Sunday, November 26, 2006

And don't forget John Lowenstein

Whoa, check it out! It's a weekend edition of the long-lost Random Lists of Five . .

The five leading rushers on the record-setting 1978 Patriots:
1. Sam Bam Cunningham: 199 carries, 768 yards, 3.9 average, 8 TDs
2. Andy Johnson: 147-675-4.6-3
3. Horace Ivory: 141-693-4.9-11
4. Steve Grogan: 81-539-6.7-5
5. Don Calhoun: 76-391-5.1-1

Five receivers chosen in the second round by the Patriots.
1. Bethel Johnson, '03 (fast and clueless)
2. Tony Simmons, '99 (fast and clueless)
3. Kevin Lee, '94 (busted his jaw in preseason and is still on IR as far as I know.)
4. Deion Branch, '02 (fast, smart, fearless, clutch . . . and rich.)
5. Chad Jackson, '06 (fast and clueless so far . . . but there's hope)

Five players drafted ahead of Kalamazoo's own Derek Jeter and his barely pubescent intangibles in the 1992 MLB draft. (Cap'n' Jetes went sixth, to Team Beelzebub.)
1. Phil Nevin, 3b, Houston Astros (Astros scout Hal Newhouser quit after his pleas to pick Jeter were ignored)
2. Paul Shuey, RHP, Cleveland Indians (whatever happened to him, anyway?)
3. B.J. Wallace, LHP, Montreal Expos (never made the majors)
4. Jeffrey Hammonds, OF, Baltimore Orioles (Charismatic underachiever, he was compared to Rickey Henderson while at Stanford. Turned out he wasn't even Steve Henderson)
5. Chad Mottola, OF, Cincinnati Reds (Quadruple-A lifer who had a cup of coffee with the Jays this season at age 34.)

Five best episodes of The Office:
1. Casino Night (Watch it again. There is not a wasted word or moment in the seamless, Steve Carell-penned script. I dream of writing something that good someday. Once.)
2. Booze Cruise (Krasinski deserved an Emmy nod alone for his performance during the famous deck scene that featured 30-something seconds of silence.)
3. Diversity Day
4. Boys and Girls (You know how we feel about Jenna Fischer - Hi there! Meow! - but even someone who doesn't find her as lovely as TATB does must admit that she never fails to capture Pam's anguish/vulnerability with subtle brilliance.)
5. The Merger (Best line of many: "Wow, you're exotic-looking. Was your dad a G.I.?" Also: "Hi, I'm Jim." Perfectly in character for the situation.)

Five Maine Guides only me and Steve Buckley have heard of:
1. Steve Marsden
2. Doug Simunic
3. George Cecchetti
4. Barry Brunenkant
5. Wil Culmer (the original Pedro Cerrano)

Five wild 'n' crazy characters on the otherwise forgettable 1975 Cleveland Indians:
1. Oscar Gamble and his kick-ass 'Fro
2. The Eck
3. Boog Powell
4. Blue Moon Odom
5. Gaylord Perry

Five favorite sports talk radio shows (in no particular order):
1. The V Show, late-night weekends, ESPN (Bob Valvano is affable and reasonable)
2. Mike Felger Show, ESPN 890, Boston (Felger makes fun of himself enough to make up for the Corey Dillon-is-mean-to-me melodrama; a hell of an alternative to the Big Blow on 'EEI)
*3. The Home Team, WGAM 900, Nashua, N.H.
*4. The Shootaround, WZON 620, Bangor, Me.
*5. The Sports Zone, WTPL 107.7, Concord, N.H.
* - Blatantly sucking up because TATB is/has been a regular guest. And we're always looking for more . . .

Five best NFL teams I've ever seen:
1. 1994 San Francisco 49ers (So ridiculously stacked, Ed McCaffrey and Wesley Walls were scrubs.)
2. 1985 Chicago Bears (Lose points here for stiffing Payton in the Super Bowl.)
3. 1992 Dallas Cowboys (Back when Emmitt could really dance.)
4. 1978 Pittsburgh Steelers
5. 2004 New England Patriots (Will history give them their due?)

Five best NBA teams I've ever seen:
1. 1985-86 Boston Celtics (Walton hitting Bird on a backdoor cut. Basketball poetry.)
2. 1986-87 L.A. Lakers (Magic's best all-around season, and Worthy and Byron Scott were in their prime.)
3. 1982-83 Philadelphia 76ers (If you never saw Andrew Toney before he got hurt, you missed out.)
4. 1984-85 L.A. Lakers. (Gotta give 'em credit for getting over the hump and taking the Celtics out in 6.)
5. 1995-96 Chicago Bulls (72 wins? Ah, I say the '86 Celts beat 'em in 5.)

Five defensive backs Belichick and Pioli were brutally wrong about:
1. Brock Williams (waste of a third-rounder in '01)
2. Dexter Reid
3. Guss Scott (though injuries have robbed him of a legitimate chance)
4. Antonio Langham (God, was he terrible)
5. Tommy Knight (a first-round pick of the Cardinals in the '90s . . . in other words, he had no chance.)

Five players the Sox should pursue instead of Lugo and Drew:
1. Eric Gagne (isn't anyone going to close next year?)
2. Dave Dellucci (ideal 350-at bat stick off the bench)
3. Mark Teixeira (among all the Manny rumors, this is the most intriguing)
4. Brad Lidge (but not as a closer - he's too jittery post-Pujols - and certainly not in a deal for Manny)
5. Some anonymous middle reliever who will work cheap and deliver a sub-3.50 ERA. (Ah, those guys don't exist, do they?)

Five coolest members of Phi Slamma Jamma:
1. Benny Anders (he's the Jheri-curled flash who misses a steal by thismuch right before Lorenzo Charles's famous dunk, and one of basketball's all-time enigmas. )
2. Larry "Mr. Mean" Micheaux
3. Akeem Olajuwon (pre-H)
4. Michael Young (Celtics first-rounder who was beaten out as a rookie by Rick Carlisle)
5. Alvin Franklin (much was made about the revelation that he didn't know where the library was on the Houston campus. Not sure that would be news nowadays.)

Five favorite Bruins (and remember, we're too young for Orr):
1. Cam Neely (the ideal Bruin and a better man whose lasting legacy has nothing to do with hockey)
2. Terry O'Reilly (he shoulda been from Southie)
3. Stan Jonathan (all-time favorite goon, though John Wensink is a close second)
4. Adam Oates (there's always room for a natural passer on our team)
5. Bob Beers (Mighty UMaine's own, and let's just say he had the reputation of living up to his last name)

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