Just plain sick

News item: According to this week's issue of Sports Illustrated, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was bed-ridden with a 103-degree fever the night before the Patriots beat the Pittsburgh Steelers in the AFC championship game.

The magazine reported that Brady had an intravenous line in his left arm Saturday night while fighting off chills in his Pittsburgh hotel room.

Naturally, Brady threw for two touchdowns with no interceptions to lead the Patriots to a 41-27 victory and their third Super Bowl appearance in four years.

In a related story, Brady confirmed last night that he intends on contracting whooping cough, gout, scurvy, swine flu, rickets, irritable bowel syndrome, and ear mites in the two weeks before the Super Bowl, then playing flawlessly against the Eagles "just because I can." He also mentioned that he has a goiter.

SI writer Peter King, who first reported the story, was waxing and buffing Brett Favre's little red Corvette and could not be reached for comment.