Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Eau de Intangibles

Yeah, like I was going to let this pass.

In case you missed it (and a tip of the ballcap to the dozen or so readers who sent this along), here's a snippet from the AP story that answers the question America has long been asking: If you could smell smugness, what would it smell like? Well, here it is, at long last - the sweet scent of Jete-Jete:

"I have been very involved with creating this fragrance -- everything from the blend of scents to the design of the bottle and logo," Jeter said in the news release. " . . . I wanted to make sure the final product was something men would like to wear - and that women and A-Rod would want them to wear. "

The fragrance is a blend of chilled grapefruit, clean oak moss, spice, and Ken Huckaby's cold blood.

Oh, all right . . . I made up that Huckaby part.

(But it could be true . . .)

And Jeter may not have mentioned A-Rod in that last quote there.

(But he should have . . . )

Anyway, a few more rumors and observations that may or may not be entirely accurate:

* Jeter came up with this because he just couldn't take the stench anymore - he had to do something to make Yankees fans smell better.

* A-Rod doesn't care how pretty it smells, he's still Jean Nate man.

* Giambi wants to try it out, but he's waiting for it to come out in an injectible form.

* Poor Joe Buck. You just know McCarver is going to bathe in this stuff.

* Early test samples singed the forest of hair in Joe Torre's nose. Firefighters from three boroughs were required to douse the flames.

* Even when it stinks on occasion, Yankees fans will refuse to acknowledge as much.

* Jeter originally wanted to name it after his uniform number, but quickly realized "No. 2" isn't a very good name for a fragrance.

* Cory Lidle digs it so much, he uses it as an ice cream topping.

* And finally, from reader Kevin B.: "Am I wrong in assuming it comes with a patented fist-pump dispenser?"

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