mind you, not with revenge on their minds and malice in the hearts - at this point, I wouldn't be stunned if Belichick attempted to pistol-whip the reprehensible Eric Mangini during the postgame handshake. It's just that the Jets aren't that bad, and a point-spread of 20-something strikes me as a little bit ridiculous. (And now that I've said that, call your bookies and bet the over.)

4. Very interesting timing of that Miguel Tejada trade, wouldn't you say?

5. I do miss "The Office," though I'll admit the show was . . . just a little off this season, I guess. I got the sense that the writers hadn't quite figured out how to handle the new Jim/Pam dynamic; the characters' understated longing for each other, so subtle and heartfelt through the first three seasons, always provided the balance to the over-the-top antics of Michael and Dwight. Their emotions kept the show grounded in reality. This season, with Pam and Jim the seemingly happy, boring couple, the show teetered toward the ridiculous (example: Michael driving his car into a pond) a little too often. I am confident the writers will hit their stride once their strike ends, whenever that may be. The people behind this show are too smart to let it become just another sitcom.

(As for the obligatory Official Muse of TATB, Non-Wife Division photo . . . well, I know what's expected of me. Here you go:)



(Wait! You mean there's a whole slideshow? Parade magazine, you are awesome! I'll be in my room.)

6. Before he went 0 for 4 from the field in tonight's win over the Kings, none other than Rajon Rondo had the highest field goal percentage among all guards in the NBA (.547). That's a little bit misleading, of course, considering that he rarely shoots unless it's a wide-open look or a layup, and actually, I wish he'd shoot more. Rondo's a delight to watch just for his sheer athleticism and quickness, but I wish that he's stop kicking the ball out to the perimeter so often after he blows by his defender. It's almost like he can get to the hoop at will, but he's still too unselfish after that initial move. Who knows, if he stops passing up open layups, maybe he'll get that shooting percentage even higher.

7. I don't think Jim Rice will get into the Hall of Fame this year, and if I'm being completely honest, I'm not certain he deserves to. (Check out his home/road splits sometime.) But I sincerely hope Cooperstown does call for him on this, his 14th year on the ballot. I could argue that I think he should be enshrined because he's was the American League's most feared slugger for the better part of a decade, but really, I'm crossing my fingers for him because Rice was one of my childhood heroes, and I still can't help but root for him.

8. One more reason it's too bad Harry Caray's not still around: I suspect he would really come up with some very interesting pronunciations of new Cubs outfielder Kosuke Fukudome's name.

9. While snooping around profootballreference.com the other day, I stumbled upon this almost unbelievable statistic: In 1998, the San Diego Chargers' quarterbacks - a couple of scatter-armed gems named Ryan Leaf and Craig Whelihan - combined for 10 touchdown passes and 34 interceptions. I'm not saying it was the worst QB tandem in NFL history, but I'm pretty sure watching those two on his TV every Sunday is what killed Don Coryell. Junior Seau and Rodney Harrison both played on that team. Something tells me they appreciate Tom Brady even more than most.

10. As for today's Completely Random Football Card:


Wednesday marked the 25th anniversary of the infamous Snowplow Game. So yeah, I guess you can pinpoint the exact moment Don Shula's irrational hatred for the Patriots began.

Tito, get me a tissue

Ten free minutes for me, 10 free throwaway lines for you . . .


1. It's reassuring that the Red Sox took care of their most personnel business early in the offseason, signing Mike Lowell and Curt Schilling to reasonable, fair deals, and all but ensuring that next year's team will look a whole lot like the one that ended this season so triumphantly. But there is still one more matter that needs to be resolved in the next few weeks for this offseason to be considered a complete success: Theo Epstein must give Terry Francona, who has one year remaining on his contract, the lucrative extension he deserves. You know how I feel about Francona, and I trust those of you with clear eyes and at least a dollop of common sense feel the same: He's is the best Red Sox manager of this and perhaps any era. There is no one else I would rather have running this baseball team, and he deserves to be at the top of the managerial pay scale. I have little reason to believe this is the case right now, but if Theo and his underlings somehow actually subscribe to the Billy Beane theory that the importance of a manager is vastly overrated, then they are making a grievous, inexcusable error. Francona is necessary. They'd better realize as much.

2. Someone with an appreciation and knowledge of defensive line play, answer me this: Is Richard Seymour doing the kinds of things that don't show up on the stat sheet - commanding a double team, collapsing the pocket, making life easier for the linebackers, etc. - or is he, as the stat sheet suggests, doing nothing at all? Because right now, I'm beginning to think it's the latter, and I'm wondering what became of the game-altering beast who wreaked such havoc a few seasons ago.

3. Dr. Charles Steinberg, the Red Sox' Vice President of Schmaltz who is leaving the Red Sox for the Dodgers, always struck me as the Smithers to Larry Lucchino's Mr. Burns, and I have to assume he's to blame for such insidious adominations as the Red Sox Nation Presidency and that trainwreck dating show on NESN. Yet when Steinberg got it right, he really got it right, most notably regarding the pitch-perfect 2004 ring ceremony, and I suppose the fact that the Sox are more popular than ever has at least something to do with his marketing savvy. I won't miss him, but then, as a lifelong and eternally loyal Sox fan, I'm not who he was trying to appeal to anyway.

4. TATB's two favorite Celtics moments from the past week: 1) Ray Allen's improbable, delightful buzzer-beater at Charlotte, which happened only after Paul Pierce had the presence of mind to feed him the ball rather than heave up an ill-advised attempt of his own. Hey, he's learning. 2) Rajon Rondo's behind-the-back fake that deked Derek Fisher out of his tube socks, an impossibly athletic move that Rondo finished off with a layup. Eddie House was so pumped and jacked after Rondo's highlight-reel move that he comically ran onto the court and whacked him with a towel as play continued. Man, this is a fun team.

5. You know your perspective as a Red Sox fan has undergone a healthy change when you hear reports that the Yankees are in trade discussions with the Twins for ace Johan Santana, and your initial reaction is something along the lines of this: Huh. I guess we'll just have to keep Buchholz and Ellsbury then. Seriously, it's a refreshingly satisfying feeling to know that the Yankees are chasing the Sox now, and in order to get the 28-year-old two-time Cy Young winner, they'll have to give up some of that quality youth (hopefully Philip Hughes and Robinson Cano) that their ancient, thin roster so desperately needs.

6. I still don't think I was wrong in assuming the discovery of a 10-pound hairball in a person's stomach had something to do with Fred Smerlas.

7. Ideally, they'd both be back next season, and I'd say right now there's decent chance they both will be. But I'll ask the question anyway: If the Patriots can retain only one marquee-free-agent-to-be, who would you prefer it to be? Randy Moss or Asante Samuel? Discuss.

8. I think Bill Belichick is much more sentimental than his dour public persona would suggest - he's given Doug Flutie and Vinny Testaverde their moments in the sun in recent seasons for no reason other than it was a nice, respectful gesture to a couple of old pros - and it's going to be fascinating to see if his obvious admiration for Troy Brown affects the decision to add him to the active roster or not. I hate to say it, but at the moment, there just doesn't seem to be a spot for ol' No. 80 on the offensive side of the ball, especially with Jabar Gaffney being so dependable as a fourth receiver and Kelley Washington such a force on special teams. Though, come to think of it, the way things are going with the DBs lately, maybe Brown will be playing nickel back for this team by December.


9. It won't happen this year, but Tim Raines, one of the notable newbies on the 2008 Hall of Fame ballot revealed yesterday, deserves a plaque in Cooperstown. The man they called "Rock" didn't get his due for a couple of reasons: he played in the same era as the transcendent Rickey Henderson, he spent his finest seasons in the distant outpost of Montreal, and he was tarnished by a drug problem early in his career. But Raines was one of the most dynamic, efficient, and underrated offensive performers of the '80s, and he was a superior player to, among other Hall of Famers, Lou Brock. (Go ahead: look it up. Or better yet, read this.) Like I said, it will never happen on the first ballot, but I do hope one of these years, Raines gets his just reward. And his ex-teammate and mentor Andre Dawson belongs there with him.

10. As for today's Completely Random Baseball Card:



Anytime an ex-Maine Guide/recovering coke head writes a book, you know I'm readin'.

. . . and featuring Doc Rivers as K.C. Jones

Part 1 of TATB's player-by-player look at your unbeaten, rejuvenated, and remarkably enjoyable Boston Celtics.


KEVIN GARNETT: Of course it's only appropriate that we start this thing with the fulcrum of it all. I think I got to the essence of what KG would bring to the Celtics when the deal first went down, but even those of us who long admired his work in Minnesota have enjoyed certain revelations. I knew he was unselfish, but I didn't realize he was such a clever and efficient passer, especially in feeding cutters from the low post. (If Paul Pierce doesn't set a career high for field-goal percentage, then he's not trying.) I knew he was an elite rebounder - the guy has led the league four years running, after all - but I didn't realize how easy he makes the game's hardest labor look; he's always in position, and if he gets his hand on the ball, you can be sure no one else is getting it. I've always tended to view overly vocal "emotional leaders" with a cynic's eye, but you can tell by the way his teammates react to him that there is absolutely no b.s. to Garnett's personality; he walks the walk, in the locker room and on the court, and everyone else follows. After Papi, he's the most charismatic athlete in New England at the moment, a certain Patriots quarterback included, and I'll let you know when I've wrapped my head around the reality that he actually plays for the Boston Celtics. I can't help but daydream how history would be different if Garnett had played his whole career here, but I'm also savoring every moment of watching him do everything in his power to restore a franchise's pride right now. Damn, this is fun.

KENDRICK PERKINS: He still looks like he's pre-planning his post moves rather than reading the defense and trusting his instincts, but with the offensive stalwarts now surrounding him, he's getting a lot of easy, uncontested shots, which theoretically should improve his self-confidence when the ball is in his hands. He should shoot 55 percent blindfolded, not that his offense matters on this team. He's here to do the little things - rebound, block shots, stick an elbow in Vince Carter's sternum whenever the opportunity arises - and Perkins does those things with increasing efficiency. He's a decent complement to Garnett up front, and it has not gone unnoticed how hard he's worked to shed his rookie-year baby fat and become a physically imposing NBA power forward. He's still a kid (23), yet he conducts himself like the consummate pro. Here's hoping Big Baby is paying attention.

RAJON RONDO: I think he's doing just fine, don't you? Sure, sometimes he looks like he has his master's degree from the Marcus Banks Academy of Pointless Dribbling, and I wish he was just a little bit more natural as a playmaker (as does the suddenly visible Bob Cousy, who nonetheless gives "Way-jon Wand-o" the benefit of the doubt, something he's been reluctant to do with young point guards, from Chauncey Billups to Banks to Sebastian Telfair.) But he's a demon defensively, he's so beep-beep! quick that he often beats his man off the dribble even when the defender is giving him the jumper, he's got moves like Plastic Man when he's finishing in the open court, and the early morning work he reportedly puts in with Ray Allen is paying off with a gradually improving jumper. Rondo's a bright, talented kid who seems to have the dedication to improve. Can't really ask for much more than that from any second-year player.

TONY ALLEN: Probably the only player on the team I don't particularly like. Yes, I know he's still not fully recovered from a major knee injury, and that has at least temporarily robbed him of his two main attributes as a player: his explosive leaping ability and his quickness on the defensive end. Which leaves him with . . . not much. Allen's basketball IQ is about what you'd expect from someone who blew out his knee dunking after the whistle. He handles the ball like his fingers are fused together (who were Doc and Danny kidding by suggesting he could handle backup duty at the point?), he's perpetually out of control - or should I say "Toine-like" - when he's attempting to run the break, and he's beginning to strike me as a reluctant passer. If his pre-injury athleticism never comes back, he might find himself wearing a Yakima Sun Kings jersey before he knows it.

BRIAN SCALABRINE: Funny what playing for a good team and with talented teammates will do for a player's perception. Scal is never going to look graceful at, well, anything, and he seems to be one of those guys who plays to the level of those around him; remember, when he was with those good Nets teams, he was a very useful role player who more than once tormented the Celtics. When he tries to do too much, sure, he can look like that awkward stiff from your Rec League team, but he plays fearlessly, sets a mean pick, knocks down an occasional three, and seems intent on showing Celtics fans that he's a better player than he showed a season ago. I might go so far as to say he'll be a fan favorite by season's end, a more useful version of Lakers-era Mark Madsen. However, no matter how well he fits with Garnett and friends, we must admit that he'll always be our second-favorite translucent redhead in the Association as long as Matt Bonner is around. Concord, N.H. . . . represent!

EDDIE HOUSE: We've already seen that the journeyman guard can, and will, shoot it. (If ESPN Classic actually existed anymore other than in name, I'd love to see his 61-point game from his gunnin' days at Arizona State. Sadly, an endless loop of the 2003 World Series of Poker takes precedence over anything, you know, classic.) But his real gift? Comedy. This is from ":07 Seconds Or Less," Jack McCallum's casual look at the '06 Suns, for whom House provided as many punchlines as jump shots:

House . . . is able to get to an insult with maximum expedience. He looked at James Jones's size 18 sneakers one day and said: "How do you play basketball with them big-ass skis on your feet?" When [Boris] Diaw entered the locker room wearing a pair of retro short shorts, House said, "Damn, Boris, you gotta pull your shoes up." And when [Raja] Bell showed up in a strangely patterned brown jacket, tight-fitting and zippered just below the waist, House took one look at him and said, "Damn, Rah-Rah, you look like ----------- luggage."

Comcast Sports Net should give this guy his own reality show, immediately. Or maybe he and Scal can do a buddy flick together, the hoops version of Nolte and Murphy in "48 Hours." Naturally, it would be called. . . . (drum roll) . . . "48 Minutes."

(Groan.)

And on that note, I'm heading off to bed to dream of banner No. 17 (hopefully with a plotline that includes some Beesley). I'll be back in the day or two with a look at Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, and the rest of the roster.

Quiz me

Sorting through my email, both real and imagined . . .

• From reader Chris L.: To borrow a phrase from the late, great Pedro Martinez: Where you been, man?

Yeah, about TATB's nine-day hiatus . . . um, sorry about that. I do have a prepared list of excuses if you're ready for them. I've been working until 2 a.m. a lot more recently, which is cutting into my early-hours writing time. I've been sick as hell - I swear, my 2-year-old brings home virus strains from day care that are yet to be discovered by our finest scientists. (I'm convinced my little Leah is the Typhoid Mary of the bird flu. Whooping cough, too.) On top of that, I've been trying to go cold-turkey with my Dunkin' Donuts coffee addition, which is giving me headaches so painful, I'm pretty sure Albert Haynesworth has been playing kickball with my head. Oh, yeah, and I went to the Foxy Lady one night. Talk about viruses.

• The Foxy Lady. Nice.

Yeah, it was a blast, if only because it was a retirement farewell for one of my favorite co-workers, and let's just say his sendoff was memorable. But I have to admit, peelers aren't so much my thing anymore. Maybe it's my rapidly advancing age, but part of it is the realization that they are such a financial scam - one I went to for a buddy's bachelor party in Portland a month or so ago gave you change only in the form of $2 bills. Think about that for a minute and then tell me they're not trying to get everything in your pocket right down to the lint. (Well, okay, not everything in your pocket.) And being a dad, Chris Rock's famous line about "a father's only duty in life is to keep his daughter off the pole," strikes me more as wisdom than comedy these days. I'm all for looking. But I ain't spending, especially $2 at a time. God, I sound old.

• So I trust you paid Mo Vaughn, the Fonzie of the Foxy, his proper respects?

Nah, we hit the one in Brockton. This was Triple A version. There's no Mo-level talent here. More like a Pat Dodson kind of place.

• From reader Jon J.: You buying the Rajon Rondo hype? He's looked amazing, but you keep hearing that Kentucky wasn't sad to see him go.

The hype is a little much right now - people are talking about him like he's the reincarnation of Penny Hardaway. (Wait . . . you mean Penny Hardaway's still alive? Really? L'il Penny, too? They haven't been seen in years.) That said, his athleticism is off the charts, he always seems to make the correct decision with the ball (something Delonte West struggles with), and he's so quick that he will score even without an adequate jump shot. And don't forget, Tubby Smith is a complete nimrod when it comes to coaching guards - if I recall correctly, he kept his own overmatched kid Saul at the point for two years, at the expense of the team's ultimate success. And the knock that Rondo played no defense in college is a complete lie. Every time I saw him play, he was bounding into the passing lanes and terrorizing whomever he was guarding. He is an excellent defender now, and he always has been. I'm sure he's got some flaws that veteran guards will expose, but he sure held his own against some guy named Kidd tonight, and along with Big Al, Sebastian Telfair and Gerald Green, he's one of the kids with enormous upside who make this team so intriguing. But to answer the question, I dig the hype, even if I'm reluctant to believe it for now. Anything to get people interested in the Celtics is okay by me.

• From reader Mike J.: Curious what your take on the NFL is after this weekend. The Pats haven't looked all that great, but you have to feel pretty good about things considering what's going on in Pittsburgh, Miami, Seattle, etc. The list of contenders for the Super Bowl isn't long.

I think you have to be jacked and pumped about the Patriots' long-term chances this season. Think about it: They're 5-1, the rest of their division would struggle in the Eastern Maine Women's Football League, Chad Jackson and Doug Gabriel look like they're now studying the same playbook as their quarterback, Asante Samuel is playing like he deserves a new contract, and the offensive and defensive lines are controlling the trenches. And don't forget, this team will get better. Every Patriots team in the Belichick Era has been better in the second half than in the first. With Denver's QB and left tackle issues, Pittsburgh's Super Bowl hangover, and the reality that Colts remain the Colts no matter how many times we're assured that this is their year, really, honest, we mean it this time . . . well, like I said, I'm jacked and pumped about the Patriots' long-term chances this season.

(Quick aside: Why is it that when a player leaves for the riches of free agency the Patriots are "cheap" and "don't pay their players" but when someone such as Dan Koppen foregoes the open market to sign a perfectly fair and lucrative contract, the theory parroted by the usual suspects is that he made a mistake by not seeing if more money was out there. Seems a bit disingenuous, no?)

A few other scattered NFL thoughts: We gave Peter King some grief for suggesting we pick up Bruce Gradkowski and Damon Huard in fantasy football, but it looks like Ol' Vente Latte Face himself knew what he was talking about . . . In a related note, has Sports Illustrated printed a retraction of its NFL preview after picking the friggin' Dolphins to go to the Super Bowl? . . . I simply cannot believe J.P. Losman was ever a first-round pick. He's terrible in so many different ways . . . Ben Roethlisberger must have nine lives, and I think he's used about six of them . . . Tiki Barber, whose retirement revelation certainly came at a curious time, had better realize that the only reason anyone cares what he has to say is because he's the star running back for the New York Giants . . . How does Peyton Manning fit practice in amid all his commercial shoots? . . . Joe Theismann is going to punch Tony Kornheiser right below his combover one of these Monday nights, and then, for the first time this season, they will actually be interesting . . . Thirteen years after they rescued the Patriots together, it sure looks like Drew Bledsoe and Bill Parcells are drifting away together . . . If Bledsoe retires because he's lost his job for the moment, well, he's not the competitor I thought he was. Then again, he hasn't improved since his second season, so maybe he was never much of a competitor at all.

• Did Bill Walton ever attempt to get stoned with a killer whale?


You know, I'm thinking there's a pretty decent chance he did.

• From reader Kristin B.: Who do you like in the World Series? I need to know, so I can pick the opposite and win stacks and stacks of cash.

Oh, okay, mock me, laugh at me, and disregard my opinion like I'm an incoherent Tim McCarver craving a Metamucil fix. Fine. But after going 0 for 4 on my picks in the first round, at least I got the Cardinals over the Mets right in the ALCS. I'll have you know, if you haven't heard already, that not one of ESPN's 19 alleged experts predicted that the Cardinals or the Tigers would reach the World Series. So as far as idiots go, I'm in good company. Anyway, I took the Cardinals in 7 here, and three games in, I'm sticking to it. So bet accordingly. Oh, and one more thing: After watching this postseason, I feel a lot better about the Sox's chances for a speedy recovery next year. These days, even the best teams have major flaws.

• So what was that disgusting stuff on Kenny Rogers' hand?

My wife said it looked like cat poop, which tells you we have too many damn cats in this house. You, me, and George Brett know it was pine tar, and the only reason Tony La Russa didn't make a bigger deal out of it is because he has at least one pitcher who does the same thing. Jeff Spicoli-Weaver is my guess. It's not a major offense anyway, but La Russa's always had a pretty high tolerance for cheaters.

• From reader Kevin G.: Any sleepers the Sox should go after in the offseason? A-Rod doesn't count.

You know, I was looking over the free agent list the other day, and . . . well, let's just say I understood why they re-signed Mike Timlin. There's just not a lot out there, particular for relief help. A few names that at least made me go "Hmmmm": Frank Catalanotto, Gregg Zaun, Octavio Dotel, Miguel Batista, Mark De Rosa, Aubrey Huff, Gil Meche, Ray King, Mark Mulder, J.C. Romero, Jamie Walker and Randy Wolf. See, I told you there was nothing.

• Finally, from my buddy CJ: Finnski, one of these days were going to have to have an in-depth analysis on your infatuation with the chick from The Office.

A'ight. Is this explanation enough, punk?



Or how about this?


Yes? No? Okay, then, here's my in-depth analysis. In her sweet and subtly subversive portrayal of Pam, the good-hearted secretary, Jenna Fischer reminds me so much of a girl I once married; her voice and mannerisms are a dead-on imitation of the chick currently sitting to the left of me on the couch and insisting that Clinton on "What Not To Wear" is not gay. Yeah, it's about that simple; she reminds me of my wife. Of course, I could add that in real life she's melt-the-elastic-on-your-boxers hot, comes across on her excellent MySpace page as grounded and grateful as anyone in Hollywood could possibly be, and beneath the office-crush persona has a sense of humor that is definitely Rated R. Seriously, some stuff is so hilariously vulgar that I probably shouldn't link to it, so let me just suggest Googling her recent "10 Things You Don't Know About Women" column for Esquire, as well as her trailer for the movie she wrote and directed, Lollilove. Jim Halpert would not believe those words are coming out of Pam's mouth.

• As for today's Completely Random Baseball Card:


Gotta say, I like the hiring of John Farrell as pitching coach, for reasons both logical and abstract: he's long been one of Gammons's Very Special People; everyone in the game raves about his deft touch with young pitchers; he's not named Al Nipper or Dave Wallace; during his pre-arm injury days with the Indians, he was a kick-ass pitcher in Strat-O-Matic; and lastly, in 1984, straight off the Oklahoma State campus, he helped pitch my Maine Guides into the International League finals. If those aren't attributes of a great pitching coach, frankly, I don't know what are. I'm slightly more skeptical about the Dave Magadan hiring, not only because he was described as "too intense" when the Padres replaced him as hitting coach, but because I think Papa Jack got royally screwed.

Notes mode

Ten free minutes for me, 10 free half-formed opinions for you:

1. Three scattered thoughts on the Pats: 1) I love the Jabar Gaffney signing. If he caught 55 balls last year playing with David Carr, he's more than qualified to be a third or fourth receiver for Tom Brady. 2) Stephen Gostkowski hasn't won my confidence when it comes to putting the ball through the uprights, but his booming kickoffs are justification enough for a secure place on the roster. He gives the Patriots a tremendous advantage in field position. 3) I'm glad to see Hank Poteat found work during the bye week, signing with the Jets. I trust he'll be released from Manginiville in time to rejoin the Pats next weekend at Buffalo.

2. The more I hear from Lou Piniella during his playoff stint in the Fox broadcast booth, the more I wish the Yankees had hired him to replace Torre. Piniella is everything the Yankees don't need at the moment - he's rash, temperamental, and judging by his broadcasting gig, shockingly ill-informed. Maybe Joe Torre isn't the greatest game strategist, and perhaps he hasn't a clue how to deal with A-Rod, but for the most part he's done a remarkable job of cajoling the Yankees' egos through the years, and his departure from New York would have been to the Red Sox' advantage. Rats.

3. I'm torn on whether or not I want the Yankees to deal A-Rod. On one hand, retaining The Cooler pretty much assures the Yankees of another tense summer, and further, I dread the thought of them getting, say, a budding ace such as Ervin Santana and a couple of quality prospects in return; hell, Santana straight up for A-Rod would make them a better team immediately. On the other hand, A-Rod's availability makes it more difficult for the Sox to deal Manny, and unless Theo can coerce Anaheim into giving up Santana (unlikely) or Texas into trading Mark Teixeira for the Sox's man-child, then I'm all for bringing Manny back for another drama-filled .310-35-120 season. His bat is worth the antics.

4. Billy Packer long ago claimed Rajon Rondo as his Binky/Mancrush - I'm pretty sure he talks in his sleep about the size of Rondo's hands - but if the Celtics' off-the-charts-electric rookie point guard can play as well when the games count as he has in the first two preseason games, a smitten Tommy Heinsohn might take over the wheel of the bandwagon. Heck, from what I've seen, he might quickly nudge aside Ryan Gomes as my favorite Celtic. While my expectations for this team hover around 40 wins, I'm looking forward to watching them play. I've always appreciated Paul Pierce's game, and Al Jefferson, Gerald Green, Sebastian Telfair, and Rondo will be entertaining despite their raw skills. Now if Heinsohn could just refrain from referring to Rondo in the same breath as Bob Cousy until he's played an actual game . . .

5. I'm not saying Stephen Jackson is the biggest numbskull in the NBA, but if you happened to mention to him that shooting a gun in the air isn't a good idea because, well, those bullets do fall back to earth, I'm pretty sure he'd look at you quizzically, call you a b----, and shoot his semiautomatic way up into the pretty sky again.

6. Judging by the taunts in my inbox, more than a few of you noticed that on my first-round playoff picks, I pulled an A-Rod - yep, I went an embarrassing 0 for 4. I feel like such a know-nothing boob that suddenly, Steve Lyons and Thom Brennaman are actually starting to sound insightful. So as a matter of repentance, I offer this: I think the Cardinals and A's (despite their 2-0 hole) will advance to the World Series, I suggest you bet the opposite, and once you're rolling in dough, we'll call it even, okay?

7. It's a good thing the White Sox let Frank Thomas go before cutting their sponsorship deal with 7-11, or . . . (and let me apologize for this in advance) . . . the Big Hurt might have been forced to change his name to the Big Gulp!!! (I know, I know. Groan. Sorry. I figured at least once I had to put a joke on here that my dad would laugh at.)

8. This probably does little to help my credibility, but as Alexis Gomez was circling the bases tonight, I was scrambling through the pages of the Baseball America Prospect Handbook, trying to figure out just who the hell he is. If the Tigers keep playing like this - and Jim Leyland keeps pushing all the right buttons in between drags on a Marlboro - I'm going to have to concede that all those fawning puff-piece articles on The Wisdom of Leyland might have been entirely justified.


9. The same words rattled around in all of our minds today as the story of Cory Lidle's fatal plane crash unfolded on our TV screens. Surreal. Tragic. Bizarre. Chilling. Yet in times like these, I never know how to string them together properly without sounding trite. So let me just say that my heart aches for his family, especially his 6-year-old boy, and I'll leave the rest to a writer who can comment with much more wisdom than I can.

10. As for today's baseball card:


For Yankees fans of a certain age, I'm sure the shock and sadness of today's events also brought some unwelcome flashbacks to Thurman Munson's death 27 years ago. As someone who still remembers Lyman Bostock's death more clearly than some milestone moments in my own life, all I can say is that I sympathize.

A few things I've been meaning to say

• Four factoids/observations on the Sox's phenom of a fourth starter, Jon Lester: 1) He was the prospect the Sox were going to ship to Texas in the A-Rod deal. 2) If the comparisons to a young Bruce Hurst are going to be completely valid, he needs to grow a kick-ass mustache, pronto. 3) He could walk the first 27 hitters he faces in his next start, and I'd still enjoy watching him pitch more than Matt Clement. 4) Before the season, the consensus among scouts is that he is a superior prospect to Jonathan Papelbon, and though Papelbon's newly devastating splitter has enhanced his repertoire, Lester might actually have better stuff. And that poise . . . I'm not sure many 10-year veterans would have the stones to throw David Wright a 3-2 curveball with the bases loaded. Hey, have I mentioned that I'm giddy about this kid?

• I know it's going to happen, and I'm trying to prepare myself accordingly, but damn, I am going to be pissed when Captain Jetes fist-pumps his way to another undeserved Gold Glove. If only Gonzo had calm eyes, McCarver-melting intangibles, and most importantly, 1 1/2-step range, he might have a chance.

• Betcha Matt Clement is being paid by the Sox to pitch for a National League team by August. Theo isn't afraid to cut his losses, and Gammons wrote a few weeks ago that the Sox GM admits he regrets the signing. Maybe he can go join fellow Class of 2005 washout Edgar Renteria in Atlanta.


• Coco Crisp's catch the other night was one of the best I have ever seen, but man, sometimes he takes such curious routes to the ball that I wonder if he bought the map from Dwayne Hosey. He's good, but my early impressions are that Johnny Judas was a step better.

• I get the same sinking feeling when I realize Scott Kazmir is pitching against the Sox that Mets fans get when they realize Kazmir is pitching against . . . well, anyone.

• This Week's (Okay, Last Week's) Reason Jerry Trupiano Is As Funny As A Hemorrhoid, Chapter 2, Vol. 28,987:

This arrived in my in-box courtesy of my friend Hans, a colleague from my Monitor days, after Papi's walkoff single against the Phillies a week or so ago:

chad -- wondering if you caught this classic trupiano moment yesterday, which was accurately recounted in this morning's BSMW:

"Many people were probably in their cars driving home from work listening to the end of the game, and heard the over-the-top call from Jerry Trupiano which contained Superman references and screaming about how the Phillies did not have the kryptonite to stop Ortiz. It was impossible to know what actually happened, as all we knew was the the hit was to left center and than "Ortiz has done it again!" Listeners were left to wonder what exactly did Ortiz do? Hit a home run? It took almost a full minute for them to tell us how Ortiz won the game for the Sox."

that's exactly what happened to me. i was in the car and had no idea what ortiz had done. it was so obvious that trup had his lame superman riff rehearsed and ready to go that he forgot to actually explain what had happened. i didn't know until they got around to mentioning the final score (let's see, 8-7, guess it wasn't a dinger). also, he practically peed himself -- "Didn't I tell you?!!!" -- because he had correctly predicted that ortiz would try to stroke something to left or left-center. (let me get this straight: you're saying ortiz WON'T attempt to ground out into the overshift? you sure about that?)

on saturday, during the ortiz at bat, he kept his mouth busy by recounting all the stops in flash gordon's career instead of just shutting up and letting the drama build. his way back call was several beats behind the crowd reaction because he had to cut himself off. i'm still waiting to find out what happened to flash after he left the cubs.

Oh, I heard the fool - I was driving to work, and had the same reaction as my friend did: What the bleep was it? A single? Coke bottles? What happened!? I'm surprised he didn't call the Phillies pitcher "Lex Luthor." Just a horrible, contrived call. Sometimes I think Troop gets so geeked up during these extra-inning games - when he gets to do the play-by-play rather than Joe - that he can't help but go completely over the top trying to get his little soundbite. Too bad he has absolutely no sense of drama, tone, pace, the flight of the ball, anything. There are rumors that Troop is out after this season. God, I hope so. They could put Rosie O'Donnell in the booth next to Uncle Joe and I'd consider it an upgrade at this point. My hand is getting really tired of punching the steering wheel.

• Last year, I found Ozzie Guillen refreshing. This year, I find myself looking forward to the day he makes that one unforgivably stupid comment that will cost him both his job and his forum.

• I'm okay with Curt Schilling getting left off the All-Star team - four Sox is enough for me, and I suspect for the rest of the country as well, and while he's been good, he hasn't been nearly as good others who were snubbed, particularly the Twins' dazzling Francisco Liriano. Consider these stats, plucked from my heroes at Fire Joe Morgan.

[Liriano is] 9-1, 1.99 ERA. in 81.1 IP, he's allowed 59 H, and has a 94/20 K/BB ratio. His WHIP is .97. The league is slugging .292 against him, with a .256 OBA. His DIPS is 2.44. He might be the best pitcher in the AL right now.

The kid is having the season Felix Hernandez was supposed to have. There's no player I'd rather see at this point, and it's a shame he won't have a chance to announce his arrival as superstar on the All-Star stage. Hopefully he'll get added by MLB.com final player vote. He deserves to be there, and fans deserve to see him.

• From a Dan Shaughnessy column on the Red Sox's decision to release Bill Buckner, June 6, 1990:

At least Buckner did not have to wait for an old-timer's day or a 20-year reunion to learn that Sox fans aren't taking it personally anymore. Opening Day 1990 was a cathartic experience for Buckner and the baseball fans of New England. The hobbling warhorse got the loudest and longest ovation when Sherm Feller introduced this year's Red Sox.

My points: All the hairdos and talking-heads who claimed Buckner was "finally" forgiven at Fenway during the recent reunion of the '86 are either a) revising history for the benefit of a stupid-ass storyline, or b) have no friggin' idea what they're talking about. Probably a little of both, actually. Sox fans have NEVER held anything against Buckner, an original Dirt Dog who was admired for his toughness and productivity. I wish Fox Sports and the like would stop perpetrating the myth that Boston drove him away. He's always been welcome here.

• I've learned to give Danny Ainge the benefit of the doubt on draft day, and I think he found some helpful players again this season. Though I thought Randy Foye and Brandon Roy were the two most ready-made pros in this year's class, Sebastian Telfair has the ability to become a legitimate starting point guard, and getting him out of that Portland mess and bringing him here is a risk worth taking. Rajon Rondo, a live wire with lockdown defensive skills, was one of the most intriguing college players I saw last season, though I admit I'm not as intrigued as Billy Packer, who couldn't go two possessions without mentioning the size of Rondo's hands. If he could develop a better jumpshot than say, yours, he could be special. I even like second-rounder Leon Powe, who has the talent and maturity to stick in the Association. But Ainge's B+ grade becomes an immediate F if he trades for Allen Iverson. While I appreciate Iverson's ability and fearlessness, his reckless play (and, perhaps, lifestyle) suggests to me that when he loses it, he's going to lose it fast. Getting him as he heads into his 30s is an ill-advised move, particularly at the expense of the young talent Ainge has stockpiled. Futhermore, it would contradict Ainge's plan for restoring the franchise, raising my suspicions that the motivation for any such deal would be putting fannies in the seats rather than building a legitimate contender.

• You know major-league baseball's steroid investigators have a credibility problem when that walking pharmacy Jose Canseco's conspiracy theories start sounding plausible.

• Tell me again who the Sox were going to get for Manny this time last year? Aubrey (.266-6-23) Huff? Lastings (I got it, I got it . . . whoops, you take it) Milledge? Mike (.255-9-32) Cameron? What's that saying? Sometimes the best deals are the ones . . .

• When I realize I have an email from Peter Gammons - a writer whose words have been a part of my red-seam-wrapped world since I was 8 years old - let me tell you, I can't open the thing fast enough. Sometimes the emails arrive unsolicited. Other times, they are replies to an off-the-wall question ("Did Chico Walker get a fair shot with Boston?") I figure only he can answer, or would care to answer for that matter. Our most recent exchange, a few weeks ago, was regarding the death of an obscure former Phillies outfielder named Ron Jones from a brain aneurysm at age 42. Eerily, not a few days after I last heard from him, the news came that Gammons had been stricken with the same affliction and his life was in danger. While his prognosis sounds encouraging, I feel compelled to take a moment to say thank you to a man I've only met a few times, but whom has had an immense impact not only on my career but on my direction in life. His knowledgeable, passionate writing in the Globe convinced the young me that he had the coolest job in the world. Much to my delight, all these years later he's become a great friend to this silly little site, so generously situated in our corner even when I've been critical of something he's said or written. (You might have noticed I tend to get a little defensive when it comes to Manny.) Which, the way I understand it, makes me somewhere around the 1,000,000th person he's helped along the way. Be well, Peter. Baseball isn't the same without you.

• As for today's Completely Random Baseball Card:


Not sure what is more amazing: That Glavine is again a Cy Young contender at age 40, or that he apparently made the big leagues well before he hit puberty.