Thursday, February 02, 2006

Imperfect 10

Ten free minutes for me, 10 free random thoughts for you . . .

1) I'm not sure what was more surprising: watching that oblivious moron Mark Blount skip up and down the court like he actually gave a damn, or the fact that the oaf did it without tripping over his own two feet. Sure, he played well against his old team - because for the first time in about two years, he was actually trying. He's all yours, Minnesota. Enjoy. I haven't been this happy to see a Boston athlete get the hell out of town since Dan Duquette finally cut his losses on Carl Everett.

2) Call it Traitor's Remorse: After hearing a surprisingly wistful Johnny Damon on David Lee Roth's radio show the other day (which is execrable, by the way), and then hearing that he was booed recently when his picture was shown on the JumboTron at a Rangers game, I have come to this conclusion: He'd better get off to a fast start in New York, or those nagging second thoughts he's having about leaving Boston are going to become full-blown regret.

3) I can't say the news that Tom Brady played much of the season with an injury comes as a surprise. He threw more blantantly errant passes in the final month of the season than he has in the past two years. All along we thought it was just superstition or the Patriots' way of tweaking the NFL, but maybe he really did need to be on the injury report all those weeks after all.

4) Alex Gonzalez hits like Pokey Reese, albeit with more power, fields well but not quite as stylishly, and is known to have a moody personality that is the polar opposite of Pokey's sunny selflessness. I'm not saying the suddenly popular comparison of the Sox's present shortstop to one from the recent past is entirely invalid, but I am saying Gonzalez's popularity at Fenway will not come within a T stop of Pokey's once we get to know this guy.

5) If you want a feel-good story from this Super Bowl that doesn't involve Jerome Bettis and the rest of his overexposed, well-fed family, keep in mind that Steelers linebacker/braying fool Joey Porter survived being shot in the rear end during a bar altercation a few years ago. It is nothing less than an act of God that he didn't suffer brain damage.

6) You read it here first: Jonathan Papelbon will be the Red Sox' closer by June.

7) Dammit, Scott Pioli, I told you you should have drafted Lofa Tatupu. Next time, pay attention, and maybe you'll win a thing or two in this league. Cripes.

8) The 'EEI banshees have spewed a lot of their patented faux angst this week while lamenting that Andy (We Hardly Knew Ye) Marte could become "the next Ramirez." The weird thing is, I happen to agree with the nitwits for once. Marte sounds to me exactly like the second coming of Aramis Ramirez.

9) Ted Sarandis's relentless badgering of Boston sports fans regarding his beloved B.C. basketball team actually led me to doing the unthinkable last night: I rooted for Duke. I know . . . I feel so preppy. I think I need a shower.

10) As for today's Completely Random Football Card:

Well, Matt, they do say the bald-as-cue-ball gene comes from the mother's side.