Saturday, January 14, 2006

Squib kicks

Ten free minutes for me, 10 free throwaway lines for you . . .

1) TATB is an admirer of Jake Plummer dating back to those Big Man On Campus days when he and the late, great Pat Tillman led an undermanned Arizona State team to the Rose Bowl, but even his most ardent believers have to expect that he'll hit a couple of Patriots defensive backs in the numbers today.

2) Two Broncos that should be giving Pats fans the night terrors: Champ Bailey (reminiscent of a prime-of-career Ty Law, but with faster wheels) and Rod Smith (doesn't it seem like he puts up a 9-169-2 line every time he plays the Pats?)

3) Continue to hold him accountable for past sins if you must, but Paul Pierce deserves better than this.

4) Julian Tavarez . . . Rudy Seanez . . . Mike Timlin . . . Guillermo Mota . . . hmmm, seems to me that the Sox' accumulation of proven, interchangeable setup men suggests that if Keith Foulke self-destructs again, a sequel to the 2003 flop "Closer By Committee" may be coming soon to a certain ballpark near you.

5) If you knew Cedric Cobbs was on the Broncos' practice squad, well, I'm guessing you had a better fantasy football season than I did.

6) I've written it before and I'll write it again: In my 27 seasons as a fan, I cannot recall a Boston athlete more admirable in the way he goes about his business than Troy Brown.

7) Can't you just picture the NFL's most insufferable preener of a ref flexing, kissing his biceps and saying, "Two tickets to the gun show, anyone?"

8) Considering Bill Belichick's predilection for rule-bending attempts at gamesmanship, am I wrong to worry that Tedy Bruschi's absence from the injury report also means he'll be absent from the lineup?

9) Now, I'm not saying the Red Sox' newest reliever is homely, but rumor has it Freddy Krueger once wore a Julian Tavarez mask for Halloween.

(Rimshot! Thank you, thank you . . . I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress and click those Google ads. Hint, hint, etc.)

10) As for today's Completely Random Football Card:

Tom Jackson, "NFL PrimeTime," approximately 11:49 tonight: "All right, ---- it. The Patriots LOVE their coach, okay? LOVE him. He's great, a genius, the best there ever was, the best there ever will be. All right? Is that enough for all of you ------ Pats fans? Huh? I was wrong. I admit it. I don't know what the ---- I'm talking about, ever. Just throwin' ----- against the wall. Now leave me the ---- alone, all right? Wha . . . NO, I'M NOT, OKAY, BERMAN!!! DO NOT TOUCH ME, BOOMER!!! DON'T TOUCH ME, I SAID!!! BACK-BACK-BACK-BACK OFF!!! I'VE HAD ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOU, TOO, YOU STUMBLIN' BUMBLIN' -------------."