A boy named Nancy

Ten free minutes for me, 10 free pea-brained ideas for you . . .

1. Just when I was talking myself into thinking J.D. Drew would be a good fit in the No. 5 slot for the Sox, Gordon Edes reveals that the injury-prone and indifferent Drew's nickname within the Dodgers clubhouse was "Nancy Drew." Good lord, and I thought calling him D.L. Drew was an insult. Suddenly, I'm thinking Trot Nixon on a one-year deal to platoon with Wily Mo isn't the worst idea. And Dave Dellucci wouldn't be a bad Plan D. At least they want to play.

2. Gary Matthews Jr. was a .249 hitter coming into this season. He's 32 years old. He's been claimed on waivers three times and outright released once. He was nearly traded straight-up for Tony Graffanino last spring. And he gets five years and $55 million from the Angels? How long until the buyer's remorse sets in? April? Then again, I'd rather have Matthews than Juan Pierre, who has no power, no arm, and makes more outs than just about any player in baseball. I'm not one to get worked up about contracts . . . but damn, some of these deals are just inexplicable.

3. The only chance the Bears have of beating the Patriots Sunday is if they can make Tom Brady play like his name is Rex Grossman. I can't see the Chicago offense making much headway (even if Willie Clay and Prentice McCray end up starting in the Pats' depleted defensive backfield), and I can see Brady, Laurence Maroney and the Pats solving Urlacher and his fearsome friends just enough to win. Prediction: Patriots 17, Ditka 9.

4. Okay, after that football interlude, I gotta go back to my rant about all of these ridiculous baseball contracts. If Alfonso Soriano is worth $138 million, and Carlos Lee gets a nice, even $100 mil, what would a 34-year-old Manny Ramirez get on the open market right now? One-twenty? One-fifty? Or would his age and spaciness work against him? I never for a moment thought Manny's 8-year, $160-million contract was an albatross for the Sox - I've certainly got my money's worth watching him through the seasons, and he never failed to produce - and now, with two years and $34 million remaining, it's a downright bargain.

5. Ken Walter? Really? That's the best they can do? Again? Was Brooks Barnard unavailable? OH, I suppose Josh Miller was struggling this season, and he's older than you think, but make no mistake, he'll be missed. He was the unsung hero of the Patriots' Super Bowl victory over the Eagles, and he's about the steadiest punter the Patriots had since Rich Camarillo called Foxboro home. Yeah, Miller's just the lonesome punter, but this a major loss.

6. Gotta love the New York tabloids, which were predictably outraged when the Twins' Justin Morneau edged the sweetest-smelling shortstop in all the land for the AL MVP award. George King, the dishonest and slimy Yankees beat writer for the NY Post, went so far as to suggest it was an anti-Yankee bias that cost Captain Intangibles his rightful honor. Funny, but I didn't hear anyone spouting such a theory when A-Rod beat out Papi for the award last year.

7. Brian Scalabrine has no business being inside an NBA arena without paying for a ticket. Why Doc Rivers continues to give him any minutes at the expense of Gerald Green, Leon Powe, Ryan Gomes, Terry Duerod, anyone, remains a damning indictment of Doc's abilities as an NBA coach and talent evaluator.

8. Tony Romo reminds me of Jake Plummer . . . except, you know, good. Forget what I said last week - you bet I'm buying the hype now, to the point that I'm daydreaming of a Pats-Cowboys Super Bowl and wondering how Belichick would defend Dallas.

9. Hard to believe his fumble against the Jets is the lone transgression that has Doug Gabriel buried deep in the Belichick doghouse. Among the new receivers, he seemed to adapt the quickest to the Patriots offense, and until two weeks ago I had more faith in him than I did Reche Caldwell or Jabar Gaffney. There's gotta be something we don't know.

10. As for today's Completely Random Baseball Card:


What's that you say? It was Pat Dobson? The ex-Oriole? Whoops, never mind then.

Nine innings: 11.13.06

Woo-hoo! At last, we've got ourselves some legitimate hot stove chatter. (Jeter-style fist pump for joy!) . . .

1. If Buster Olney is correct and the Sox are shelling out 30-something million just for the posting rights to 26-year-old Japanese pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka, well, I guess Sox fans have at least temporarily lost their right to yelp about the Yankees' massive financial advantage. And you know what? Go ahead and call me greedy - I'm giddy about the possibility of Matsuzaka, the MVP of the World Baseball Classic, doing his mysterious gyroball thing from the Fenway mound. You bet I believe the hype about this guy. Chris Kahrl of Baseball Prospectus broke down Matsuzaka's stats, translating them to what they might look like had he been pitching in the majors rather than Japan . . . and damned if he doesn't fall into some extremely elite company. Of course, this is no done deal. As we await the verdict on who the high bidder is, the lingering question is this: Is Olney right? While ESPN's ace baseball blogger is a terrific writer and more often than not a voice of reason, his batting average on scoops is somewhere near the Mendoza Line; I'd hardly be shocked to see Matsuzaka grinning and wearing an Angels hat at a press conference three days from now. My hunch? I do think the Sox are the winner, with a bid around $30 million, trumping the Yankees' pretentious $27 million bid. (Consider the significance of the number 27 to them for a minute, then commence gagging.) I can see the Sox doing this for a handful of reasons: 1. Theo has long said the Sox's mission is to add premier players heading into their primes, and by all accounts Matsuzaka qualifies. 2. The posting money doesn't count toward the luxury tax, a huge benefit to the Sox. 3. It opens up lucrative Far East possibilities - and don't think Matsuzaka won't be shilling Red Sox Nation membership cards in the Japanese market. 4. The Sox are desperate to improve their ballclub this offseason, but with few upper-minors propects to trade and an underwhelming free agent class, it's one way to get a coveted player without terribly overspending or trading away the farm. 5. It sticks it to the Yankees. Can you tell I really hope this happens?

2. So if this Matsuzaka thing does pan out, the Sox are set with a rotation of him, Schilling, Beckett, Papelbon, and Wakefield. There's not a Kevin Jarvis in the bunch. Better yet, it means we can put a long overdue halt to the incessant pining for Roger Clemens in certain corners . . . at least until midseason, when he'll so subtly drop hints through his agents that he might be willing to come out of his latest semi-retirement and pitch for a mere $10 million per month. Just go away, phony.

3. Unless the Sox cough up the big bucks for the one reliable middle reliever on the market - come on down, Justin Speier! - much of their Extreme Bullpen Makeover is probably going to have to come from within the organization. That's a frightening thought upon first consideration, but I think at least these two sleepers are poised to help the Sox next season. 1. Bryce Cox. The '06 draft pick from Rice has a sick slider to go with his high-'90s heat . . . in other words, he sounds like the pitcher Craig Hansen was supposed to be. 2. Devern Hansack. I know, he doesn't have the pedigree . . . but I was extremely impressed with his poise and stuff as he pitched Portland to the Eastern League title last season, and he wasn't too shabby in his season-finale no-hitter* either.

4. After devouring Gordon Edes's insightful and whimsical lists of five players who might be in the mix at each position for the Sox, I offer my list of five players I hope they pursue: 1. Speier (though the fact that he's 17 for 37 in save opportunities in his career might be hint that he's not cut out for the pressure of Boston. 2. Eric Gagne (someone's got to close, and while I'm suspicious of his mysteriously shrunken physique, he's still mighty effective when healthy). 3. Aubrey Huff (love the thought of him as a 400-at-bat bench player, though Eric Hinske is basically the same guy). 4. Octavio Dotel (once a dominant setup guy, he should be better in '07 now that he's a over year removed from his Tommy John surgery). 5. Kerry Wood. (Sleeper closer candidate. What, he reupped with the Cubs? Drat.)

5. And five I don't want. 1. Julio Lugo (seriously, what is the front office's fascination with this erratic mediocrity?) 2. Joe Borowski (journeyman benefited from Florida's spacious park) 3. Ray Durham (plays for the Giants . . . stunning power surge at age 35 . . . hmmm . . .) 4. Doug Mirabelli (one lousy Dr. Charles-produced sequel was enough). 5. Barry Zito (cool dude and fun to watch, but he's a Yankee batting practice pitcher and is not worth the cash he's going to get).

6. As far as that J.D. Drew-to-the-Sox rumor goes . . . I suppose I could be talked into thinking it's a good idea, but I sure ain't sold right now. While he played 146 games this season and led the Dodgers in OPS, homers, and RBIs, he has some well-established characteristics that might not go over so well in Boston. For one, he's injury-prone, and while he's had only one significant ailment in the last three seasons (a broken wrist), he's got a reputation as someone who is reluctant to play through a particularly sore hangnail. Those who look at him from a distance and see a young Trot Nixon will be sorely disappointed when they watch Drew up close - this is no Dirt Dog by any stretch. He plays the game with a casualness that borders on indifference - he's the reincarnation of Fragile Fred Lynn, minus the willingness to challenge a wall - and something tells me that's not going to go over well with the Dirty Cap Admiration Society once they realize what he's all about. Drew's talented, all right, but that's the extent of his appeal.

7. With the announcement this week by the Yankees that Jason Giambi will be a full-time DH next season (assuming his pharmaceuticals remain effective), and assuming Brian Cashman finds the list of free-agent first baseman as uninspiring as everyone else does (Kevin Millar, anyone?), here's some conjecture that might just become reality: Nomar Garciaparra, first base, New York Yankees. I'd like to think he has too much soul to ever wear the pinstripes, but they did covet him last offseason, and you know Georgie Porgie is always in favor of luring iconic ex-Red Sox to the Dark Side.

8. Okay, so maybe he was mean to Michael Holley, and maybe it wasn't wise to say he didn't like watching baseball as a fan (funny how that one word is always omitted in most criticisms). Still, I remain convinced that the cause of Keith Foulke's injury problems in his final two seasons in Boston can be found in the physical sacrifices he made during the '04 postseason, particularly in the midst of the ALCS comeback when he threw 100 pitches in three days. Foulke traded two seasons, if not the rest of his career, to do his damndest to make Johnny From Burger King's baseball dreams come true that October, and for that you must be forever grateful. We should, and will, remember him for this first and foremost: Foulke to the set, the 1-0 pitch . . . here it is. Swing, and a ground ball stabbed by Foulke! He has it, he underhands to first . . . and the Boston Red Sox are the World Champions. For the first time in 86 years, the Red Sox have won baseball's World Championship. Can you believe it?" Yeah, you bet I'll remember him well.

9. As for today's Completely Random Baseball Card:


Mark Littell's small claim to baseball fame comes from serving up the series-winning home run to the Yankees' Chris Chambliss in the 1976 ALCS . . . that is, until now.

(Click the "watch video" link, and prepare to cringe, fellas.)