Greenie, with envy

News item: Former Boston Red Sox outfielder/kamikaze Mike Greenwell, the runner-up to Oakland A's juice guy Jose Canseco for the 1988 American League Most Valuable Player award, told the Fort Myers (Fla.) News-Press that he should receive the award now that Canseco has admitted using steroids.

Said Greenie: "Where's my MVP? [Canseco's] an admitted steroid user. I was clean. If they're going to start putting asterisks by things, let's put one by the MVP."

Canseco hit .307 with 42 home runs, 124 RBIs and 40 stolen bases while winning the '88 MVP award unanimously. Greenwell batted .325 with 22 home runs and 119 RBIs.

Greenwell told the News-Press he never used steroids in his 11-year big league career, all but confirming that the only thing he injected into his butt was his own head.

(Footnote: Greenwell's MVP candidacy apparently wasn't hurt by his reputation as a defensive spaz. Sox centerfielder Ellis Burks took more hits from Greenwell than Drew Bledsoe takes on a typical Sunday. To this day Burks's face begins twitching at the mention Greenwell's name. You think we're kidding.)