TATB Live: Patriots 31, Eagles 28

While watching one of today's junior varsity games a few hours ago - the Chargers-Ravens, I think it was - the color commentator opined with a certain level of confidence and a high level of ignorance that no one will beat the Patriots this season, but that the Patriots "will beat themselves," his point being that they will suffer a mental letdown one of these Sundays, and that's when they will lose.

I'm not sure who said commentator was, but he clearly suffered multiple concussions at some point in his career. The 2007 Patriots will never lack for motivation. Because of the over-the-top fallout from the CameraGate nonsense, this is the most vengeful, focused, angry, motivated, downright pissed off football team you, me, and any other football-watcher is possession of a shred of common sense has ever seen.

They may lose somewhere along the road, though at the moment I tend to doubt it. But should it happen, it won't be because they beat themselves. And it sure as hell won't be tonight against A.J. Feeley and the Philadelphia Eagles.

Let's go for 11-0. Gentlemen, start your engines.

FIRST QUARTER
. . . And as I'm writing that intro/rebuttal, Asante Samuel picks off a Feeley duck and takes it to the house, becoming the 20th Patriot to score a touchdown this season. It's 7-0, New England, and Tom Brady hasn't stepped on the field yet. I believe we can file that one under "Going According To Plan."

Well, I guess I'm going to have to eat at least a few of those words I just wrote. The Eagles just strung together a 14-play, 77-yard drive featuring several quality throws by Feeley and capped off by a one-yard leap into the end zone by fantasy football franchise player Brian Westbrook, knotting the score at 7-7. "You'd have to call that shocking," Al Michaels says, and I think most Patriots fans are nodding in agreement right about now.

The Pats' offense takes the field for the first time tonight with 6:31 to play in the first quarter. Did I mention how impressive that Philly drive was? Dammit, it's only the first quarter, and I'm already exposed as a hypocrite.

Rodney Harrison has already limped off tonight (it didn't look serious, but you never know) and Brady has taken a hellacious hit that you could tell he was feeling. No, the karma definitely is not good thus far.

The Patriots come out in a hurry-up offense with four wide receivers, including Kevin Faulk lining up wide on at least one play. I'm getting Air Coryell flashbacks, and you know I'm digging it. Someone let me know if you see J.J. Jefferson.

Now that's what you call a goal-line offense: Mike Vrabel at tight end, Junior Seau at fullback in the I Formation, and Heath Evans at tailback. Surprisingly, the play that gives the Pats a 14-7 lead isn't a pass to touchdown-machine Vrabel, but a one-yard blast into the end zone by Evans. All in all, an impressive, effortless answer to the Eagles' drive.

Says John Madden: "You wonder, where is Laurence Maroney?" Actually, I'm not sure it was Madden. It might have been that Frank TV guy for all I know. But it's a valid point. It seems like a long time ago that we were giddy about Maroney's explosiveness and potential. I don't know if he needs to grow up or his nagging injuries are holding him back, but I sense that there are some doubts as to whether he is the back of the future here after all. Heck, he might not be as good as his U of Minnesota runningmate, Dallas's Marion Barber III.

SECOND QUARTER
Maybe it's because I watched so much horrendous quarterback play today - I just cannot believe Kyle Boller and J.P. Losman were ever first-round picks - but Feeley actually looks more than competent, just as he did in 2004 when he was in Miami and the Dolphins upset the Patriots in December. He and Westbrook have the Eagles moving the ball effectively again, and the Patriots' defense looks out of sync and a little bit slow right now.

Junior Seau on Westbrook: "He's one of those three-dimensional players you can't stop, you've just got to try to contain him." Somewhere, Dan Patrick nods in approval.

Well, well, what do we have here . . . a competitive ball game? I'm not ready to say the Patriots are in for a four-quarter battle just yet, but Feeley just connected with Greg Lewis on a dazzling deep ball right out of the Brady/Moss highlight reel - really, Feeley made a perfect throw and Lewis a sensational catch - and it's even at 14. I'll concede this much right now. The Pats aren't going to cover that 24-point spread.

The Eagles are playing like they have nothing to lose, attempting and recovering an onside kick after the TD. "They're taking it to them," Madden says, and there's something disconcerting about that truth. Fortunately, the Eagles go three and out after Feeley stunts the possession by falling for a sack on first down.

Brady has completed four straight passes, three to Moss. It's like Brady and the offense has suddenly switched into "Quit ------ around" mode.

Five straight . . . six straight . . .

The Patriots are moving the ball effectively, but Philly is getting a consistent pass rush off both ends. The Patriots' offensive line has been outstanding all season, but suddenly the tackles are looking a little Max Lane-ish. (You know, I take that back. Matt Light with two peg legs would be more effective tackle than Reggie White's whipping boy.)

I won't say a field goal that gives you a 17-14 lead is a lost opportunity, but with first and goal inside the Philly 10, you'd think the Pats would be able to punch it into the end zone. But Brady gets sacked, Welker can't bust a tackle on third down to get into the end zone, and Gostkowski bangs home the three. That should be Maroney territory, you know.

Feeley is picking apart the Pats' secondary. Jeez, now there's a sentence I didn't think I'd write tonight. But he's doing a great job of getting rid of the ball just before the Patriots' pass rush arrives . . . and dammit, he just did it again, hitting Lewis on a post pattern for the go-ahead score. It's 21-17, Eagles, and the Patriots have shown no indication that they're capable of stopping them. Better hope for some shrewd halftime adjustments, folks, because whatever they're doing right now is not working.

Lewis has as many catches tonight (5) as he had all season coming into the game. In a completely unrelated note, remember when Eugene Wilson looked like a future Pro Bowler? He's inactive tonight despite not being on the injury report at the end of the week. What an inexplicable fall from grace.

The Patriots have allowed scoring drives of 77, 76, and 70 yards tonight. To an offense led by A.J. Feeley. At this point I will note that I've seen more of Eddie Jackson and Rashad Baker tonight than I have Adalius Thomas and Richard Seymour, and I wish that were one of my usual exaggerations.

Despite Lito Sheppard and friends doing a decent job of keeping Moss from getting deep, it appears the Eagles can't stop the Patriots, either. With typical precision, Brady passes the Pats down the field (I don't recall a single running play on the drive, and Maroney, apparently the Gene Wilson of the offense, still has not seen the field tonight), and a strike to Jabar Gaffney gives New England a 24-21 halftime lead that it probably doesn't deserve.

Four quick halftime thoughts, one of which actually has to do with this game:

1. Feeley is playing admirably tonight, but you have to figure the Pats will solve him in the second half. Belichick is a master of adjustments, of course, and you have to figure Feeley really isn't that sharp given that he supposedly ditched US soccer babe Heather Mitts.

2. Costas, Collinsworth, and Olbermann (a hat-trick of look-at-me blowhards) make me long for the days of Brent Musburger, Phyllis George, and Irv Cross. Especially Phyllis George.

3. At this point, Archie Manning has to wondering if Eli is really the milk man's spawn.

4. If Peter King still claims Baltimore has a chance to beat the Patriots, he must be drinking crystal meth lattes these days. That team is excruciating, and Brian Billick owes his career to Moss.

THIRD QUARTER
Not exactly the way you'd draw up the first possession of the second half, with a penalty on the kickoff, a penalty on first down, a near interception, and a sack in which Brady got rattled by Darren Howard. Fortunately, Patriots punter Chris Hanson (who I'm assuming is a part-time employee) launches a bomb from the end zone, and the coverage team keeps the Eagles on their side of the 50. Time to see about those defensive adjustments . . .

. . . and a much-needed three-and-out by the Eagles, with Rosey Colvin, Ellis Hobbs, Thomas, and Seymour swarming Westbrook on third and 2. So far, so good.

How about taking a deep shot with Moss here? He'll strike at some point, right, or does Brady not have the time to let a deep play develop?


Damn, Wes Welker is just fearless over the middle. It is reminiscent of Troy Brown in his prime, except I don't remember ol' No. 80 taking the shots Welker takes. How does he get out of bed on Monday mornings?

Well, there it was - the deep shot for Moss, I mean. Damn near connected, too, except he couldn't quite hang on to what looked like about a 50-yard gain. Give the Eagles' DBs credit - they're not letting him beat them.

Third down . . , Welker . . . first down.

Dude, check it out - a Maroney sighting! He looks good, too, carrying the ball three times on this drive and hitting the holes with decisiveness rather than falling into his maddening Reggie Dupard happy-feet dance in the backfield. Perhaps sitting him out in the first half was all part of the plan rather than anything more sinister.

Wes Welker is just . . . well, he's just one hell of a football player. Taking a little screen pass from a pressured Brady at midfield, he turns upfield, ducks behind a beastly Stephen Neal block, and zips all the way to the Philly 4. He really does do all those Troy Brown things, doesn't he?

Now that is a wasted opportunity, one that will linger in the Patriots' minds should Philly somehow steal this game. On first down, a Moss touchdown was negated by an offensive pass interference call (which, to be honest, could be called on him much more often than it is). Brady, under siege, threw a pass behind Welker at the 5, and on third down he was hurried and underthrew Watson. It's to Stephen Gostkowski's credit that we assume the three points whenever he trots onto the field within reasonable range, but he hooked this one from 32 yards, and what should have been a 10-point lead is stalled at 3.

I'm not convinced Feeley is even an average quarterback - although considering what constitutes a starting QB these days, I might be selling him short - but I will say that he's playing better tonight than I've seen Donovan McNabb play in quite some time. Philly fans can have a quarterback controversy if they want one.

Michaels: "The Patriots find themselves in a dogfight." (Pause.) "Sorry, poor choice of words." And somewhere, a single tear rolls down Michael Vick's cheek as he snuggles his affectionate new roommate Bubba.

Sorry, no time for jokes. Philly is driving again, and as Madden points out, the Patriots are doing a poor job covering the in-cuts of the Eagles' receivers. Philly may well take the lead here, and at the least Gostkowski's lousy kick looms large.

Third and four at the Pats' 8. Huge, huge play. . . gotta be Westbrook, right?

Nope. Ten plays (all passes, Michaels points out) and 78 yards after the drive began, Feeley hits Reggie Brown on - you guessed it - an inside pattern, and the Eagles take a 28-24 lead. I feel like I'm watching a Pete Carroll team right now, with Randall Gay playing the role of Chris Canty.

Sure-handed Kevin Faulk drops a third and 3 pass deep in Pats territory, and this has officially gotten frustrating.

I've never heard of Nick Cole until this moment, but I'm glad I did. The anonymous Eagle, No. 59 in your program, is called for a neutral zone infraction before the punt, giving the Pats a first down. They must take advantage of this. It's imperative the way this game is going heading into the final 15 minutes.

FOURTH QUARTER
Madden says he's suspects that the Eagles are frustrating Moss right now, and that leads to an interesting point: this is a great opportunity for Moss to prove that he can be depended on when things are not going well for his team. Because, let's face it, hanging in there during dire or frustrating circumstances has never been one of his personal attributes.

On fourth and 4 from the Philly 35, the Patriots go for it rather than have Gostkowski attempt a 52-yarder. I like the decision, though the play ultimately had no chance. Takeo Spikes, who has lost about three steps since his Cincy days, nonetheless gets to Brady on a blitz, forcing him to underthrow Moss on a short sideline pattern. And I'll say it again: The Patriots' line, fantastic all season, has been absolutely porous tonight.

Andrea Kremer - who isn't shy about giving Brady the ol' Moonie Eyes - informs us that Colvin (foot) and Gay (back) have gone to the locker room with injuries. Cruel as it sounds, I'd be more concerned if they were actually playing well.

Pats inside the red zone again, thanks to two more huge catches from Welker, including one on third and 9 that extended the drive. I think that gives him 11 tonight. I wonder how Moss likes being the decoy?

Okay, Kool-Aid (check out the ridiculous door on his ride), all is forgiven. Maroney blows through the guts of the Eagles' defense from nine yards out - seriously, it's the best run I can recall him making this season - and the Pats retake the lead, 31-28.

Just under seven minutes left. Philly starts inside the Pats' 10. A championship-caliber defense makes a play right here, doesn't it?

Maybe, but the current version of the Pats' defense doesn't. Feeley hits Lewis for 11 yards on third and 3, and the Eagles wiggle out of a bad situation.


Feeley is killing the Pats over the middle, completing three straight passes for three straight first downs well into New England territory. What the hell is this, a prevent?

God bless you, Asante Samuel. Pay the man, Mr. Kraft. Pay the man!

. . . and after No. 22's second pick of the night, running under a Feeley floater in the end zone like he was the intended receiver (now that's the A.J. Feeley I used to know), the Pats convert on third and 6 on a slant to Gaffney, who has been immense tonight. Philly has just one timeout remaining, so one more first down ends this thing, and we can all exhale.

"Who will cowboy up on Sunday Night Football"? Man, I hope Millar gets royalties for that commercial crap.

Philly gets it back after three Maroney runs take time off the clock, but Feeley, who apparently turned back into a pumpkin around 11:15, hits James Sanders in the numbers with his first pass, and that'll do it. The Patriots are unbeaten. Still.

A parting thought while we wait for the '72 Dolphins to put away the champagne glasses: I guess there are two ways at looking at tonight's developments. First, you have to figure there will be nights like this even if the Pats do ultimately run the table, and it is to the immense credit of Brady (who was outstanding tonight despite taking a beating that would have put Tony Eason in a permanent fetal position) and Wes Welker (13 catches, 149 yards), among others, that they won this game when it so easily could have been lost. Despite tonight's far from perfect performance, I still disagree with that nitwit broadcaster who said the Patriots will eventually beat themselves; they're the last team in the history of football that will beat itself. But that brings us to the other way of looking at this - Philadelphia followed the Colts' approach to attacking this team, and it damn near worked. They pressured Brady constantly, took advantage of the underbelly of the Patriots' pass defense (I wish they had just one more quality linebacker who can run), and had the talent in the defensive backfield to hassle Moss. So I guess the lingering question is this: Is there another team on the schedule who has the personnel, coaching, and discipline to pull off the "blueprint," as Madden called it? I still doubt it, but it certainly adds a little more intrigue to the next five weeks.

Wait! Four more things I forgot to mention:

1. The Patriots had one sack tonight. Feeley did a fantastic job getting rid of the ball quickly, but that's no excuse for Vince Wilfork, Ty Warren, Jarvis Green, and Seymour to be invisible against the Philly passing game.

2. I was encouraged by what I saw from Maroney in the second half, and frankly, they are going to need that if this season is going to end with a victory. The Eagles obviously had little respect for the Pats' running game, and while the spread offense was effective in the first half, it's alarming that they had just one carry from a running back in the first 30 minutes.

3. Keeping Brady healthy is obviously the key to, well, everything, and he took way too many bone-rattling shots tonight. This simply cannot happen again.

4. Samuel really must be signed. He's convinced me. He's an elite cornerback, he does the things Ty Law used to do, and the drop-off from him to Hobbs and Gay is like going from Mike Haynes to Elvis Patterson. All right, so that's hyperbole (hey, it's late), but you get the point. He's essential, and he's as big a reason as anyone that they survived tonight.

Pats-Broncos, live

All right, as promised, TATB is in the house, and hell yeah, we're ready for some football. We're stuffed full of pesto pizza, are well-stocked with the appropriate football-watchin' beverages (no daiquiris in this house, Jeter!), and as my wife likes to remind me, I'm in the ideal physical condition to be planted on the couch for the next three hours. Now if I can just forget the frightening image of that she-male singer Pink warbling from my TV, I'll be all set.

Prediction? Well, I always have faith in the Belichick Pats . . . but Denver, 5-1 in their last six against New England, always scare the hell out of me, and Mike Shanahan might be the second-best coach in the league. Rod Smith usually has something like 17 catches for 287 yards against the Pats, Champ Bailey should be avoided at all costs, and Denver's D as a whole is fast and mean - they made the Patriots look positively old in the regular season last year. But if Tom Brady plays like Tom Brady, Jake Plummer plays like Jake Plummer, and the Maroney/Dillon duo gains enough ground to keep the Broncos honest, I say the Pats eke it out, 21-17.

Let's do it:

PREGAME
• Sez Al Michaels per his pregame introduction: "With the Red Sox off the radar, it is officially and exclusively football season in New England." All right, I guess I'll buy that . . . at least until Manny's next trade demand or some other news of significance emanates from Yawkey Way, and then the Sox will bounce the Pats back down to the bottom of the sports page again. I'm not saying that's how it should be. That's just the way it is.

• The Broncos' offensive lineman don't talk to the media and thus don't cooperate with the familiar Name/College personal introduction. Rather, they are introduced by Michaels as still headshots appear on the screen. So, yeah, they are exactly the kind of jerks you'd think a jacked-up pack of cheap-shot artists would be.

FIRST QUARTER
• Denver takes it at the 20 after Stephen Gostkowski clobbers the opening kickoff into the end zone. Even the most ardent Adam Vinatieri fan has to admit the rookie is an upgrade there. Denver gets one first down, Plummer completes a couple of crossing patterns (they killed the Pats with crossing routes last year during the Duane Starks debacle), but they end up having to punt after two series, pinning the Patriots at the 1.

• No one is doing much of anything early . . . and yet John Madden is not yet audibly snoring, despite inhaling three whole turkeys during the pregame. I think I heard his stomach growling, though.

• The Charlotte Observer erroneously reported that Bucs quarterback Chris Simms is hospitalized in critical condition after taking several hard hits in today's loss to the Panthers. Peter King sets the record straight, saying Simms is in the hospital but is not in critical condition. King resists the temptation to tell us to trade Carson Palmer for Simms in our fantasy league, since Simms has "miraculous healing powers."

• Andrea Kremer checks in with some inane report from the sideline. Gotta say, I lost some respect for her when I saw her standing on a milk crate to look taller while interviewing Drew Bledsoe a few years ago. She's like Shelley Smith's Mini-Me.

• At 5:08 of the first quarter, we get our first mentions of Deion Branch and David Givens. I thought it would be sooner. Props to NBC for avoiding the beaten-to-death storyline. Or maybe Madden and Michaels thought they were still around until now.

• No Chad Jackson tonight. Geez, did this kid get his hamstrings transplanted from the cadaver of Vincent Brisby?

• John Lynch nearly picks off a Brady wobbler near midfield. The Pats came thisclose to signing Lynch after the 2003 season when he was let go by Tampa, but the Pats reportedly backed off due to concerns regarding his history of neck problems. Bet Belichick wishes they'd taken the chance. Not only would Lynch and Rodney Harrison have made a deadly pair of safeties, but he'd have made Harrison's injury last season much easier to overcome.

• My wife is being quiet. Too quiet. Whoops, she speaks: "Can I change it? I'm kidding. We need another TV in this house. This is boring. Have you published yet? You should hit publish."

• (Hitting publish while gently weeping . . .)

• Third and 9, Denver, from their own 2. Plummer dodges Mike Vrabel in the end zone, then slithers around Junior Seau for the first down. Very, very impressive improvisation, the type of play Plummer does so well. Have to admit, I'm a longtime fan dating back to his Arizona St. days, and with his job in jeopardy after a shaky start to the season, I expect him to play well tonight. He might not be that reliable, but the dude is resilient.

• My wife, scanning through the TV listings menu: " 'Misery' is on. We saw that on our first date." Me: "Damn, that couldn't have been more appropr . . ." WHACK!!.

• Score after the first quarter: New England 0, Denver 0, but the Pats are moving the ball . . .

SECOND QUARTER
. . . until Maroney is stuffed on fourth and 1 from the Denver 36. Have to admit, I was giddy to hear Shanahan say the Pats got a steal in Maroney and that Denver would have taken him had Jay Cutler (supposedly No. 1 on their draft board) not been available. I mean, you gotta respect the Broncos' acumen with running backs. Terrell Davis, Olandis Gary, Mike Anderson, Tatum Bell . . . when was they last time they missed on one?



Oh . . . right.

• Plummer is 0 for his last 7 pass attempts. Shanahan, who in his sunnier moods looks like Norman Bates, appears to be ready to wallop him to the ground with his clipboard, choke him with his headset, then repeatedly stab him with his pencil. Hey, how do you think he got rid of Danny Kanell?

• . . . and then in his typically schizophrenic manner, Plummer suddenly finds a rhythm, hitting someone named David Kirkus twice, eventually getting all the way down to the New England 9. Then Rod Smith (who else?) gets seven on third and 6 to set up first and goal at the 2.

• The Pats hold 'em to 3, thanks to a holding penalty, Ty Warren's continued spot-on impersonation of Richard Seymour, and a blind-side blitz by Rosey Colvin that forced an incompletion. Not a bad way to salvage things, and with 7:20 left in the half, it's Denver 3, New England 0.

• That ubiquitous but heartwarming Dwyane Wade commercial just came on for the 20th time . . . you know, the one where he gives all the stuff to the youth program. I say to my wife, "That's Dwyane Wade. He's one of the best basketball players I've ever seen." Her reply: "From 'A Different World'?" You know, I bet Shaq would like that joke.

• Not sure I heard correctly, but I think Al Michaels just said Chris Simms had a blood transfusion. Yikes. We'll put a moratorium on the jokes. [Turns out it was a ruptured spleen, and his season is likely over. The truly frightening/astounding thing is that after feeling extremely ill during the game, he returned to lead a fourth-quarter drive. We sure can't question this kid's toughness again.]

• Denver hasn't given up a touchdown this season, but the Pats are making a bid thanks to Maroney, who blew up for 31 yards on a screen pass to get to the Broncos 19. The Pats haven't had a back who can move like this kid since Curtis Martin was winning over Bill Parcells.

• Andrea Kremer climbs back up on her trusty Oakhurst crate and tells us Dillon has returned to the locker room with an "arm" injury. That could be anything from a scratch to amputation at the shoulder in Pats-speak, but she says he's probable to return. Either way, looks like it's on Maroney for now.

• Three straight incompletions, and Sisson . . er, Gostkowski comes out and promptly gets his second consecutive field-goal attempt blocked. Madden immediately blames the poor field conditions, but man, that's tough to excuse considering the field is always in lousy shape. Whoever's fault it is, I know this much to be true: Somewhere, Glenn Ordway is chortling through a mouth stuffed full of Cheez Balls.

• Third and 8, Denver, from their own 48. You know what comes next: Rod Smith, 18 yards, first down. I swear, if this guy gets to Canton someday, his personal highlight film will come entirely from games against the Patriots.

• At the 2-minute warning, NBC just showed Brady's stats: 10 for 15, 115 yards. Not. Good. Enough.

• On third and 1 with 50 seconds left in the half, Javon Walker gets a step on Ellis Hobbs in single coverage, and Plummer makes the kind of throw we've come to expect from Brady. The result: Touchdown, Denver. Gutsy call, and the visitors lead, 10-0. Suddenly it's mighty quiet in Foxboro.

• The Pats' 2-minute drill stalls at midfield, Brady rips off his chinstrap Peyton-style and absolutely looks like he's moping, and home team trots off the field to scattered boos. I'm guessing this isn't quite the way Belichick drew it up.

Score at halftime: Denver 10, New England 0

THIRD QUARTER
• Maroney takes the kickoff back to the 23. I HATE having him taking kickoffs. He's too valuable, especially now that Dillon has been downgraded to questionable. Put Faulk back there.

• Pats go three-and-out, and John "I'd Take A Knee Here" Madden, just jostled from his halftime nap, is writing the team's eulogy already: "The Patriots just can't get anything going. Cris Collinsworth was just talking about it at halftime, the whole body-language of Brady and their offensive players and their sideline . . . they just don't look like the champion Patriots we're used to seeing." Now, normally I'd rip him for this sort of thing . . . but I think I wrote about it myself three paragraphs ago, so I've gotta agree with him here, if only to avoid being a hypocrite. Truth is, Brady looks like he's thinking about Deion Branch with every incomplete pass. And as great as Brady is, don't you dare suggest that he doesn't have horrible body language sometimes - slumping his shoulders, staring at the ground, looking like he'd just lost his beloved Fido. Hell, the coaches supposedly talked to him about it last week.

• Uh-oh. Rodney Harrison leaves with an injury. Great. Next play, Plummer targets his replacement, James Sanders, and Sanders obliges, interfering with Kirkus for a 30-yard penalty. That's smart football on Denver's part, and horrible coverage by Sanders. I'm pissed.

• Chad Scott makes a big hit to bust up a pass to Walker on third-and-7, preventing a first down. Shockingly, Rod Smith did not drop out of the heavens to catch ball milliseconds before it hit the ground. He's slipping in his old age.

• Three and out again, with Brady overthrowing a slightly open Troy Brown on a flea-flicker. Say this for the Broncos' defense: They know how to defend a team with no wide receivers.

• How's this for a horrifying thought: What if Brady's weekly listing on the injury report (probable, arm) actually isn't a superstition or an attempt to tweak the NFL rulesmakers, but a clue that maybe a physical problem is the reason for his subpar play? I tell you, the way he's throwing the ball, it's time to consider it.

• Denver is pinned at the 2 when Darrent Williams pulls a Deltha O'Neal on the punt and barely avoids a safety. Says Madden: "This is where Bill Belichick needs to be a defensive genius." Plummer promptly hits Rod Goddamn Smith for 10 yards, thanks to a Chris Canty-like 11-yard cushion by the maddening Asante Samuel.

• [begin whine] Samuel is hit with a phantom pass interference call, and I just had a flashback to last season's playoff game, when the refs sometimes seemed hellbent on making the Pats play 11 men against 13. Is Shanahan the head of officiating or something? Cripes, it would be really swell if the Patriots got a call against Denver one of these seasons. [end whine]

• 5:16 remaining in the third quarter, and Brady's deep post to Reche Caldwell is tipped away at the last second to stall another series. Yup, at this point I'm left to report near-misses, almost-completions and Reche Friggin Caldwell sightings. This is going fantastically well!

• Did Ben Watson dress for this game? He did? Really? You'd think someone being hailed as Antonio Gates + Ben Coates + the Elder Kellen Winslow would be, you know, noticeable.

• Harrison is back, and Tedy Bruschi has been all over the place. So they've got that going for them, which is nice.

• They just showed the replay of Watson running down Bailey in last season's playoff game. Astounding, astounding hustle and athleticism. One of the most impressive plays I've ever seen, even if it was ultimately meaningless. I hereby apologize for bitching about him a minute ago.

• Brady, incomplete deep to Doug Gabriel. Good to know he's active. I honestly wasn't sure. [Edit: Turns out he didn't play in the first half.] Anyway, another three-and-out. None of the quick-slant, timing stuff is working. (Where have you gone, David Givens?) Josh Miller is their best offensive weapon. I wonder if Pink can play receiver. Or linebacker.

• Madden, who's surprisingly insightful tonight: "The Patriot offense just looks like they're frustrated. They're having trouble getting anything going, and it looks like it's affecting them. Watch their body language - they're all just kind of hunched over and walking off the field. Football is a game of passion and emotion, and when you lose that, you don't have anything . . . I hate to use the word sleepwalking, but they're sleepwalking out there." Gotta say, the Human Turducken is absolutely correct here. I thought the long faces were supposed to be limited to the Broncos' helmets. Not so far. After three quarters, it's 10-0, ElwayFaces.

FOURTH QUARTER
• The Broncos are starting inside their own 5 for the third time tonight. Doesn't logic suggest Plummer should throw a stupid-ass pick one of these times? He's playing with the poise of a quarterback who's very secure in his job. Quick, put a shot of Cutler on the JumboTron.

• And this one's over. Plummer, a split second before he's turned into snakeskin by Richard Seymour, hits Walker down the left sideline on third and 6, and the ex-Packer who nearly became a Patriot in the offseason splits the useless Sanders (in for a cramping Eugene Wilson) and the overmatched Samuel, and goes 82 yards for the backbreaker. Denver goes 97 yards in five plays, it's 17-0, and the camera catches Belichick expressing the sentiments of New England fans everywhere: "You've gotta be ------- kidding me."

• WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED? I SWITCH CHANNELS, COME BACK, AND THE PATS HAVE 7 POINTS? COULD THERE BE HOPE? SHOULD I STOP WATCHING AS NOT TO JINX THEM? AND WHY THE $*$**@ AM I WRITING IN ALL CAPS?

• (Oh, it was because I was behind on my DVR . . . and it was a long drive to boot. I'm ashamed. Leave it to me to miss their only touchdown. Have I mentioned I love Doug Gabriel?)

• Pats get the ball back, but go three-and-out. Arggh. I'd like to witness one highlight tonight. Five minutes left and they need two scores. Not looking good.

• The Pats' dink-and-dunk down the field, but on fourth and 1 from the 20 with 1:07 remaining, Brady's 55th pass of the night falls to the sod, and the suspenseless defeat is complete. Final score: Denver 17, New England 7. Good think the AFC East stinks, or it might be time to worry why the Patriots quarterback has had three subpar games in a row and looks like he's trying to throw the damn deep ball all the way to Seattle.

• So what are our instant conclusions from this? Well, obviously, that Denver is, at the moment, a superior football team. They've beaten the Pats, the closest thing to a dynasty in the modern NFL, six times in their last seven meetings, and Denver very well could have won the lone game they lost. They should be the favorite every time they play the Patriots from here on out, and their Genius Coach is one step ahead of our Genius Coach. Maybe by the time the playoffs roll around New England will be a worthy (and even superior) opponent, but right now they have a long way to go to even pretend to be a Super Bowl contender. The wide receivers and the quarterback look like they are working from different playbooks, the defensive backs are tripping all over each other, and the big names on defense aren't making big plays - or even stopping the Tatum Bells of the world - when the situation pleads for it. I trust that, given good health, the Patriots will be a better team at the end of the season than they are right now; that's usually the case with a Belichick team, and hey, they are 2-1. But three games into the season, they hardly look like the team we hoped they'd be, and they've got some long yardage to go to get there.