Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Five reasons we are glad to see Johnny Damon go

1) The noodle-armed throws from deep center field, where he requires a cutoff man to reach the cutoff man.

2) His appropriately titled, borderline coherent attempts at locker room literature. "Idiot" is no "Ball Four." Hell, it's not even "Balls."

3) The bubbleheaded bleach blonde of a second wife, who's overexposed by any definition.

4) Too much ado about the 'do. Get a haircut, hippie!

5) Insincere quotes that really piss TATB off in retrospect, such as this gem he spewed to in May:

"There's no way I can go play for the Yankees, but I know they are going to come after me hard. It's definitely not the most important thing to go out there for the top dollar, which the Yankees are going to offer me. It's not what I need."