Why Jerry Trupiano is as funny as a hemorrhoid, Vol. 2006, Chapter 1

Red Sox vs. Phillies, third inning, someone named David Pauley on the mound for Boston:

TRUPIANO: "Did I tell you I saw him (Pauley) in the clubhouse before the game? (Guffaw.) He was eating a bowl of soup. I looked at him and said, 'Pauley want a cracker?'"

(Pause. Silence. Cars careening into telephone poles all over New England.)

JOE CASTIGLIONE: "Get it all out of your system now. Opening Day is Monday."

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As for today's Completely Random Baseball Card:



"I GET IT, I GET IT. CRIPES. NOW QUIT ASKING ME IF I WANT A %*%*##**$* CRACKER, ALL RIGHT, OLD MAN???!!!! GEESH."

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(First in what is sure to be a recurring series.)